Exhausted

[Stelladoglover]

I am so tired of feeling a constant state of dread and overwhelming sadness and hopelessness. Especially because I don’t necessarily have anything to be sad about. I go to therapy, feel like a lab rat with all of the medications I’ve tried over the years that don’t work. All I want to do is be asleep but I don’t want to go to sleep knowing I’ll eventually have to wake up and my own thoughts will be there to ruin my day again. I have no motivation. No drive. The thought of simply replying to a text message gives me anxiety. I just can’t live like this anymore. I want to feel happiness

[Agora1]

Hi Stelladoglover, What we want and need and what we get are two different things.

As long as our mind keeps expecting the same results day in and day out, nothing will

change. We go to bed worrying about waking up to the same scenario and so that's

what we get.

Right now, you seem to be caught in a repeated cycle of hopelessness and overwhelming

sadness. The constant state of dread is wearing on the body and the mind.

With the help of your therapist, maybe you can try breaking this cycle and step out of

your comfort zone. (Yes, even sadness, hopelessness and no motivation can become

comforting in a bizarre way) We don't like the unexpected or changes, so sometimes

our mind stays in the same pattern knowing how we will wake up and go through our

day.

Welcome Stella to your first step towards some caring support and hopefully answers.

We may not be therapist or doctors but have learned through our own experiences

as we share them with others who struggle as well. xx

[Stelladoglover in reply to Agora1]

I appreciate your insight very much and am so thankful you reached out. Everything you said makes sense. As I was telling another group member, I don’t plan on giving up and I want to keep trying to better myself everyday. Thank you for shining some light on what I feel is a dark situation. Bless you!

[BrainIsFull]

I understand your feelings. Depression/anxiety are horrible to have to live with. I understand wanting nothing more than to sleep.

I've dealt with these conditions since childhood. It got so bad. I didn't want to live any more. But I never gave up. I have tried just about every medication, have done endless amounts of therapy, etc

I finally found a therapist who helped me tremendously and little by little I was able to claw my way out of the hole I was in. 🙂

I'm 58 now and I am in a brand new phase of life. It's been very complicated and confusing and I am experiencing some turbulence again which is a real drag. But even though I am having increased symptoms of depression and anxiety again, I see that I have developed some resilience. So I am going to keep on fighting.

I hope that you will too. There IS hope.

I'm glad that you found this forum.💚💚💚

[Stelladoglover in reply to BrainIsFull]

Thank you so much for sharing part of your story. It always helps to know you’re not alone which is why I joined this group! I’m glad you’ve overcome so much. I hope to do the same and don’t plan on giving up. Thank you for being a bright light in my dark day

[BrainIsFull in reply to Stelladoglover]

Hi🌞

You are very welcome! Sometimes it's helpful just knowing that there is someone else out there who is thinking about you.💚

[funnychocolate]

I feel like all you said is exactly how I am "coping" except I am a lot older. Get help so you don't end up like me at the other end of the age continuum

[Stelladoglover in reply to funnychocolate]

I hope you can continue to grow and get stronger no matter the age. I feel your pain and wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Hang in there. Brighter days are coming

[Joseph46]

What you described feels like what I am experiencing now. I find every day is an emotional roller coaster. I find myself seeking “happiness” but I honestly don’t know what would make me happy anymore - I’m 46 and I recently stopped all alcohol and last October I stopped escitalopram after 10 years.

What I have been trying is to be mindful and grateful (I know it’s not easy) - I manage to get through my days and sleep at night. I am starting to dread mornings because that is when it seems I’m at my lowest, first thing in the morning.

[BrainIsFull in reply to Joseph46]

Mornings are the absolute worst for me. Even when I am feeling really good, mornings are difficult on at least some level. I was doing a 2 minute morning meditation for awhile. It's a podcast. I stopped doing it 🤷🏼‍♀️ Maybe I could start again. Maybe something like that would be good for you?

But I have to say that for you to have quit drinking AND taking escitalopram (after 10 years!) you are doing great. I hope that you can give yourself credit.