Spent last weekend binge drinking again. Excuse is always "if I'm gunna be ----- up might as well get ------ up" And I always regrets it, sooo much worse.. I mean the tension headaches alone! The low afterwords is so low, I go threw a little psychotic break every time. Whywhywhy
The one thing that really attracts me to drinking is those first few.. Absolutely everything bad goes away about your emotional state and physical too, so much back pain and it work's! Just nice to not suffer briefly
I do the same thing to myself sometimes( this last week as well). It’s an odd cycle when I think about it. we know in the long run it’ll feel worse but the temporary relief is so appealing.
So very appealing, when I am buzzed I become that guy I want to be.. Cheerful, friendly, no worries or anxiety, no pain, no fucking lack of self worth!
But it comes back ten fold every time.. Maybe we will learn one day thanks for the reply 
I read your other post about getting to AA. Way to go. I’m not a heavy drinker, but I can relate to a few drinks helping me become the women I want to be.
And I’m 55 😩
I know I’ve got to find who that is in other ways, and to be confident that I’m special and important etc.
Just something to let you know that even those that aren’t hooked on getting drunk feel to a lesser extent the same insecurities and wish it could be ‘easy’ being the person they want to be. Keep striving, you’re so young with the world in front of you....and you’re inspiring others!
Thank you for the reply, yes it's hard sometimes finding that person, regardless of age but so very possible . I hope I can inspire maybe but this website gives a filter of thought and support which is wicked and hearing from other ppl inspire me so thank YOU..
I understand. Its been eight years of drinking and I'm working on stopping. It feels good for a bit then the low is so bad afterwards.
About the same for me.. I do try to stop but you have really bad days where you cave, or even good days where you are like hmm.. Maybe I can handle it I deserve a few.. Fucking mistake lol because I won't stop. Yes the low is so so low, thanks for the reply! I hope you find peace without tha poison💀
I'm working on it so should you. I understand though because it's the only thing that makes me feel better but then it's hard to work,i feel sick and tired, I feel guilty about the money spent, the depression, insomnia. It's so bad and I never remember the night before. I hate it but continue to do it. Wtf?
It’s a good point we should all work to be better about this, especially since we acknowledge that the consequences outweigh the short term relief.
a couple of beers to get in the merry mood is great everything changes inside us for an hour or two then we get carried away into oblivion with no recollection what happened the day before.spending days depressed paranoid anxious and saying never again and then it does.i only drink beer and only every 2 weeks I have about 8 in the pub 3or4 beers at home but still feel like you medication doesn't help.
Why not stop at the good buzz then switch to water & dancing your ass off at a club. You’ll be loosened up and can get good cardio in which helps. I should do that when I can walk well again. I did that in youth it was darn fun & I looked great. Enjoy the poison but don’t poison self. Lol. Maybe weed is a good answer
Maybe you should find something healthier to replace the drinking
Working on it
It sucks I've guzzled down a bottle of wine the past two nights 😩 it really didn't help tho
No it really doesn't wine and dark liquor kick my ass hanger overs especially, hope you find a better way to cope, as I will be looking
I understand what and why you folks drink. Temp help is better than no help. Anything to help is ok in my book. I want to suggest going to the gym too though. Not a gym where you go and do your own thing and have at it. Go to an instructor led type crossfit class. I swear that it's the best feeling after you're done. The physical results is also a massive bonus. It's great when you're in a good mood just after gym. It's also just as good when you're in a very stressed high anxiety mood. It calms you down without taking any pills
It sounds like the drinking is treatment that isn’t working for you well. If you do suffer from back pain and anxiety then the first step is tomorrow find a doctor if you don’t already have one. Make an appt, and I’m not just talking meds here. Ask about counseling, physical therapy, etc. If you don’t have insurance there are free to low cost clinics in most towns. Once you’re on a path to healing the mind and body, then it’s just dealing with the thoughts of wanting to party and get fucked up - which you look young so I’m sure that’s what your friends are doing too.
OK, time to say it.....why haven't you checked into a AA or NA support group. Or maybe you have. If so, maybe you ciould consider them again.
NA and AA deals with all drugs, including alcohol. Didn't see anyone mentioning NA or AA. Maybe consider starting with calling the NA or AA line in your area and get the schedule for meetings....probably on the internet. The motto is 90 meetings in 90 days when you start and one hour meetings with coffee and maybe a donut or two never hurt anyone and ...no one is judged or turned away; in fact the newly sober member is given extra support and attention.
Helps some; others are not ready. I needed something so badly I was walking in what many people would consioder the "hood."
You will never hear any judgment or criticism. And hear ways others stay sober. Anxiety and depression are constant companions with many members.
Found it helps to go to A MEETING AT LEAST EVERY DAY in the beginning. Some AA and DA members have physical chronic pain too and take their meds as prescribed for the physical pain.
I was prescribed a muscle relaxation med by my doctor for pain relief and it made me crazy...was up all night waiting for the sun rise so I could just walk and walk...turned out the medication was wrong for me and he just told me to stop it. Bad advice. Then I was in withdrawal and up all night waiting for sunrise....looked and called every where I could. Thought I was crazy. A noon NA meeting met nearby 5 days a week at noon and I walked to it as was not safe for me to drive. Had no idea NA was really about, but the first time I walked in, a woman invired me to sit next to her and I just sat and literally held onto the bottom of my chair with my hands.
That group saved me in many ways. Went as many days of the weeks as I could. Started to help clean up after meetings, etc...and people who had been clean for years offered their private phone numbers to me. Those numbers got me through the nights. Just to hear a human voice who cared sometimes was enough.
It is 5 years since I shuffled into that meeting; they explained that perhaps I was going through withdrawal and maybe needed to go to a rehab facility...but that was not possible for me. Got new MD for my chronic pain several years ago. Helps, but YES, for 34 years I know what chronic pain is.....got hit by a semi-truck. But this MD understands pain, addiction and what alternatives he can offer. Three times a year I have pain reducing epidurals. Never will be pain free or anxiety or depression free........but much better life. Have a MD for my depression and nightmares and anxiety.
I never drank. But taking more pain meds than RX was enticing........but that doesn't work.
Thought about the river. Thought about jumping from the bridge. Thought about many things and sometimes during a rough period, did not want my feet to touch the floor if I was even able to sleep in bed for an hour or two.
Somedays, stayed up all night...didn't want the nightmares and didn't want to walk in the dark.
Sometimes it takes two nights up all night before my body and mind are tired enough to force some sleep. But that is much less often now. Do sleep 4 hours at least.
I wish all of you a better life and less pain with out alcohol...which kills too many brain cells that can't be recovered, xxx
Wow.. Thank you for replying with your story, really puts things in a different perspective. Sorry your going through all that. One of my friends said he would take me to a meeting I am going to talk to him about it. My withdrawals and panic attacks are coming to an end finally, so I am more up to it. I will go from there thank you for the reply friend
You're welcome. Any time. Glad it helped. Haven't mentioned NA or AA on this venue in a very long time. But reading your messages, I caught on that maybe you hadn't thought about trying them. And I hate to hear what you are going through. I have come to terms that anxiety, depresssion and some degree of pain are the hitch hikers some of us have no matter what we do...some things are just part of our lives. Just need to find ways to make these uninvited tumbleweeds from catching a free ride. Let me know how the meeting goes.....but it sometimes takes a number of meetings before it becomes a habit.....once a habit, you'll be more comfortable attending. Sleep well tonight. xx
I hear you. Once I have that first delicious glass of wine, I don’t seem to stop until I’m either asleep or out of wine. I always regret it as well. I also enjoy getting out of my head. It’s the coping mechanism I was taught. Not the best.
You are just self medicating your pain physically and mentally.
This is a trap you may not get out of. Proceed with caution.
I was just a little girl (trigger warning)
be nice to pharmacy workers :(
Just needed to vent...
Just need a little help.
