I'm literally reading a book and "what kind of dramas are you doing? I don't feel like drinking water in the world, the other day you told me that you can't sleep because of the smell. Dramas. Long-suffering Genoveva. I was making a zvik (Berk's cooling drink with the smelliest ingredients vinegar, garlic, etc., but I know what it smelled like, but I didn't tell her). First I'm going around to save myself this and because when I come back it's "too soon you come back and that", second what am I doing wrong? I don't do drugs outside or anything, I can't enter our house because a scandal awaits me. I went home because I was sick and it didn't register at all. I feel nauseous and wake up again in the middle of the night. I'm going crazy. I didn't even talk to her, but I'm starting a scandal because I'm starting a scandal. I don't know what to do anymore. All I had left was ..... And she will regret it. I'm constantly nauseous. I needed to go home, I couldn't look at myself, and that. I need a nice place to live and a nice job. But how to do it, how to be useful to her and to anyone like me, I have no chance to recover. I'm constantly nauseous. I am freaking out. I have been listening to those long-suffering Genovese, holy waters undrinked and "dramas" all my life. And my sister isn't even home. I need someone. My internal organs are dying and imploding. I writhe in agony. Every evening.
Mom's drama: I'm literally reading a... - Anxiety and Depre...
Mom's drama
Fauxartist,
Wow: your post is courageous and clarifying. It sounds as if this process is what AtC needs to find her through. I hope your experience helps her find her way. Thank you.
I lost identity. God, u keep zoning out and it feels like like i can't understand a word. I just don't know how to be my own parent. And i got a thought of my ex that was in drugs
Fauxartist will correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe the point is to teach you to regain your own identity and how to re-parent yourself.
Will you tell us what you are willing to try, to do to help yourself? It seems as if all suggestions and resources anyone suggests are wrong. We care about you and want to help.
Thank you. Yes i need to parent myself and love myself and regain and recover but idk how. Im just a scared kid in my head
Of course you don't know how. That's why therapists and groups like Al-Anon or ACOA exist. You're not supposed to have all the answers now. Your job is to find a counselor (not a fortune teller) who and/or a group that can help and stick with it. I'm not forgetting that money is an issue, but keep looking. Get on wait lists for therapists if there are no openings. Start a dog-walking/pet-sitting business. Make and sell art. Start a blog and use your humour to attract readers, then set up a Patreon. Tutor kids who are studying English. Do some translating again.Make your goal to earn enough money to pay your mom some rent and pay for a therapist and worry about getting a "career" kind of job later. You have so many talents and gifts!
I thought about petsitting but I've only taken care of rabbits and guinea pigs and i know nothing about dogs and cats. How to start a blog? In my country it's not really common and we're oblivious on these ways
Ask your dad the vet about learning to care for other pets! He’s the perfect resource. Even if he didn’t respond to exactly the way you r want, get as much information from him as you can.
There’s lots of information on the internet about how to start a blog. Google or YouTube are great resources. If you start pet sitting, you can write about those experiences with your signature humour!
He wants me to work in my field. I'm scared. Mom's her old self, being terrible, drunk, unsensetive and triggering me
I see. It’s great information.
makes sense… if we always do what we always did we’ll always get what we always got.
I think you just won the "how many always can I fit into one sentence" prize.😂
I've always said that I’ve always stood a good chance at winning; always!
And it should probably be mentioned, too, that there really isn’t a cookie cutter solution for reparenting due to the many differing factors that exist in each circumstance. As well, comorbidity may complicate matters even more. It creates this second layer (and maybe more) of “disorder" to our already dysfunctional selves and environment. I think the quest for recovery for people who were raised in dysfunctional family systems can be very different for each individual depending on factors like; the types of dysfunction, types of personalities, the presence of clinically diagnosed disorders and which diagnoses, the presence of disorder in the parents and which diagnoses, etc. Also, the family’s racial profile should be considered, social status, political and religious doctrines, etc….
These things can make a huge difference in the way a person experiences their unique and not so unique challenges in life. In a nutshell… it can be very different to experience social anxiety as a white christian male living in a predominantly white christian society as opposed to a black muslim male living in a predominantly white christian society.
Trauma Informed Care considers many factors that can influence how someone is affected by life’s events. Each person truly is unique to their circumstance; and so each solution should be unique to their circumstance, as well.
This is why it is so important to get the help of a skilled therapist. Simply, they are trained on being mindful of external and internal stimuli and the effects it can have on a person’s experience.
Exactly. I want to heal but i have my whole disfunctional and sick family who doesn't want to heal, poor East European region where drinking and divorce is considered normal and mental health care is beyond criticism and every normal professional here who tries to speak up gets silenced. It's easy for people to tell me to get my sh** toghether as Americans or west European, living outside the dysfunction. I'm just agonising and cycling. Just keeping on swimming in circles
It takes a lot of courage to step away from one’s family… takes a lot of pain and suffering to find the courage. Have you ever considered online therapy with a therapist from another country?
I have been. I got some months on BetterHelp. My first therapist gave up, my second said it's better to see someone in person. I had one that just helped me because she felt generous but the sessions were limited and i can't pay for more. I also had some great time on Innsightful but it's for university students and i graduated
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