I'm going Bowling

[EricJones]

I'm really nervous about going bowling...with strangers around me...I don't want to fixate on strangers while I'm there or cause a scene...due to my anxiety. I also don't want strangers to notice I'm awkward or think that that I'm different do to my body language...some support would be appreciated. Thanks!

[Dolphin14]

Eric

Sending support your way.

Focus on the strikes. 🎳🎳

Try and enjoy yourself

🐬

[EricJones in reply to Dolphin14]

Don't focus on the strangers focus my game?

[Dolphin14 in reply to EricJones]

Yes

[EricJones in reply to Dolphin14]

Is it weird to look around at them?

[Dolphin14 in reply to EricJones]

I don't think so in this situation. I will glance at other people in the bowling alley. I like to watch them bowl

Looking and focusing are two different things. Glance but don't fixate.

[-Charlie in reply to Dolphin14]

hi dolphin14, nice to see you! How’s your bowling game? I’ve perfected the art of gutter balls. 😀 Hope you’re well.

[Dolphin14 in reply to -Charlie]

Charlie? Is your mom named Charlotte??

I can throw a mean gutter ball lol.

I'm doing well, how are you

❤️🐬

[-Charlie in reply to Dolphin14]

Yes, my mom has temporarily lost her mind … she’s working full-time at the local bowling alley retrieving gutter balls for a living. Keeps her humble lol.

It’s important I return here from time to time and keep the cat people in line as only a ChowChow can.

How’s little Herman doing?

I’m doing well thank you.

❤️

[Dolphin14 in reply to -Charlie]

I thought you looked familiar Charlie. You will def keep those cat people in line.

Jack of all trades working in the bowling alley now. Good for you, keep changing it up for variety.

Little Herman is absolutely fabulous. 🦔

[-Charlie]

Eric, do you bowl a lot?

[EricJones in reply to -Charlie]

I don't get out of the house a lot.... although I've been going out more lately

[-Charlie]

Good for you, keep it up. Don’t worry about what others are thinking. They’re not thinking about you I’d bet. Flip that thought around….what would you tell a friend if they thought you were hyper focused on them? Your mind is playing tricks on you that’s all. Try and just enjoy the time out.

[EricJones in reply to -Charlie]

Explain what you mean when you say my mind is playing tricks on me

[litethatnevergoesout]

it will be loud and everyone will be doing the exact same body movements so it’s perfect for you. looking awkward is key to recreational bowling. you will blend in more than ever.

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

Just focus on the game of bowling 🎳 And you'll be fine. And you'll have fun!Plus everyone else is going to be enjoying themselves and their own lanes to notice you. You ain't on their radar.

So relax and hope you get a turkey! (That's 3 strikes in a row)

[EricJones in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

I bowled a 71 (we only played one game) ...how sucky is that?

[litethatnevergoesout in reply to EricJones]

I’m glad you’re more focused on your score than how you appeared to others. you had fun.

[EricJones in reply to litethatnevergoesout]

It was 50/50...halfway fixated on others and halfway not

[litethatnevergoesout in reply to EricJones]

what do you remember about the experience, what are some things that stand out?

[EricJones in reply to litethatnevergoesout]

The fact that my score was incredibly low ..I bowled a 209 once...the fact that a friend named Griffin came late and bowled the best game that anyone there bowled...the fact that I was still anxious that people would find out that I was hyper focused on them...stranger or friend

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to EricJones]

Don't be so hard on yourself. It's all for fun. I think I bowl that low the last time I bowled. My game was definitely off 😂

[Dolphin14 in reply to EricJones]

Bowling is more about the laughs I think. It's so fun watching other people and how they throw the ball. Then you get up there and you think you got it going on, standing perfect focusing knowing you are going to get a strike. After all that prep and set up it goes in the gutter.

I'm glad you went. And 50/50 isn't bad at all. It's not 100% hyper-vigilance so be happy about that

[EricJones in reply to Dolphin14]

yeah people were pretty far away so it wasn't like there was too much interaction in order to display my hyper vigilance. i think thats the main reason why it was 50/50..lol just saying.

[Dolphin14 in reply to EricJones]

That's really good Eric.

Things will get easier. Keep working it

[EricJones in reply to Dolphin14]

I just don't know what I can do about it. To make it go better

[Dolphin14 in reply to EricJones]

I think you just have to keep getting out there. Don't isolate just keep exposing yourself to the public.

[EricJones in reply to Dolphin14]

Such a hard thing to do... especially when I can hear people's conversations and the sounds that they make

[Dolphin14 in reply to EricJones]

I understand

I'm hoping that eventually you will be able to drown them out

[EricJones in reply to Dolphin14]

So do I....I still think it has to do with people...me relating sounds with people...I feared people so much that I even feared the sounds that they made

[Dolphin14 in reply to EricJones]

Those fears are hard to break but it can be done. It was 50/50 on this bowling outing. Maybe after a few more times out you can change that figure a little. Every time you are around people you are going to realize not all of them are a danger.

[-Charlie]

okay it’s like this …. Somewhere/somehow probably something in your past, made you self conscious to the point of paranoia. To the extreme that you have become hyper focused on your body language. (It’s up to you to know how or why this occurred). Rather than dealing with whatever it was and learning the skills/tools to maneuver out of that mindset, you’ve handicapped yourself with feelings of inadequacy or insecurity in your body movements or a general state of paranoia. You can change this way of thinking. You’re only stuck in this pattern if you believe you are. Don’t let it become the norm, like a bad habit of thinking. Question yourself and your thoughts. Investigate them like a crime scene. What proof do you have that your thinking is correct? What have those around you done or said that put you in this state? If you’ve got no valid answers than you’ve got to consider that you’re down a rabbit hole of illusions. That means it’s time for a reality check. This is how the brain works against us, trick plays. (I’ve bowled worse than a 70 several times so well done on a 71!)