hello

[Psychosis1995]

Unbiasedly, Are you a gay person if you’ve had like a few 2-3 gay sexual experiences/encounters as a kid by accident (seconds) (self inflicted) or by molestation but ever since then not had the desire or are even grossed out deeply of that behavior and only have desire for sexual experiences with women. Also I have 0 sexual desire or ever thought about a male in anyway sexual way whatsoever and only seek brotherhood 28 now

[So_It_Goes]

‼️TRIGGER WARNING: childhood sexual content‼️

hi-

Am I correct in assuming you’re a male? Just for the context of your question-

Sexuality is a spectrum, labels like “gay” or “straight” are really simplistic and unhelpful for a lot of people whose attraction is more fluid (ex- you can be attracted to both sex, you could not experience sexual attraction, your attraction to someone could be based purely on an emotional level regardlesss of gender).

A lot of people experiment with individuals of the same gender and identify as heterosexual (straight).

That being said, being molested as a child by an individual of the same sex says nothing about the victim’s sexual preference— it’s abuse.

It’s common for people who have been molested by individuals of the same sex, esp in childhood, to question their sexuality regardless of who they are attracted to bc they have had that same sex experiences.

You define your own sexuality. But if you want a more concrete answer- you are not gay because you are not attracted sexually to men. It doesn’t matter if you’ve had same sex experience, if you don’t feel an attraction to the same sex, you are straight.

I encourage you, if you haven’t already, to seek out a therapist, preferably someone who has experience working with childhood sexual abuse survivors (and the lgtbq community could also be helpful- they have more knowledge about sexual and gender identities and are more capable in addressing your concerns if the main one is if you’re a gay or straight person).

Wishing you the best & hope you get the help and support you deserve

✌🏻❤️⚡️

[Psychosis1995 in reply to So_It_Goes]

and unbiasedly what if you were the inflictor like once or twice as I can recall for a few seconds as a kid (shamefully)

[Psychosis1995 in reply to So_It_Goes]

to a sibling

[Psychosis1995 in reply to So_It_Goes]

yes male

[So_It_Goes]

First- I see that you are new here, and as the subject you are discussing is of a sensitive nature, it would be really helpful for you to place a trigger warning in the subject of your post— so that those who may have experienced something similar are aware that the content may trigger some trauma reactions.

What I would suggest is renaming the post. Instead of “hello” I would put “‼️trigger warning- post includes non-consensual childhood sexual activity”

[Psychosis1995 in reply to So_It_Goes]

Yeah I know it’s a very sensitive topic to me especially but yeah u right

[Dolphin14 in reply to Psychosis1995]

Please add that trigger warning as suggested

🐬

[MadBunny in reply to So_It_Goes]

Good suggestion Thank you .

[Psychosis1995]

No it wasn’t exactly like that too

[Psychosis1995]

rape is an aggressive word

[Psychosis1995]

and I’m saying this unbiasedly I’m absolutely disgusted and suicidal about it it took me years to accept even as an adult

[So_It_Goes in reply to Psychosis1995]

Please see my response below—

if you are actively suicidal you need to go to your nearest emergency room.

Calling “988” is also an option, it is a crisis hotline (please be aware that there have been members on this site have not had the most positive experiences with this but that does not mean it isn’t a viable resource)

[secrets22 in reply to Psychosis1995]

You may be disgusted, but suicidal i don't get. So are you saying all gay people are disgusting and bad, if so i would remind you that not all straight people are good, in fact a great number aren't.?

[So_It_Goes]

****My comments are a reflection of my own personal beliefs. This is in NO WAY the advice of a mental health professional****

I think that this is really brave of you to discuss, I imagine that it isn’t easy and probably brings up some uncomfortable emotions, so you should be proud of yourself for taking this step.

The scenario you are presenting has a lot of important facets besides sexual orientation that I think would be extremely important to speak with a professional about.

Sexual assault is not about sexual attraction for either party involved. Sexual orientation (gay, straight, bisexual, asexual, ect) is about who you are or are not attracted to regardless of your past sexual experiences.

I feel that speaking to a mental health professional is extremely important, not just to discuss your confusion over sexual attraction but your childhood experiences. I feel like you would benefit from the support offered in a safe place with a professional.

Again, I think it is a really big step to acknowledge and start to address these concerns and I would encourage you to reach out to a professional, if you aren’t seeing one already, that could provide you with the support you need and deserve while processing these experiences.

If you need assistance in finding a provider, you can contact your insurance provider for help or do an internet search.

Know that you are not alone. There are others who have had similar experiences. One website catering to the concerns of an individual in your role is:

siblingsexualtrauma.com/off...

***Again, none of this is in any way a substitute for professional counseling, it is strictly peer to peer advice***

[Dolphin14 in reply to So_It_Goes]

Thank you for removing that

Someone else may come by with more help to offer

[Dolphin14]

I'm confused

Why are you telling people they shouldn't respond? What if they have help to offer

🐬

[Psychosis1995]

I guess technically it was consensual through coercion as a kid but I was molested previously by this guy before this happened as well. And also my brother is like me he isn’t gay and we’re cool but it took a while to accept and we had a stage where we wouldn’t talk

[Psychosis1995]

like me and him have had ex girlfriends and girls that we’ve slept with it’s just mind boggling yknow it makes you wanna just kill yourself and it’s disgusting and disgraceful

[secrets22]

I really don't know how to respond to this in an articulate way because i don't really get what your saying, as it happens i am gay but i was abused by a woman when i was very young, something which upset me at the time, but today i don't even think of it unless i am reminded like today reading your post. And i certainly never felt i wanted to kill myself, horrible yes, but it's not a death sentence. It was an encounter i could have done without, but in no way has it ruined my life.