I just feel like crying… but no tears come out…

[DangLifeisHell]

Husband has been snapping at me, as he yelled and slammed shit… “Don’t forget I quit smoking so I’m on edge”… then comes back asking me a bunch of questions about why I want to do today…. All nice and calm… I snap as he already ruined my night and now morning…. Suspects me to work today… I procrastinated again…. As I am definitely not in the mood now nor in the mindset to do all the paperwork I need to do…. Then yells at me “if you’re going to act like this.. then I don’t want to go out with you”… so I said “I don’t care…”…. Then moments pass and he comes to me “so are we going?” Twice and I said “no”…. He sighs…. I just don’t have it in me right now. I just want to be left alone to cry…. I want to fly back home but worry for my dogs as I know he doesn’t love nor care for them as much as I do…. But being home doesn’t help either as it shows I am a complete failure…. I’m not ready for this work week, and have so much more to do now that I procrastinated…. I needed to update my resume and look for a different job to quit… but I just don’t have the energy nor mindset to focus. There is so much that has happened… but I just can’t bare it…

[hypercat54]

If you are the only one working then you are keeping him? What exactly does he bring to the relationship which makes him worth keeping?

[DangLifeisHell in reply to hypercat54]

He cooks for us… and more afraid of how much hell he will give me if I try to leave. It’s easier to stay quiet.

[hypercat54 in reply to DangLifeisHell]

Sure its easier? For the rest of your life? How many years do you have left?

If he is a violent controlling person then yes I understand how scared you must be. It can push types like this over the edge - and we have all heard those stories.

Is it possible for you to start planning for leaving without him knowing? As far away as possible so he won't be able to trace you is where I would go.

Then I would get a restraining order, oh and buy yourself protection in case he gets violent. Is there anyone who can help you?

[Vonus5591]

When the pressure is on you, it is hard to appreciate all of life's joy. When you are exhausted, tired and in depression it can be hard to make effort. You are doing the best you can. Your situation might improve but you will have worked hard throughout. Having control in life brings some stresses on and others off. Being able to put food and afford son helps me, he nonverbal and unemployed. Sometimes unemployed is hard to find way out and drains us of hope but you never know what around the corner. I just do my part and I know others can't help themselves out of situation, just life.

[jackiesj]

DanglifeisHell....i truely get it. 68 and i cant budge. yes abuse or mean stuff...Ive left 5 times this year alone.His explosions. Why not leave...people dont get that. good for them. disabilities, frozen in bed some days...I report i am the one on the stand. Im tired. i had to leave for 5 days in a hotel...i realized how much healthwise i was better, not constantly caring for his stuff so i can breathe(asthma) i have a bed in the back of care prepared for each kas. funny how a prepared suitcase gives hope ....I do find a man on changing you he must be really un happy with himself so he tries to find your issues,,,Take care of you and prepare a kit you can go to for relief, In side i am happy in moments...in prayer, a bedroom lock on door and basic things i need.glad to chat. im on once in awhile. good sleep is the best medicine..even if its the couch or a car.