Recurrent Anxiety & Depression

[CalmSeeker1]

I haven't been here in a while and felt the need to visit and share. I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for months now. I've been on disability two separate times since Sept due to the severity of symptoms. I've completed an 8 week Intensive Outpatient Program and am set to return to work in little over a week. I had a few weeks recently where I was doing really well. Then my psychiatrist made a medication change that has caused insomnia and increased symptoms of depression and anxiety. I'm sick of the constant lack of stability, the emotional roller coaster ride, and not feeling like myself. I had the brief period of feeling better and being hopeful and now it has come crashing down and I'm having a hard time coping and regaining hope or belief that this will resolve. Fortunately I slept well last night for the first time in a while so I'm feeling a little better today which is why I'm able to coherently write. I appreciate this forum and the support that everyone provides each other. Thank you.

[Spiritanimal]

Hi CalmSeeker,

I can really relate to how you are feeling. I quit my job 6 months ago due to stress, and my depression and anxiety have still been way out of control since then in spite of therapy and med changes. When you describe being exhausted from riding the emotional roller coaster and hopeless that it will ever get better, you took the words right out of my mouth. For me, not being able to sleep amplifies the mood swings!

I will say that I am holding on to the belief that there is an ebb and flow to all aspects of my life and I can recognize the moments of peace. I’m working on allowing and recognizing the emotional pain when it comes and trying to tell myself that I am capable of handling it and that it will come to an end (or at least, there will be moments of peace). A pattern I am recognizing within myself is that I’ll often have one very painful day followed by one not as painful day. Do you notice any moments of peace in your day, even when you are having a very painful day?

❤️ SpiritAnimal

[CalmSeeker1 in reply to Spiritanimal]

Hello Spiritanimal,Yes I do have moments of peace and better days at times. Thank you for your kind words and the reminder to recognize those moments of peace. I really appreciate your response!

[Charlie-mg]

Hi Calmseeker1,

I remember going through medication changes. It does seem like two steps backwards and can put you in a tailspin of overthinking and frustration. Most people need several weeks to level out after a change so go easy on yourself. Feel the feels and try to let it all be.

I think there’s always some anticipation anxiety about returning back to work when you’ve become accustomed to being home and being on a different schedule. It’s that feeling of ‘here comes more stress’’ that plays out in the back of our minds which is so unhelpful and hard to control.

Try to focus on deep breathing, self care, and distractions/hobbies that put you in your comfort zone. Remind yourself that it’s okay to not feel okay and that this to shall pass.

So glad you were able to get a good nights sleep. Wishing you all the best.

[CalmSeeker1]

Hi Charlie mg,Thank you so much for your response normalizing my feelings. I also needed the reminder that it's ok to feel this way and focus on self care. Much appreciation for the support!