I have GAD, MDD, PTSD. I am a 55 year old female. I haven't always suffered from these disorders. I used to be a full-time functioning, working woman.
Eight years ago, all of these repressed memories started flooding my mind. I broke.
I have been hospitalized over 30 times with multiple suicide attempts.
I always knew there was something different between my father and I. He treated me much different then my two siblings. Now that I have the answers my siblings do not believe me and we barely speak.
I have isolated myself. I have severe social anxiety. I have two friends that I try to keep in contact with but I always fail to keep the lines of communication open. I have lost them now.
I need a group of peers who are/have gone through similar situations and can share openly feelings and just vent.
I'm sorry you are going through this. It's even harder when you didn't have family support.
My family has a history of SA. It's unfortunate when family's didn't acknowledge it. They either try to sweep it under the rug or just outright deny it. Because how come it didn't happen to all of us? Or because of your "sudden craziness" you think that way.
It's just they really don't understand how abuse like that works. How the victim at the time doesn't realize anything wrong with what was going on because they were too little to understand or it only went on for a short period. And then everything "seemed" normal.
But as we do get older it tends to bleed into our reality that something went wrong. Struggle keeping romantic relationships that sort of deal.
Now that you are older like you said pieces to puzzles start to fit. And you remember things and now that the rose color glasses are off. You see things differently now.
It's a very difficult change and acceptance of it. That yes, these things did happen to you. And it hurts. I'm sorry the sins of your father brought you down. But it wasn't your fault. You did nothing to deserve that.
My husband is driving me nuts. He fell off a scaffold at work and broke a bone in his hand and has ligament damage in his wrist.
I am on disability and am taking care of him.
I have no problem whatsoever taking care of him. The problem is....
I was answering questions for him in ER, he corrected me regarding his pharmacy.
When he had surgery, instead of going to the pharmacy right down the road we had to 30 miles away and through a downtown area after spending all day at hospital while he was having surgery. When we got there the VA was closed. So he was upset I didn't drive fast enough and he was in pain.
Then he wanted his ex wife to bring over an ice machine to help with swelling.
I hadn't taken my medication for the day. His surgery was scheduled for 9am, it was supposed to take 45 minutes, and we would be out in 2 hours. The surgery took 3 hours. He was in a tremendous amount of pain and they gave him a lot of pain meds. We were there for 9 hours.
All i wanted was to get him home and settled. We had ice, he had 2 pills left from ER visit we could manage until the next day.
He couldn't understand this and kept on about me being jealous.
It felt like the more I did the more it was not good enough.
Sorry to hear that about your husband and that he's not being very nice to you.
Makes me think of my sister, IG. She had to have open heart surgery and our mom went up there to visit with her. It was hard on our mom. She struggles with mobility issues. But she went. Had her pj's stolen at the hospital and the hotel she stayed at stole her diet Pepsi.
But our mom was with her and my sister was a huge pain in the gluteus maximus.
She would yell at our mom about drinking coffee in front of her. Because she couldn't have coffee. She would yell at her for eating in front of her. Which our mom has too, because she's a diabetic. My sister would cry that nobody cared about her. Meanwhile I would call to check in with how my sister was doing everyday. I didn't talk to my sister directly because I knew she was in pain. But when she was crying about nobody cared. So I asked to speak to my sister, all I got was being semi yelled at cause I told her I'm sorry that she was hurting and I'm happy she made it through surgery. I damn sure wasn't going to ask how she was feeling cause I know I would have gotten yelled at.
I told her I would let her rest and pass the phone back to mom. She went off that she couldn't because she's in pain. And then she yelled for mom to get the phone and yelled at her for not being quick enough. Definitely not a person who could handle pain.
Our mom started to run out of sympathy and empathy after a week of being yelled at. My mom even began to have intrusive thoughts about a pillow and her daughter's face.
But our mom and my sister survived. She was later transferred to a rehab facility. And she was finally nice to our mom. What bothers my mom the most, is that my sister doesn't remember being that much of a jerk. She thinks she handle post op really well.
So I'm sorry that you were put through the ringer. I get people in pain can be sensitive and insensitive to others because of the pain but there's a limit.
That would make me upset too.... so your right to not let him gaslight you about the ex-, as I'm sure he knows exactly what he's doing to call her at all, it was just to push your buttons... next time he tries to play that old card, I would say to him....got over to her house and pull that crap there, and see how that works out for ya, and let him know that you'll just happily relax and do your own thing at home.
Right? That's what I wanted to do. He does it all the time. They talk and text regularly and he acts like I am just jealous if I even mention it. Drives me insane!!!!
That's his whole game girl... don't play it.... ignore it. She's an ex- for a reason. Get busy with your own stuff.... and let him know by your indifference that you have moved on from his gaslighting....
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No emotional support
Feeling lonely
emotional...
Depressed with no friends
Prayers needed!
