Not a goodnight

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

had to call an ambulance for my mom at 12 am cause her breathing was terrible. She was wheezing pretty badly. She has asthma and wasn't answering my questions to well. So I made the call. Her oxygen levels were around 87. The paramedics asked her if she wanted to the hospital or do a treatment at home. She opted for the treatment at home.

But the paramedic didn't like how she was still breathing despite the nebulizer treatment. So they took her to the hospital. I could have gone with her but my anxiety is still bad. I feel a sense of shame because I didn't go with her. I guess in some respect I should feel some sort of pride that I held it together . Because I did get frightened and I felt really anxious. I thought I too was going to have a panic attack or an asthma attack. My mom and I both suffer from asthma. But hearse is a lot worse than mine.

It also scared me cuz it made me think that this may be my future someday. And I don't want to be. I don't want to be suffering from diabetes and asthma

It feels me full of dread but this may be a possibility. But I know that this is just anxiety talking. The real test will be when my fiance leaves this morning for work and I'll be here left alone. I'm afraid to be alone. Any support is welcome. I'm not a very religious.person. in fact I'm agnostic. Yeah I know the poor man's atheist or procrastinating atheist. But my mom is a Catholic. So if you're to pray 🙏🏽 for her that is cool. Or send positive,vibes thoughts or light a 🕯️ that's fine with me. I just want.Her to be. Okay

[Hidden]

I’m Catholic & will pray 🙏 Be back to sit with you

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to Hidden]

My mom is doing well. But she does have pneumonia. So she won't be home for a minute cause of her age (73). She did say the food was nice 🤣

[Hidden in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

Glad to hear that, Rest Up

[Willow2022]

I am sending all the good vibes I can find straight to you and your mom ☀️

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to Willow2022]

I actually did good. Did not have an anxiety attack which I'm kind of proud of. My mom is doing well. But she does have pneumonia. So she won't be home for a little while.

[Hidden]

I hope your mom is doing okay.💖

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to Hidden]

She is doing much better now but she has pneumonia. So she's going to be in the hospital for few days. Maybe several cause she is 73.

[Hidden in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

I’m so sorry. That has to be anxiety invoking. Keep us posted on how she’s doing.

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to Hidden]

Will do. Apparently I post this twice. But anyways she's doing better. They gave her pneumonia 💉 and nebulizer treatments along with her diabetes meds. She says they don't bug her as much as the bigger hospital and the food is pretty good. She was happy she got to have coffee ☕

My therapist was proud of me for not having an anxiety attack. And I am too. Cause for a sec I thought I was having trouble breathing. But I worked on controlling my breathing and I felt better and it got better talking to you guys about it along with my fiance and sister.

[Hidden in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

Good!!!! I’m proud of you. Hopefully she will be out soon.

[Agora1]

Sending Peace of mind to you and healing thoughts to your mom xx

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to Agora1]

Thank you. Got to talk to her today and she is doing a lot better but she does have pneumonia.

[Agora1 in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

I'm happy to hear that your mom is doing better today.Years ago they use to say...how ironic we can take care of pneumonia

but can't cure the common cold.

Wishing your mother continued recovery. When she is fully recovered

it might be a good idea for her to have the pneumonia shot.

How are you doing? Make sure you get in some "me time" by breathing

and bringing down your stress levels. A few minutes can help immensely. xx

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to Agora1]

Yes while at the hospital they have her the pneumonia 💉 and nebulizer treatments. She says she can actually get some sleep there. They come in every so often but not to the point we're it's annoying and the food ain't bad either 😂

I just got a new book and I'm starting a new photo editing project to keep those stupid intrusive thoughts away.