I need to be better..

[LostSoul40]

I've never really known who I am or why I am here. My mind doesn't seem to work like everyone else. Every day I wake up with a crushing weight on my chest and search for strength and guidance. I've lost nearly everything that ever mattered and just need to accomplish even just one small thing that makes me feel worthy of the breath in my lungs. If I could just find something, anything that can give me hope and some sense of positivity, I know I can build on that. In 40 years I've never felt significant.

[gajh]

Hello and Welcome. "If I could just find something, anything that can give me hope and some sense of positivity, I know I can build on that." You have found it. Right here with us. Connecting with people who understand makes all the difference in the world. You are not alone. There is so much support available here.

[LostSoul40 in reply to gajh]

I truly appreciate your response. I just don't know where to even start right now. I don't want whatever time I have left in this world to mean nothing.

[gajh in reply to LostSoul40]

Rather than looking at the big overwhelming picture of whatever time you have left in this world to mean nothing, focus on this present moment. What can you do to make today better? You are totally worthy of the breath in your lungs. You don't need to do anything to be worthy. You are already worthy. Read through the posts here. Reply. Talk to people. Get to know people. This is a great place to learn how to heal and learn how to take baby steps to move forward. Keep posting. Connect with people. Let us give you hope.

[LoveforAll41]

I am sorry you are feeling so low LostSoul. It is hard to feel insignificant or like a failure. If you have time maybe volunteering could help? That can be hard because it is often so social... I would probably feel good about myself picking up litter or something very small that could be seen as insignificant. Thanks for sharing ☮️

[BlueXTY]

I'm in the same boat. I have never understood why I'm here. My life has no real purpose or meaning. I feel like I'm just taking up space. I've lost most of the family members that I was closest to. And their death has left a hole that can never be filled. Losing my mother especially changed me forever. This world seems a dark lonely place without her. My failures and regrets haunt me on a daily basis but somehow I find the strength to keep going. Guess this is not an encouraging reply but just wanted to let you know you're not alone. I'm here if you need to talk. Let's try to encourage one another.

[LostSoul40 in reply to BlueXTY]

Honestly losing most of my family in a very short time is a major reason it has been so hard to recover more recently. Their passing left the question why them and not me? Especially my brother who died at only 34 years old. All the things I never said or did for them. I'm the last one standing and never anticipated it would be this way. There just has to be a reason, a purpose for us to still be here. It can't be just a struggle. The saying that some must suffer for others to know how good they have it seems so cruel but, at the moment it's the only reason I can find to explain any of it.

[Hidden]

I just wanted to second the outstanding advice given here, especially gajh’s.