Little help

[Tulip2407]

This group have been always a strength and support to me... thank you.I have learned or improved in many areas with group eventually I'm at a place where I have understood I cannot have everything. But I get exhausted in running most of the chores. I have adapted that it's ok to have a messy house and clean when u have time. But why it's always me who feels that it's really a high time to clean or put that pile of laundry away.

I have tried many times conveying a message that certain things need help and I cannot ask for them every time. Why it's so hard for other half to just volunteer for work on their own. I don't nag or ask for work as asking frequently just disturb my peace it's better that i do it in my own pace and time.

I see my husband constantly on phone scrolling, playing game or just shuffling apps it's like he has a addiction of mobile screen time. We have argued and he ends up saying u are the one who is on phone we even compared our screen time with app still he manages to come up with a reason or excuse to prove me wrong.

I usually just stay away ignoring or discussing anything with him forget about asking for help it takes 10 reminders to get anything rolling.

I simple shift my attention or focus to other work rather than looking at him with his phone.

I know this is the best solution but I'm scared over the period of time I'm gonna consumed with work grown old and will have zero feels for him. As I already feel that distance.

Am I doing the right things ? Is it ok to just turn away from the problem ?

[blackcat64013]

Hi 🌷 2407,

Thank you for your post.

I want to reach out and give you a giant virtual 🫂 hug.

Something has hijacked your relationship so that all you see now are difficulties, demands, pressures & problems 🤔

I have not always been good at having the difficult conversations I know I need to have with the person at the centre of the situation. I have been scared of stirring up resistance and resentments 😱

A good friend advised me that the best thing to do is say, "enough is enough." Look after yourself first by:-

*doing take a stock take on my life - positives and negatives

* working out my priorities

* thinking about what I need and want to do next.

As much as I tried to this on my own, I was always stuck and I getting less healthy from the stress.

My GP has always come through with IPT counselling and making an appointment for extra therapy sessions to help.

I have to say that everything begins with asking for that extra

help. It's not a sign of weakness. It takes courage to admit that you are not OK.

In fact, an English author, Kevin Braddock has written a book on the subject. It's a good reference starting point.

Best wishes dear heart from 🐈‍⬛