Cautiously optimistic

My younger sister committed a murder/suicide when she was 27 years old. At the time, I had no emotional support from family. That could have been partly my fault. In order to deal with the loss, I walked for miles in order to feel better. I had trouble sitting in one place, and have had that same trouble ever since. I learned that moving around helped. Since that time, my work has been physical activity, even though I have an engineering degree. These days, the agoraphobia is mainly about going for medical visits. Ironic that something that is supposed to be healing and helpful causes this problem. Have always had ADHD even before the loss of my sister.

[Jane_Q_Public]

You're not alone. Sorry about what your sister did and your lack of support. I have agoraphobia, too. Not as bad as it used to be. Used to have to have a glass of wine to get up the nerve to go outside my apartment. Now, I just tense up in big crowds and have to sit with my back to the wall in restaurants. Hope you feel better.

[Hidden in reply to Jane_Q_Public]

Thank you for your considerate reply. I totally get it about the big crowds. Restaurants not so bad for me. At work, I used to ride in the bed of the pickup truck on the way out to the job, so I didn't have to be cooped up in the cab with the other guys. Can go to movies if I can sit in an aisle seat. I've learned how to avoid the situations that trigger the anxiety. But that' not living right. Got to be some way to solve this. Thanks again.

[Agora1 in reply to Jane_Q_Public]

Hi Jane Q Public, 5 years of my life lost to Agoraphobia.. I remember sitting with my back

to the wall in restaurants as well as waiting rooms. I didn't like people seated behind me.

I went from that to eventually being able to talk before a crowd. I use to pop that little

dose of xanax before going anywhere but eventually found that just checking my breathing

could do the same thing w/o any ill effects of tiredness. There's many of us in this

community for support and understanding. xx

[Agora1]

I am so truly sorry for your losses. Agoraphobia can come on when the brain gets

overwhelmed. Fear than begins to exist both outside and inside our home.

I'm happy to hear that for you, walking seems to have helped. The fear of going to the

doctor might be helped by listening to a tape or cd of relaxation meditation while waiting.

I find that it not only calms both the mind and the body but reduces the blood pressure

as well. With sympathy aardvark5

[Midori]

TW.

Hi Aardvark, Understand where you are coming from. My husband suicided and left me with 2 children, both under school age; a long time (33) years ago.

I'm now physically disabled and losing more confidence daily. Now I'm76, and winding down. I am less fit every day. I walk with a rollator, and even getting to the supermarket is a struggle, although I can see it from my window! I find it infuriating. I had undiagnosed CPTSD from the suicide, I wonder if you may have similar; as it wasn't recognised back then. I've had to become a bolshy old battleaxe to get past it.

You have reached a friendly, supportive community here, You are very welcome.

Can I ask you a favour though? Please can you lock your post to this community? It will help you get more replies as otherwise your information can get leaked.

Ask somebody on the moderating team to help you lock your post.

Cheers, Midori