I will go to my hostel because mom has a free week but im scared

[Against_the_current]

if she likes being alone so much that she doesn't want me to come back. I don't even know how i will survive there.Or if she goes insane alone.

I'm leaving in Monday and im worried if mom likes being alone so much that she doesn't let me in or if she hates it that she gets drunk or something

Or if sis comes back and im just overthinking and im the only one who suffers and it's high time to come home for final and get a therapist (i don't have money) and a psychiatrist (idk if i can manage new meds) and try to recover so i don't spend the rest of my life being mom's wife(another post about which therapist to choose). I woke up and I started overthinking.

Idk which therapist to choose. And i thought i don't think about my ex since he blocked me but i started getting dreams and dreams is when i unlock a new ptsd. Damn so much thinking and nothing. I'm so stuck. This has to be a summer in my 20s not being alone and agonising in hell

[SoporRose]

I hope your decision turns out for the best. Do what you can to take care of yourself.