about me

[Kovoo]

I just turned 60 years old, and it hit me like a damn freight train.

My live in fiancee of 11 years and I split up forever.

A few weeks later, my service dog went completely lame , and I was forced to euthanize him, truly among the worst day of my life.

Now, I live alone, my family is 1,000 miles away, and they have their own issues - son has a new baby daughter, sister has health issues, my daughter has a 10, a 6 and a 1 year old boy.

Sooooo, I’m trying to put the jigsaw puzzle of my life back together.

[Downinil]

Hi Kovoo! Sorry for all of your losses. Crossroads in life sure are unpleasant.

[Kovoo in reply to Downinil]

Thank you very much. I am hanging in there, working minute by minute through my life. Stay strong.

[Downinil in reply to Kovoo]

I try to take life one minute at a time. It helps me appreciate life in the present. Helps calm me but I have to keep reminding myself.

[Kovoo in reply to Downinil]

Yes, in a way, we take life minute by minute anyway, but most never realize it ( nobody can live 2, 5, 10 minutes at a time). The key, I think, is to notice that you are in that minute, and be thankful for it.

[Downinil in reply to Kovoo]

Isn’t that what Mindfulness meditation is based on or do I have that confused with something else?

[Kovoo in reply to Downinil]

You are correct. Hard to do , though, for me

[Midori in reply to Kovoo]

Yep, hitting 60 is a beast, although 16 years later it seems like ages ago! Disablement hits harder and friends and family are leaving for the next world. I found myself as the family Matriarch at 60, boy did I feel old! I have since realised that 60 is just another number.

I have a tee shirt which says 'I don't feel as if I'm getting older; It's just that my warranty has expired and bits of me keep wearing out!' 😃

Nowadays, every day is a bonus!

Cheers, Midori

[Arymretep in reply to Midori]

Yes 60 is young today, the new 40 👍

[Weatherwoman in reply to Midori]

Heck, you are a "babe in the woods," as far as I'm concerned as I turned 80 this June!!! Ha, bet nobody on this site is as "Old" as I am! But, yeah, I do get that 60 can feel as you wrote. I truly didn't feel Old till my Sig. Other got ill & passed away --that was almost two years ago! Also, many relatives have passed, and Good, dear friends of mine & my Sig. Others are no longer on Earth. It's not so much as our age, but the circumstances in our lives. Now, I live alone & family left plane flights away. Have few friends, and it's NOT easy --The "one day at a time," bit helps.

[Midori in reply to Weatherwoman]

I'm 76, still younger than you, I'm glad I'm not the senior here! For awhile I thought i was.

Cheers, Midori

[Weatherwoman in reply to Midori]

Not That much younger!!!

[MamasBlue]

I remember when I turned 60. It was scary as I suddenly realized I had more time behind me than ahead of me. You are also suddenly alone after a long term relationship. You will need family or a good group of friends to bond with, who are in a situation similar to yours. Ie no family nearby, single etc. think of your hobbies or what you enjoy doing. Find groups on Meetup where you can get together with like minded people. Don't spend too much time alone. Can you get another service dog? Please do if you can. An animal is the best company you can have.. unconditional love.

[ADHDgifts]

Hi just stopping by to send some care your way. I'm terribly sorry about your break up and loss of your dear dog (all at the same time too which is unbearable). Whatever you can do to breathe and find ways to take care of yourself (like never before -I'm 54 with a sophomore in high school so I'm guessing you've been taking care of family for many years) is crucial. I'm talking extreme self love, finding a counselor if possible, diving into projects or whatever might bring you peace. Finding ways to make new paths and meet others (community colleges have great non credit fun classes as an idea). The adventure is still on -a 11 year live in situation didn't provide a commitment either and it might be the universe's way of freeing you for what is next. Either way, please take your time to grieve both losses and at the same time nurture yourself.

[NanCeder5]

I’m sorry you’re going through those life struggles. I can relate in that I’ve been having issues occurring in my life simultaneously, and my nearest family is thousands and miles away as well. I’m also an only child, so everything‘s always isolating to me. I too felt a similar feeling of being blindsided by the events in my life hitting simultaneously. I wish I had some advice or helpful words, but I understand where you are coming from and you’re not alone. Everything seems to happen all at once, so hopefully things will settle down for you soon and the dust will clear

[Kinlay]

First of all, I am so sorry you are having such a rough period.

I strongly encourage you to apply for a new service dog IMMEDIATELY. That will help in so many ways. If for any reason you are no longer eligible for a service dog, consider adopting a cat or dog from your local shelter or rescue organization to keep you company. Having a pet has an incredibly positive impact on mood and mental health.

As for the live-in fiancé, I know it hurts, but THANK GOODNESS you never actually got married (and might that fact be something to consider as you reassess the relationship now that it's over?) because ending a marriage is complicated and costly - and often drags out, which adds more stress.

I know it's hard, but try to focus on the positive, whether it's not having to clean up after someone else or not having to take his wants and needs into consideration any more - most likely ahead of your own as most women tend to do.

Whether it's a nice walk, a good cup of coffee or tea, a show you like to watch, a great book, or a meal you really enjoy, focus on the moments in your day that bring you joy. If you don't already, try getting outside for at least 3o minutes a day and adding yoga or breathing exercises into your daily routine. Both can do wonders for our stress and anxiety levels.

I know you say your family is busy, but reaching out to them can be really helpful. Even if you only ask how THEY are doing and catch up with them in a brief call or video chat, it can lift your spirits. Is a visit or a move closer to them at all a possibility? This may be the perfect time to consider one or both. And think of other things you may have put off due to the relationship that you can now consider trying.

Most communities also have senior centers that offer everything from free meals to new friends and great activities. I encourage you to look into yours.

Most of all, hang in there and know that you are not alone!