Learn to live with anxiety and you'll be able to live without it.

[Jeff1943]

Stop fighting your anxiety, it only makes things worse. Instead, surrender to it, accept it for the time being: do the exact opposite of what you've been doing until now. Ask yourself, did fighting make you feel better? Did it cure you of panicky feelings, palpitations, upset stomach, feelings of doom and all the other symptoms in the Google guide to anxiety disorder? On the contrary, all that extra adrenaline your body released as a result of the extra stress and strain of fighting only made your nervous system more sensitised still.

If you're digging yourself into a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging. So stop fighting - stop checking your pulse every 5 minutes, stop testing to see if you can walk round the store without feeling dizzy, stop checking that ache or pain to see if it's gone away yet. Instead learn to co-exist with all the fake symptoms, accept them without reservation and acknowledge they're going to be around for some time yet - but you've made important changes in how you deal with them that eventually and inevitably you will be free at last, free at last, free at last.

"I find that some patients complain , 'I have accepted the churning in my stomach but it is still there. So what am I to do now?' How could they have accepted it if they still complain about it?

"I try to make them understand that they must be prepared to let their stomachs churn...only by so doing would they be truly accepting. In this way, and only in this way, would they reach the stage when it would matter no longer whether their stomachs churned or not. Then freed from the stimulous of tension and anxiety, their adrenalin-releasing nerves would gradually calm down and the churning would automatically lessen and finally cease."

Doctor Claire Weekes, 'Self help for your nerves', 23rd. printing, 1986.

Written by

Jeff1943

[Agora1]

The freedom we get from Acceptance is amazing.

Thanks for the reminder Jeff1943. xx

[Minnie87]

Truest words ever spoken!

[bergh]

Oh how timely this came for me as I was struggling so much with trying to neutralise thoughts and feelings. You are such a positive for me, for us all Jeff, thank you from the depths of a very weary, but still trying so hard, heart x

[Tinkynutbug]

Thank you for sharing.

[Cjonesabq]

best book on anxiety, it was a lifesaver and Claire explained it perfectly and simply.

[Shnookie]

I cannot totally accept this principle. I work 7 days a week and have had pain and anxiety from time to time at work. I work thru my pain because I need to survive and keep a roof over my head. I take Excedrin - U.S. for migraine like headaches and then antacids because Excedrin hurts my stomach. I intellectually understand what is going on and my anxiety fortunately can lessen. However even with acceptance it never totally goes away for me and I also have PTSD as well being the daughter of a child Holocaust survivor and my granny had survivor’s guilt which has impacted me greatly. Yes I live with it but it still can be painful.

[SayNOtoPanic]

🙏🏻Thank you Jeff. Needed this today. Meditated on it and saw ur post. Bless ur heart. The late Dr Weekes was correct. Live with the discomfort. Thx again for this.

[Hidden]

Hi I agree about the Acceptance and stop fighting

It can take years for this

And if long term

It does help a lot

Same with depression etc

Also with the right help

Apply for

Pip

Benefits (uk)

It helps lots with the acceptance etc and helps you try lead a independence life

[Stan58]

Self help for your nerves and essential help for your nerves, both books by Dr Claire Weekes are recommended for anyone suffering with Anxiety and to overcome stress and fear.

[Thankfulforhelp22]

👍🏾 agree. Not easy, but the much better approach. I’m actively working on this.

Thanks for the post.

[MARTIN20]

Acceptance and surrender. So difficult for us type A people to do, and yet so powerful. Accepting all that we are, all that we feel, our past, our inclinations, our lives as they are; surrendering to what is- transformative!

[Jeff1943]

For the benefit of newbies, when we say Acceptance it is only meant to be temporary acceptance so through the act of acceptance we stop constantly sensitising our nervous system. Once that is achieved there are no more symptoms to temporarily accept. Claire Weekes' Acceptance doesn't mean putting up with the symptoms for the rest of your life.

[SeekingBliss in reply to Jeff1943]

How do you know when you have crossed this line of temporary acceptance? I have been practicing acceptance for a few months in my mindfulness sessions. It does help, but it's sometimes difficult to remember. The feeling of waking up with and shortness of breath isn't very nice and it takes time to remember and let it pass through me. But I feel this has left me exhausted to do anything else.. I have very little energy for even leading my daily functions. I'm now talking to a psychiatrist to look into medical options, since it's been a few months of feeling this way.

[Jeff1943 in reply to SeekingBliss]

SeekingBliss, if you need to ask when you have achieved Acceptance it means you have not achieved Acceptance yet.Acceptance is achieved through 'masterly inactivity', you don't have to do anything when anxiety tries to strike because you now understand that it's just the result of frayed nerves playing up and that once you lose your fear of it full recovery will surely follow as it has for 'tens of millions' throughout the world since 1960.

You have read Claire Weekes' first book haven't you. I don't think it possible to understand and achieve Acceptance without reading that short book. And then re-reading it. And then re-reading it. So whatever confronts you, you know instinctively the correct way to respond.

'Self help with your nerves' also published under the title 'Hope and help with your nerves' by Doctor Claire Weekes available new and used on Amazon and Ebay.

[SeekingBliss in reply to Jeff1943]

I asked specifically about temporary acceptance that you mentioned in your comment and I'm still not clear what temporary acceptance means.

[Jeff1943 in reply to SeekingBliss]

As explained in another post here, I use the word temporary specifically to make it clear that Weekes' meaning of Acceptance doesn't mean putting up with the fake symptoms forever just as a limited remedy for as long as it is needed to desensitise the nervous system.I'm sorry you don't understand what she meant by Acceptance but I have tried to explain, best to get it from the horse's mouth so to speak and study her description in the book aforementioned.

Acceptance comes through understanding how our stressed nervous system works, belief, practice and 'Let time pass'.

[secrets22]

Easier said than done. I do accept my difficulties but it doesn't mean they go away, if you are in constant pain i cant see accepting it makes it any easier.

[Jeff1943 in reply to secrets22]

If the pain is physical in cause then it will not be dispersed by desensitising the nervous system. If the pain is a symptom of anxiety disorder then it will cease once the nervous system becomes desensitised through Acceptance (which is certainly much easier said than done as you rightly say).

I'm sorry to hear you are in constant pain. I guess you've tried getting help from the specialised Pain Clinic at most local hospitals.

[Hidden in reply to secrets22]

Lots long term live with it and never goes away Probaly majority on forum

For some 3 to 5 out of 10 is a balanced level to live with it

You may have lower or higher levels even if that's the goal

Everybody's goal is different though

Those in the UK

Can apply try get

Pip benefits

[Hidden]

I attend courses and help sometimes Oir some it is long term and won't go away

And years are wasted fighting It

When ee say in this situation

We work on wots your right levels to get to

Lots are out of 10

4/6 some

1/3

Some 7/10

And when they go Above docs input needed or referrals to get your levels down

And we also try our hardest to get

pip (uk)

for lots in this situation

Myself

My acceptance levels are 4/6

and can't get below them

Winter even try now

It usually results in big flare for lots when you go Above your acceptance levels

[Cavalierrubie]

Thank you for this helpful post Jeff. Dr. Claire Weekes was a brilliant Doctor and cured many people. I understand she suffered panic attacks when she was a child, so would know what we all go through. I think she changed the whole medical profession regarding nervous illness. Reading this again today really helped me as l am having a bad time right now. We do need reminding that we have to accept and let time pass. Wishing you well.

[Teaching]

Fantastic. Learning acceptance

[Jeff1943 in reply to Teaching]

Do read Claire Weekes' book 'Self help for your nerves' also published under the title 'Hope and help for your nerves' in the U.S. to understand exactly what she means by Acceptance and how to achieve it as 'acceptance' can mean different things to different people.'Face. Accept. Float. Let time pass'.

I wish you every success in your quest to disperse anxiety and the depression that come out of anxiety.

[Teaching in reply to Jeff1943]

Thank you so much. This is very helpful.

[pamb67]

It's very wise advice 👌 thanks