Stuck in life

[Against_the_current]

I wonder whether to work and move out to dad's place but dad's place is ruined by the baby - paintings on the walls(when i did paintings they grounded me and now i have to pay and work and paint the walls), mold, cockroaches, ants, spiders. And idk if i can work. But at home i feel mom's emotions and i go anxious over the roof. My therapist said that if i don't want to move out, there's no point paying him just to vent and we should end our work

[gajh]

Oh no I am sorry that your therapist said that to you. That is not helpful at all. He should be supporting you.

[Against_the_current in reply to gajh]

Especially for the money he's getting

[gajh in reply to Against_the_current]

You just started with him recently didn't you?

[Against_the_current in reply to gajh]

I've had 6 sessions

[gajh in reply to Against_the_current]

Has he been helpful in any ways? I am reading through your other posts and replies right now. I want you to know that I care what you are going through.

[Against_the_current in reply to gajh]

Thanks. Well here are no helplines and i don't want to go through the pain of finding a new therapist but he just convinces me to move to the place dad's baby ruined and people get mad at me for calling it an animal. I want to break something

[gajh in reply to Against_the_current]

I can understand not wanting to find a new therapist. He should be helping you to make the decision and supporting you in whatever you decide. He shouldn't be forcing you to do something you don't want to do.

[Against_the_current in reply to gajh]

Exactly. I remember i have begged therapists for advice and they had said they're not allowed to influence my decision or give advice and he litterary gave me no choice

[casablancalover14]

I'm sorry, but what kind of doctor would say that to their patient? Maybe you should try to find a new therapist, and go from there. Keep your chin up.

[Against_the_current in reply to casablancalover14]

Thank you. I picked him up because i was tired of Bulgarian therapists and he had studied and worked in Canada and the UK but he's just so full of himself

[casablancalover14 in reply to Against_the_current]

I hope you can get a handle on this, so you will be able to live a peaceful life. I would make a list of pros and cons, and start there. Once you make a decision, then hopefully your life will become a little easier for you. I'm always hear if you need someone to talk with.🤩🤩

[Against_the_current in reply to casablancalover14]

Thank you. I'm so overwhelmed

[MaggieSylvie]

He's right. You don't have to follow his advice, but if you're just going to use the therapist to vent, and go over the same stuff every time, you might as well do that with a friend and not have to pay them. A therapist should be helping you to move on with your life, but they can't do it for you. You have to do the work between sessions. If you can't move on, then at least work on making your life more pleasant in your current situation. You've got the training; you should know this. What would you say if you had yourself as a client?

[Against_the_current in reply to MaggieSylvie]

Yeah. Honestly i feel so incapable as a psychologist. I would focus on making my current place more comfortable and my self regulation. He kinda thinks i just can't live here, can't make it comfortable, can't self-regulate... Kinda rushed. I can't move out in this psychological state nor do the repairments and get a job to live alone

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Against_the_current]

You know it's so hard sometimes to convince ourselves that we can do something, but you have someone constantly telling you that you can't. You can't this, you can't that. This is not right because a therapist should tell you that you can and make you believe it. Stay strong, girl!

[Against_the_current in reply to MaggieSylvie]

Thank you. Exactly. My mom and my head as well

[Against_the_current in reply to MaggieSylvie]

I need to vent to stay sane but unfortunately i don't have friends since i graduated and even when i had they didn't want to listen to me vent

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Against_the_current]

I know. They must get vent-fatigue, and it's understandable, but the money that you need to take your life to the next level is getting spent on paying someone to vent to. I'm sure I'm not alone in thinking that if your therapist isn't helping you, you need to get out of your comfort zone and take those steps you need for your career, even if that means moving away.

You will be able to make your place comfortable, if not beautiful, while you concentrate on making enouugh money to live on. Then your creativity will surface and you will do whatever you feel is right with your furnishings, little by little. As with your state of mind.

[Against_the_current in reply to MaggieSylvie]

Thank you. Yeah, i feel bad especially when I don't have an income but i have no friends, no helplines, I'm just abused all day and at the end I'm trying to not k1ll my mom or myself. I want to cry and scream but i can't

[jjpeabody]

Dear Against_the_current, I believe you may be at a critical age and time in your life where it would be important to get out on your own so to speak and become independent. Sometimes staying with our parent(s) is counterproductive to our emotional growth. This may be what your therapist is suggesting. Good luck.

[Against_the_current in reply to jjpeabody]

Thank you. It's a critical age for real. Mom's age is also not getting better

[worthytobeloved]

Hi, gorgeous girl! I was surprised your therapist said that to you - it's not very kind. Perhaps you can make a list of the pros and cons of staying where you are, or moving to your dad's place.

Staying where you are would hopefully save money, and also you wouldn't be alone.

Moving to your dad's place could work, but could you cope with the bad repairs? Also, I think you said your uncle.and his family stay there once a year.

Best of luck, whatever you decide to do. xxx

[Against_the_current in reply to worthytobeloved]

Thank you. It saves money for now but I'm starting to buy things myself because mom's always broke and an alcoholic and i guess at some point it would be better to move out so my future salary goes for myself than mom's alcholism and babysitting her. Like rn i can't move out because i don't a job yet, is dirty and i need mom for company and household chores. But she's willing to get me a job and to get me in dad's place. I guess it will depend on the location of my future job. But also sis starts school and it will get wild. We all live in the same room and they will be yelling at 6am