Understanding me. My abuse/family hell turned into cptsd and is turning into severe depression, loss of all ideals and personality disorder

[Against_the_current]

instagram.com/p/C_tUjrdy_J7...

The hell of a morning and these mornings await for me very single day from now on

My family is screaming. I was just sleeping and my sister started screaming about hurrying for something for school and then mom roared through her teeth at the end when sis left the house. All morning my sister was hysterical and at the very very end mom showed her teeth. Woman, shut her up in the beginning or don't shut her up at all, just scared ME. How am i supposed to function? How to get a job? I get woken up with screams. Me and my sister are neurodivergent and that's why she's always late and I'm interrupting people talking but mom doesn't understand and clenches her teeth and roars at us

[Cookie2217]

I'm so sorry that you're going through this right now. Late at night my mom used to show her teeth too through the bottom of a Scotch bottle at me. I was the target of her abuse which was very difficult throughout my teen years so I completely understand where you're coming from here. I had a very tumultuous relationship with my mother for many many years. One day she almost died and I showed up at her bedside and I said Mom everything that's between us we need to forgive and move on from enough is enough and I told her I was sorry for all the things I've ever said against her and then she said she was sorry for blaming me for my father's death and for many other things that she called me. We forgave each other that night and I had 10 more beautiful years with my mother. It seems to me that your mother may be mentally ill or that you are the targets of her rage. Either way things need to happen in order to change this outcome for both you and your sister. You need to make a plan and stick to it in order to ease your pain and your sister's pain. I know that you said that your father can't help you which I feel so horrible for and you know what my father didn't help me either he just let the abuse go on and on so I needed to do things by myself including continuing to put up with it until I didn't anymore. I moved out of my mother's house when I was 30 and we had some years there that were very difficult because she continued to drink which was progressive which meant that she was more abusive. I had to endure a lot from her relating to verbal abuse but in the end I think it made me a stronger person although my self-esteem and self-loathing issues stems from it. I can help others get through their pain and anguish because I've been there before so I know how you feel. You feel trapped, unhappy, desperate, scared out of your mind, hopeless, and helpless. But please know that this situation is just temporary it will change I promise you. It will change one way or the other you know what I'm saying. Just try to keep your wits about you know in your heart and soul that you are not the problem and that your mother is and try your best to get through this time in your life and out the other side of this situation. At least you and your sister have each other to lean on and go through this with each other I had no one but myself. I had a sister but she was in no way the target and shows to ignore everything by sticking her nose in a book and acts like it didn't even happen to me even now today. I no longer speak with my sister because she's done a lot of things recently to hurt me including stealing from me and talking about me behind my back but that's okay I'll get over it. One day she'll be a very very lonely person because she doesn't have any friends. I've always made friends a lot easier than she has she's an introvert and I'm an extrovert and people gravitate more towards me then towards her because she projects negative energy. I am who I am Take Me or Leave Me I'm not going to change for anyone. My sister has chosen to become very unhappy miserable and negative and I cannot spend time around that sort of person because I suffer from depression and only one positivity in my life going forward. I hope that you and your sister will continue to be close and support one another because that's what you need to do. Protect one another be there for each other you and your sister are all you have right now so continue to stick up for one another remain close and love one another that is the most important thing for you to do right now. Wishing you well against the current you will get through this I promise. Peace and love to you.

[Against_the_current in reply to Cookie2217]

I'm crying. My sister passes me by like a shadow. What I've become