Feeling such a failure lately...ADHD

[secrets22]

I am feeling totally useless and broken and do not know what to do.

Some of the most mundane tasks are such a battle, when i see everyone using their mobile phones , pictures and videos ,and there is me, impossible to master a damn phone, its like a mental block comes over me. I did have someone showing me the ins and outs but it didn't fully register, and to be honest no one really wants to give me enough time.

Even my large garden, which used to give me so much pleasure i now find a chore, i never shirk from hard work, but right now i do , i have cut down trees and shrubs to a manageable height, but i'm not happy with my efforts, so much so i have contacted someone to help me, if they have time, and i realise i can no longer handle so much work., its beaten me. I really just want it all to end, i'm tired.😭

[Audiomarc1]

Hi Roddy. I'm so sorry you're struggling. I struggle quite often with mundane tasks as well. What is it with phones and computers that I can't figure out anymore. It used to come so easy but now... it's become nearly impossible. When I feel really useless I go to my old standby...my wonderful stereo system which plays such beautiful music and most always brings me immediate pleasure. What brings you immediate pleasure. Please try to figure that out and lean on it during these trying times. I'll pray for your happiness my friend. Take care and please stay safe. Marc.

[secrets22 in reply to Audiomarc1]

Thank you Marc, its so good to know you ,and i'm heartened to know there are others like me. But like you i find music such a help. ✌️

[Arymretep]

Hi there so sorry that you are struggling, you won’t believe it but my mobile is about ten years old which cost £10 from a well known supermarket lol. I can just about manage this, yet I’m on my I.pad all day 🤔. I bought a newer phone but no good.

My nieces suggested going to computer/phone lessons They do them in lots of places,

Maybe a handy man to help with the heavy work is a good idea, and then you can just keep it tidy in between, take care

[secrets22 in reply to Arymretep]

Thank you ,Its very strange because i am on my desktop computer all day and its no problem at all, but with the mobile no good at all. But regarding the garden i have just found someone who will give me a few hours.

[jonrogers930 in reply to secrets22]

Wait, you mentioned being find with tablets and computers, but a phone is basically just a tablet with a much smaller screen right?

So what aspects of use are you struggling with specifically? Or am I being dense and if so sorry...

[secrets22 in reply to jonrogers930]

I am very aware that the phone is basically a much smaller screen, but the mind and brain is a complex entity which doesn't always do what's needed, i can't explain it, but it's very real.

[secrets22 in reply to jonrogers930]

Just an update I recently mentioned , ADHD on a national newspaper and this is a reply i received. ''Join the club, I work in IT yet now I have bought a smartphone and just can't cope with it, only gets used to make calls out as cheaper, can't handle incoming and other stuff, I find the camera very hard to use when I can find it, I used to use SLR's and large format, had my own darkroom, I used to design and build computers for business clients, install networks on servers I had built, set it all up and teach others yet I can't cope with a silly smartphone.''

[corgi_fan817]

Sorry to hear you are struggling. Don't feel bad about the phone thing. I struggle too (can't remember my password to download apps!). Like you, I get some struggles with the seemingly simple stuff sometimes. Like today, I am going to work remotely since I just getting over COVID. Have anxiety about all of the things I have to do today even though I know how to resolve them. Overwhelmed. I just have to take one thing at a time, and it should work out in the end.

[secrets22 in reply to corgi_fan817]

thank you, overwhelmed is the word. So sorry you recently had covid, that wretched illness is never going away, and it pulls you down.

[jonrogers930 in reply to corgi_fan817]

Maybe some of these might help for your phone issues?

* Pick a "master password" you will use for iCloud or Google Accounts.

* Write this down and keep it locked in a very safe place for in case you forget it.

* Use iCloud Keychain (for Safari) or Google's Chrome password manager for EVERYTHING else. Let the phone (or tablet/laptop) do that work for you. It's far more secure anyway.

* Why is it ever asking you for a password anyway? On modern iPhones, you just double-tap the side button and use Face ID when downloading apps. When unlocking your phone, you should use a PIN once a day for iPhones (follow the above and write this down somewhere) and then use Face ID. (Android works basically the same, I think)

Nice one ending on a high note as well. Sounds like you just had a wobble but you're back on track now.

[hypercat54]

Hi secrets. Its much harder usually when we are older to get the hang of new technology. I find the same thing now. I find myself saying sorry to my long dead parents for laughing at them about it.

Having said that I was reading your previous post with awe that anyone could work all day doing such hard work in your garden. I am still envious as couldn't imagine even being able to start such a job now.

Don't put yourself down and I am sure you did an amazing job. Try congratulating yourself for that rather than berate yourself for it not being perfect.

Look for the positives to counter the negatives. The start of healing is to stop looking inward so much and criticising ourselves, but to look outward and acknowledge what a great job you did.

Would a friend be as hard on you as you are? No way.

[secrets22 in reply to hypercat54]

Thank you, funny thing is i do a lot of business on my desktop computer, but the mobile just foxes me.

[Williams3lw]

I don't want it to end for you. We need help. Its OK. I need help just functioning everyday. I ask for help. We are loved here. I'm here to listen if you need friend.

[secrets22 in reply to Williams3lw]

Thank you so much.

[Stilltrying2]

Secrets,

I am sorry that you are struggling. It is never easy to admit that we can no longer do all the things we used to do. For some of us it is also difficult to ask others for help. Please try to realize that every one of us sometimes need help. There is no shame in that.

[secrets22 in reply to Stilltrying2]

Thank you, the problem is there used to be two of us dealing with our business and our huge garden, and now its just me, and after 4 and a half years i now realise i must delegate some of the work.

[Shnookie]

Please don’t feel like a failure. I have ADHD. It’s no shame having someone help you cut down your trees. View it as having a life coach. Life Coache are hired by people in the ADHD community. Try to write things down. I’m a concierge/receptionist at a Senior living community. When I started this job 2 years ago I was lost. I started keeping notes of everything and crossed out my tasks as I went along. There is also an ADHD HU site. Good luck

[secrets22 in reply to Shnookie]

Thank you, but i cannot find ADHD here on HU?

[Dolphin14 in reply to secrets22]

healthunlocked.com/search/c...

🐬

[Shnookie in reply to Dolphin14]

Thank you so much my friend for the assistance

[secrets22 in reply to Dolphin14]

Thank you , much appreciated.

[hannah1987b]

keep going! You are doing amazing!! Xx

[Vasiliki99]

sorry your in pain it is sad life on earth thats what i have been thinking today it is sad it is difficult it is painful it is what it is -------life is not a walk in the park .....................but we are in the boat