Unsure

[Cinlu]

So I have been with my hub 10 years 7 married. I believe he's controlling. He spends more time away from home than with me. We have 2 homes...one just sold...he is an OTR owner operator. I feel like he makes excuses for not being with me. Has anyone else felt neglected because their SO spends too much time away from them. I'm alone more than anything. Hating life today.

[hypercat54]

What is an OTR owner operator? How is he controlling apart from being away so often?

[Cinlu in reply to hypercat54]

Over the road truck driver. He goes out but forbids me from going out with friends. He has cameras in our home watching me.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Cinlu]

Cinlu

It sounds like you've got some problems here. Is he abusive? I hope you are safe?

🐬

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Cinlu]

Hi Cinlu,

Does your husband look through your computer or phone? Be aware of posting anything you wouldn't want tracked.

[Cinlu in reply to Nothing_but_books]

He is not physically abusive. He looks through my phone logs and texts. He doesn't check through my emails though. He hasn't gone through my phone for a little bit. I'm safe but very lonely.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Cinlu]

I know from my own experience that abuse does escalate. Going through your things and setting cameras on you is abusive. It'd be good to talk to someone about what's going on, a domestic abuse counselor or a therapist.

If you call 211 and ask what's available locally, they'll help you. Maybe you can even find an in-person support group.

[bethelbee in reply to Cinlu]

Having cameras on you, checking your phone logs and texts, and forbidding you to go out with friends is emotional and psychological abuse and invasion of your privacy. Please take the advice of others on here that have gone through it and talk to someone. Keep us posted..

[Cinlu in reply to bethelbee]

I have a therapist. She thinks it's wrong too.I know it is also. I'm just so lonely. I want friends. I work just so I get to see other people. I unfortunately drink to pass time which is horrible. Every adult relationship i have had has had some angle of abuse. I know i would make it on my own but have zero desire to struggle financially anymore.I just need someone to talk to.

[bethelbee in reply to Cinlu]

I'm glad you at least have your therapist to talk to and that you are working . Do you have any friends or family you can talk to? You said you don't want to struggle financially, I don't blame you, but is it worth your mental health? You deserve to be treated with respect and have peace in your life. If you haven't already, start stashing $ away for yourself in an account he can't find. Hope you're able to find some peace. Continue to reach out here for support.

[Nothing_but_books]

The link is for the domestic abuse hotline. They are more qualified to help you protect yourself than we are. Please protect yourself.

thehotline.org/

[CLB1125]

I would be concerned. I don’t know who you should speak with but this isn’t normal husband behavior. Make sure to clear your history on your browsers so he doesn’t find your posts here. Please take care

[Nothing_but_books in reply to CLB1125]

I don't know a thing about how computers myself, but the National Domestic Violence Hotline says this:

"Internet usage can be monitored and is impossible to erase completely."

[CLB1125 in reply to Nothing_but_books]

That’s true.