i’m tired. tired of not having motivation to do anything, tired of not having any passions and goals, tired of feeling numb, tired of being depressed. everyday is a battle for me and i don’t see myself getting any better. people around me keep putting me down and i feel like i’m drowning and no one is saving me. i want to cry but i don’t even have the energy to cry. i just wanted someone to hold me and tell me everything’s gonna be alright. i don’t want solutions, i want empathy. everyday i have to wake up and act as if i’m completely normal and alright when i’m not but people don’t care if i’m alright.. at the end of the day “life is hard and we just gotta push through”.. i’m afraid i will never get any better, maybe i’m destined to suffer.
I’m exhausted : i’m tired. tired of not... - Anxiety and Depre...
I’m exhausted
Excuse my French but you have to “Not give a f*<€” about what other people think or say nor wait for someone else to save or comfort you. Really try to focus strictly on yourself first. Just by reading your post I notice almost every statement end with something about others. Speaking from experience... that is no good in the process of healing oneself. I was always a people pleaser and that was part of what brought on my depression and anxiety. I worried toooo much about everyone else and not enough about myself. Now that I have become more SELFISH I have been able to handle life so much easier.
i appreciate your comment. it’s true, i need to focus on myself but that’s difficult when all of this started bc of problems in my own family so i can’t really escape other people’s toxicity, especially not in my family, which is worse.
Why can't you escape it? How old are you?
i’m 20, i still live with my parents bc i want to finish school
get a support pet? maybe you can go to a park or somewhere peaceful to get some alone time...or join a rl support group or other club where you might meet people who aren't toxic...there are nice people here..there are nice people in your world too
Namu, it sounds as if your 'toxic' family problems have left you with nervous exhaustion. This has reached the stage where you feel completely depleted.
You shouldn't have to put up with unkind behaviour from family members or anybody else and you should tell the guilty individuals (in no uncertain terms) what a bad effect they are having on you.
If they persist then seek an alternative place to live or work, you have no responsibility for people who treat you so badly.
When the situation is resolved you will cease to be so nervously depleted and everything will be fine for you.
Don't try too hard to win the approval of people who keep putting you down. Someone once said: "Don't seek the admiration of others, instead deserve it, and if it isn't given dismiss them as fools."
you’re very right and i really want to leave this place and go live by myself.. the thing is i’m still studying and if i wanna have a degree i have to stay at my parents house for a while or else i have to give up my future and work on a job i dislike just to pay for my bills.. i almost did that but i realized that no matter what i won’t let them destroy my future, but it’s getting harder living in this place with my so called “family” that instead of supporting me has mistreated me for so long
I understand Namu, you're right to take the long term view but if life becomes intolerable get out anyway. Many people have earned a decent living without a degree. In the u.k. you can get a loan from the government for living expenses while studying and the cost of the studying, you repay it only when you reach a certain level of income and over many years. Nothing like that in the u.s. of a. I suppose or is there?
i’m not sure if that exists here and i live in europe btw! i mean you do have a point but i don’t think i could do that at least for now. i made so many sacrifices for my studies, i almost gave it all up bc of them and my depression but i pushed through and now giving it all up now bc of them angers me so much..
How much longer do you have in school?
like 1 year and a half
That may seem like forever but it will go by fast.
If you can't get out of the environment do whatever it takes to finish that degree.
Stay away from them as much as you can. Stay at school, study there.
that’s why i’ve been trying to hold on, since i only have like a year left but i’m afraid my depression might get worse and that i won’t be able to finish it. i’ll try my best tho
I understand. I lived in a toxic environment.
Keep coming here for people to talk to.
thank you for your comment. i appreciate you. honestly, i don’t have anything i’m interested in.. the only thing i can say i enjoy is listening to music and keeping up with my favorite artists but that’s sth i do on a daily basis so it’s not like i have to work for it or something. i try multiple things but i can never finish it due to the lack of motivation and lack of self esteem.. idk what to do at this point
i played the transverse flute for 6 years in an orchestra, although classical music is not my favorite genre, i really loved playing classical music but i haven’t played in years and again, i don’t have the motivation to start over again
I'm a fan of music myself. Not playing music - no skills in that area, at all - but simply listening and researching bands I like, the type of music they play, etc. I'm more of a rock fan from the 60's through the 90's type of music. If that gets your attention then I'm more than glad to discuss music with you sometime. If you're anywhere near Florida I'd give you a hug. Go for a walk. Get a bite to eat. And just chat, talk about whatever. A friend like me. I think I could make a change in your family lifestyle. Sociopaths have a way with people. I've had 63 yrs. to hone that skill.
what about joing a group on meetup.com maybe there is one that goes to see classical music performed
not really, i’m still studying so i either give up my studies and go live by myself or keep studying while staying here.. it’s actually more complicated than that, my dad is an alcoholic so i basically live surrounded by violence and emotional abuse all the time.. i managed to live through it all these years but last year depression hit me hard and life became even worse for me
i isolated myself from everyone so i don’t even know if rly have friends anymore.. plus some of them told me i was victimizing myself when i had the courage to tell them i was suffering from depression and that hurt me a lot so i don’t trust them like that anymore. yeah i know, difficult situation.
thank you for your kindness.. you’re right and i know i need to take small steps at a time but people around me put so much pressure on me and want me to accomplish things i can’t at the moment.. at this point for me just getting out of the house and go for a walk is like a huge accomplishment for me while for them it’s nothing, you know? the people around me play a huge role too and it’s hard to get better when everything around u is so toxic and painful.. i’ll try tho, thank you.
i guess so.. thank you so much, it means a lot. i hope you’re feeling alright
I feel your pain. I have come to the conclusion that I will never be the person I was before. 🙍😢
same, it’s kinda sad bc i used to be so bright and joyful. i was never necessary happy all the time, but i would be that person in the group who would make others and myself laugh a lot and now.. here we are.
I care. God cares.
It's so very hard when family is so toxic. The negative energy they give to others and the environment, causes more depression and anxiety. I find meditation really helps. Toxic people and the chaos they cause takes everything out of you. Clear your mind, meditate and breath. Focus on the beautiful person you are, and all the wonderful things you will accomplish. Don't let anything stand in your way. You got this❤
thank you for your kindness. 💜 being depressed is terrible already but when you have toxic family that instead of supporting u, bring u down.. it’s worse.
You dont know how much exhausted I am myself. I honestly think if it wasnt for my children I would probrally careless about staying afloat. But i cant just look at that as an excuse to stay above water, it's much more then that to me. Life ain't always gonna be a walk in the park. Every single man and woman is gonna go through a road block sometime in their life. I dont care whether rich or poor the healthy and the brave. We will all have something that will bring us down. Unfortunately for me its anxiety. But what's the difference with anxiety and someone with cancer or someone with heart desease. There isnt any difference actually . They are all caused for concern even as much as somebody who's gonna lose their home or their jobs even their family. Everything in life can cause a road block. But we live and we learn.
I bet a person with anxiety for so many years can actually be a doctor from all the classes they took looking up stuff on google. ..
I want the same thing you want and it doesnt seem to play a part of my life at the moment. But I'm sure your time will come when you will get these comforts of having someone to hold or hold you. Right now the only person gonna hold me is the damn cops if these damn neighbors dont stop putting their nose in my buisness .
Some nosy ass neighbors always gotta know what I'm doing. I heard of neighborhood watch but nothing about neighborhood stocking..
Anyways how the hell did I just change the subject. ..weird
i’m glad you see your children as motivation, you have someone to care about and to teach but don’t forget yourself! take care of yourself, try to do activities that you enjoy, go for a walk, appreciate the nature, and just do things that make you feel like life is worth it. treat yourself. i wish you the best for you and your family
Thank you, 🙏
It's helpful as the person may wonder why they didn't get a response
I remember doing that a couple times when I first came here.
It took me forever to figure out what Hidden meant though. You are smarter than me 
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