breakup support

[Shadow1800]

hi , my boyfriend of 14 years old left me last year and I having been having a terrible time since . I haven’t been able to pull myself together since . Any advice ?

[Cherryfizz34]

why did you guys break up?

[Shadow1800 in reply to Cherryfizz34]

he told me he fell out of love

[gajh]

I just wanted to say Hello and Welcome you here.

[Shadow1800 in reply to gajh]

Hello thank you I am happy to be here to find support and any help I can give to anyone

[Dolphin14]

Shadow1800

Welcome to the community.

That's a long time to be together so I imagine it's going to take time to grieve and move on.

Are you participating in life or are you in constant depression? Grieving and being sad is difficult but normal. If you are losing interest in your life you may benefit from therapy.

🐬

[Shadow1800 in reply to Dolphin14]

Hi , I try to keep do my best everyday to stay active . Yet coming home from work is very hard with no one there . I was use to coming home from work and talking to him about our day and cooking together . Now I am lost when I home . I try to keep myself occupied and not think about it but it’s hard . I start therapy this week . I am ready to move on, it took me awhile to come to this point but I think I’m ready . but it todays world it’s so hard to meet new people , where to go to meet new people . I am thinking about trying pickleball .

[Dolphin14 in reply to Shadow1800]

Hi

Things definitely change and you have to get used to a new routine.

I'm glad you are moving forward. It's not easy but good job motivating yourself.

A neighbor of mine is 87 years old and plays pickleball. He's in fabulous shape and believe me he's not puttering around, it's hard work. I hope you find it as enjoyable as he does.

I hope therapy helps you. Wishing you the best

[Shadow1800 in reply to Dolphin14]

Thank you so much it’s amazing that your neighbor plays pickleball at that age . I think getting out and doing something different and letting new people will help me both mentally and physically . I am also looking into volunteering at a local hospital .

[Curry223]

I’ve been through something similar (though not that long of a relationship) it was about 5 years together. I thought we had a stable and loving relationship but he thought otherwise and eventually ended up cheating and leaving. I thought I lost everything during the break up. I lost myself tbh but then I couldn’t continue to dwell on those feelings anymore because it wasn’t good for my health. I know it’s easier said than done, but focus on yourself, what did you like before you started the relationship? Any hobbies? Maintain a good routine to distract yourself and I promise you’ll get through this! God bless

[Shadow1800 in reply to Curry223]

Thank you so much for the advice I try to keep to a routine and also looking for new hobbies to keep myself occupied . . For 14 years we always had a routine after work and now it’s just me , it’s something I had to get use to . Before my relationship, I really didn’t have any hobbies , I was in college and I had to help my dad at the time., when I wasn’t doing school work . I really didn’t have any hobbies besides love being outdoors .

[Curry223]

nice you should definitely take advantage of this weather before it gets cold! Hope you’re feeling just a bit better and take you’re time with life.