SEVERE Separation Anxiety

[ekimsnrub]

I am the father of a 22 year old son (still @ home) who has suffered from anxiety since he was very young but now has become a problem for him to go anywhere away from our home (or specifically his room). My question is, is there anyone out there about the same age who can relate to him? When I say severe I mean severe even to the point that if he does make plans, as the event draws near the vomiting and perfuse sweating begins. It's never anxiety, its ALWAYS an "illness" of some sort. The anxiety builds so extreme that there is no talking him back into reality and he cancels all plans. Not 2 hours later he is back to normal. This happens over and over like clock work. I'm afraid that as he grows older it will continue to become more and more extreme and crippling eventually. Thank you for your time, if I get some good feedback I will encourage him to join this forum. God bless.

[Jeff1943]

What you describe are common symptoms for agoraphobia and anxiety disorder and they can be healed no matter how long or how deeply your son has suffered.I first experienced anxiety disorder 60 years ago and I can tell you this: there is a book written 60 years ago that has cured untold thousands, including me. It is titled " Self help for your nerves" (also published in the U.S. as " Hope and help for your nerves") by Claire Weekes. Its a fairly short, very easy to read book available on Amazon or Ebay new or used. Order a copy, first read it yourself so you know what's happening to your son, then persuade him to read it. If he gets to the end of the first page he will finish reading the whole book for certain.

I wish you both well.

[ekimsnrub in reply to Jeff1943]

Hi Jeff! Thank you soooooo much for your reply, it is extremely appreciated. I have ordered the book and now pray it will do some good for him. It just breaks my heart to see him this way all of the time so I'm thankful for your feedback. God bless you Jeff!

[IChoose]

I have terrible anxiety at home and I find one of the things holding me back to getting well is the fact my "issues" are continually confronted. It's like I can't take a vacation from my anxieties, OCD, have time to forget about them, and then choose to make a new start.

Perhaps try leaving your son alone and let him work through these things without shame or embarrassment. Sometimes we want to climb out of this excruciating nonsense, and we know it's nonsense, but having people around us makes it difficult to become unstuck.

When the anxiety is building do not try to talk him into or out of anything (of course, as long as it's not self harm or harming others). That is the problem. Let him be alone so that he can quiet down. He alone should have power over himself, his life, his schedule, to determine when he goes out and when he comes in and why.

I can also say that animal assisted therapy, pet therapy, was the therapy that has had the best outcome for me so far.

The psychological and the physical and even the spiritual are all interconnected. So - saying it's not the anxiety, it's an illness, isn't really correct. It's all one thing. For instance, I can worry myself into high blood pressure. Or, as is proven, I'm an asthmatic so I have some anxiety.

You have my compassion - it's so hard living with people who suffer this way. At least he has a roof over his head and food in his mouth while he's going through this. And you likely provide it if he can't leave the house. So, feel good about yourself and let's hope somehow everything works out. I would encourage your to pray to St. Dymphna. Also, tomorrow is Feast of the Archangels. Perhaps ask them to help your son. Seriously, if you have Holy Water, sprinkle it around your home. As I said, it's all interconnected, including the Spiritual. Would he be willing to go to Church?

God Bless.

[ekimsnrub in reply to IChoose]

I’m so sorry to hear about your anxiety battles and not ever being able to have a rest or break from them. You will be added to our prayers. In your suggestion to leave him alone and give him some space, we surely have tried that with no success. Like you mentioned, he knows its nonsense but that doesn’t seem to change anything.

My wife’s response to him is as you say, she always tries to ‘talk him off the ledge’ so to speak during these stressful times. I on the other hand try a little humor but neither approach is working obviously.

Funny you should mention animal therapy. We are caregivers for my mother in law who lives with us who wanted a dog. Well the dog has now become the ‘family’ dog but our son REALLY enjoys his time with him. He says it helps a lot.

Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement. Our faith (as well as our son’s) is extremely sound in Jesus Christ our Lord and savior so there are no issues there. We attend church service weekly. Believe me, Jesus is probably tired of hearing from us all haha.

Thank you once again for your support and God bless you incredibly!