Codependence, healing, and coping.

[ScarletPanda]

I have been struggling my entire life with codependent behaviors, as far back as I can remember I have been living for the approval of those around me. I don't know how to live my life for me and it's incredibly deflating. I am just now realizing the way that my brain has been wired to operate and I am trying to change for myself and those around me. I am joining a support group for codependency.

Does anyone else struggle with codependency? How did you begin to heal? How did you find yourself?

[Roukaya]

Good morning

You are still very young and the most important issue is to recognise the problem which is Co - dependency and people pleading .

Being dependent on the approval of others can act as a boost for our ego and self esteem if we are accepted and validated .

However , in my own experience with extended family and friends seeking the approval of others and external validation is conditional upon the opinion of others and this may be fleeting at times .

There are times when this approval or validation is not forthcoming and this can harm our self esteem and our ego .

The issue is when we are not validated or approved of , how do we move on from this .

The rejection of others does not define me .

I am in mid fifties seeking to fulfil a life long ambition however , I could retire tomorrow as I have previously worked and I am self employed.

I apply and it becomes incredibly disheartening to keep going , but valudation comes from within and to have self belief and self confidence to know we are not dependent on the opinion of others but to validate ourselves .

Both Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston both said the greatest love is the love we have for ourselves .

This is our own self validation which does not need the continuous approval of others.

It has taken me many , many years to see we are enough as we are and to have self acceptance and take pride in ourselves .

It is what we think of ourselves first and foremost and I wish I had known this many years ago .

It does not what skin colour we are , what size we are or how attractive we are.

We are enough and to have self acceptance of this .To be at peace with our spirit .

It is our spirit and character which defines us .

It is how we treat ourselves and the self respect we have for ourselves and this will nuture self confidence.

[DontJudge in reply to Roukaya]

I'm glad to have come across this this morning. Thanks for this Roukaya