All-day-long anxiety attack

[Against_the_current]

I don't even know what made it. Yesterday mom got her period and that made her drink more and b*tch more so i took a quetapine (my new med hedonin). I thought the anxiety today's caused by this med but I'm thinking she's cringing me out because tommorow I will travel with a friend. I need to get out of here! Sadly that friend is male and she's cringing me out. I understand being worried but she's causing me serious panic attacks which make me drug myself and if something really happens, i won't react. I'm really not interested in him or in anyone (try having libido on quetamine and all the meds I'm on and with the wound of my father and her, also i can't describe to her that I'm not straight. I tried many times but she just thinks i will get pregnant or kidnapped and forced and this gives me the worst panic attacks). If i get a red flag, i will leave immediately. But i have to be calm to do it because when I'm under stress, i can't think and I'm tired of telling her that. Stressing me out won't make me more aware. I'm so burnt out from stress. I want to cry but im too numb to. She doesn't realise she's ruining me. "I'm worried about you" then stop giving me reasons to su1cide and seek support and shelter from friends and of course some of them are male. None of my female friends remembered my birthday even though they get a notification about it on all social media and i had stories, notes and stuff saying it's my birthday. They didn't care. I'm stuck with the only person who cares and who would get me away from mom for a few days. If she wasn't stressing me out, i wouldn't even be talking with boys (I'm scared of them since i was bullied in school so you know I'm cautious).

[Alpakka123]

Hi AtC,

How was your birthday?

[Against_the_current in reply to Alpakka123]

Kinda normal. Thanks for asking. Unfortunately i can't spend my gifted money on gifts because im saving to move out and because i was scammed

[Alpakka123 in reply to Against_the_current]

You're welcome. I'm sorry you were scammed. Is everything okay?

[Against_the_current in reply to Alpakka123]

No, mom called me on my holiday and ruined it

[Alpakka123 in reply to Against_the_current]

Your mom scammed you by calling you?

[Against_the_current in reply to Alpakka123]

No, it's complicated and im tired as hell

[Alpakka123 in reply to Against_the_current]

I'm sure it is (not being facetious here). In fact, I know it is.Plese take care! I've been wiped out all day as well. I'll say it's complicated, so I know what you mean.

[Against_the_current in reply to Alpakka123]

Exactly. I feel so wiped out

[Alpakka123 in reply to Against_the_current]

I bet you do. Can you get some relaxation in today?