I'm feeling pretty alone in this fight. I have my therapist and my psych NP but talking to them once a week for 20-50 minutes doesn't soothe my loneliness.
When I was away in college and I would get depressed, I always wished I was home. Now I'm living here and I still want "home", which I think isn't a place but a feeling. I want to be safe in someone's arms; protected, supported and loved.
I thought or hoped I could find that here, biologically built-in. But it seems that different ideas and opinions get in the way. My mental illness is a scary invisible force that may or may not exist to them. It most certainly can't be perceived by them unless it completely possesses me in it's most intense form.
Who else can I take this to? I have very few friends spread across the world map, none of which I speak to daily or feel comfortable enough with sharing my darkest self to
There are no group therapies in my area where I could share myself with those forced to listen.
I feel alone in this fight; poorly matched and destined to lose
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SaltyWaves
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Your not alone.... that's for sure. I found the same feelings when I was in college, but honestly, I've had it my whole life really. Always looking for a way to fill the hole in the middle of me I felt. A lot of temporary fixes for a feeling that never seemed to go away. It took a long time to understand that it was the depression, and a combination of my CPTSD abandonment issues, and trauma. Even though I finally started to understand why I felt that way, it wasn't the fix. I had to accept that this was about acceptance....learning to cope.... and finding healthy alternatives, and also riding out those dark days knowing that it was the depression and mental injury making me feel that way....not any one particular thing.
I feel this way too. I found out that for me, it depends on the therapist how long they're available to run the sessions for. They always cut me short and it's suppose to be an hr. Once a wk. Regardless, I don't feel it's enough & I don't feel heard.
I've gained some helpful info and encouragement from great ppl on here. I need to voice this to my therapist, on how I truly feel.
It's been a long time for me. I have that feeling of longing and a void deep inside that needs to be filled. I'm on a journey to discover what works for me, but these commenter's here and others on here have been so helpful. They can relate. You're not alone! 🌹
Agreed.... the therapists job is to be helping you.... and if they are not doing their job, fire them and tell them your issues are not being met and you don't feel heard...and if they don't think they can help you.... would they refer you to a therapist that might be a better fit...
I too wish my therapy sessions were longer. They are only 50 minutes long when I think I probably need 90 minutes, but I'm not sure how my insurance would feel about that
I used to try and fill in some of my therapy time with some of the group therapy stuff too.... I also looked for groups that would meet for like 6-8 weeks that did anything from art therapy to dealing with grief and loss and learning to let go, did some on abandonment issues, etc. Did more writting to get stuff out, and this place is another great tool in the tool box of living with our stuff and finding ways to cope.
I would check with local psych. clinics , often there are group sessions at these kinds of clinics. That would probably vary from state to state, I was in CA at the time in the US. So you might want to check online for local or near by city clinic options.
Keep trying till you do... even online groups can be beneficial.... as you know this site is at least a way to talk to others who understand. There is so much out there on the internet.
It's tough! I'm sorry you're not feeling heard, I understand all to well. Once my therapist had a technical issue and we disconnected at the 20min mark, she didn't even attempt to reach me back. And most the time I'm getting 45mins the longest. It's frustrating.
Fauxartist is right.. I'm doing this too.
I found a program the offers free virtual group sessions, to help with trauma and other groups for support.
I'm learning these are tools, like here. Utilize them and research what will work for you. See if there's free zoom meets that can fill in.
Fauxartist, it's true, I'm learning to accept that there isn't a solution to completely rid ourself of these struggles.
Don't give up! I'm wishing you the best! Stick around here and ask away, it's so helpful ✨
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