Do not fight your feelings of anxiety. Instead do the opposite: accept them for the time being.
Fighting only causes more tension and stress, things that keep your nervous system over-sensitised and so prolongs your anxiety and nervous depletion.
It really is a case of: That which you resist will persist!
You continue to feel anxious even after the original cause of your anxiety has passed because your nerves continue to be sensitised. Sensitisation doesn't just switch off because the anxious event has passed.
Do not allow yourself to become anxious about feeling anxious. Do not fall into the trap of feeling fear of fear. These things can make the bad feeling self-perpetuate. Responding in that way causes the release of more adrenaline and cortisol : the fear hormones that sensitised nerves thrive on.
Recovery and regaining your quiet mind depends on you losing your fear of fear and your anxiety about feeling anxious. The flow of fear hormones then slows and ceases and your over-sensitised nervous system returns to normal. Acceptance has banished fear and all is well.
That's how you overcome fear and anxiety: you replace them by accepting them for the moment, by agreeing to co-exist with them for the time being.
Acceptance is the second imperitive in the late Claire Weekes' classic method for recovery from anxiety disorder in all its forms: Face. Accept. Float. And let time pass.
Work closely with your doctor, that's what he or she is there for. Take advantage of one-to-one therapy if you can. Medications may also be a helpful part of your recovery plan.
You are not going to feel like this forever.
Written by
Jeff1943
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Yes... beautifully said.... and I’ve read about this... do not resist it. Sit with it. Float. But it is hard.... you have to function... you have work, kids... stuff to do. And I push thru it all. But ultimately the underlying cause has to be addressed. I suffer from depression and anxiety- I’m going thru menopause, that heightens the anxiety w the hormonal fluctuations.... and I have moved out of our family house to take a break and think about the next steps in my life. I could not see myself live w my husband who is emotionally shut down ... any longer. My body shut down over it and I fell in a deep depression....So therapy, meds, hrt, Zoloft for a few months now.... but the anxiety is constantly there.... I struggle w wanting to live my authentic self and being a mother and wife. Clearly, in this relationship, I cannot do both..... severely conflicted and cannot find my voice to talk to my husband. He thinks once I feel better I will move back in...... but that won’t be the case.....
Sorry going on and on, but it feels good to let it out in a safe space.
So yes, I’ll sit w the anxiety for a while but I also take a lorazepam here and there when I can’t take it any more....
I know this will not last forever.. but I need to take a decision soon..... so this doesn’t kill me slowly but surely.
Acceptance... acceptance of what first of all? Once I come to a conclusion... I will accept it fully. But until then lots of soul searching.... anyone in a similar situation? Or has ever been? I would so appreciate some feedback... some chats, support.... exchange..... love to you all, thank you for reading, xo 🙏🏼
So yes, I’ll sit w the anxiety for a while but I also take a lorazepam here and there when I can’t take it any more....
^ If meds are part of your healing journey then by all means continue. Sitting with one's current situation and helping yourself with therapy/meds/whatever works shouldn't exclude the other.
Im rooting for you. I hope at the end of you soul searching that you reach a conclusion that will best benefit your mental and physical health.
The fact that I am unable to draw a satisfying breath makes me so uneasy and anxious that I just can’t deal with it ..every time it happens feels like the first time..so even I know that accepting helps but it’s easier said than done
What’s great in this. This is nothing great that we are trying to achieve here all everyone is trying to deal with their anxiety and live on..it’s all about living with anxiety ..that’s what the forum is for. You response is totally irrelevant.
Ladybug, you say the purpose of this forum is about living with anxiety, I say the purpose of this forum is about recovering from anxiety.
Acceptance as advocated by Claire Weekes can lead to recovery but it is not an easy remedy. I was agreeing with you when you said: 'accepting helps but it is easier said than done.'
I think there is a misunderstanding about what Acceptance means in this context. It does not mean learning to put up with anxiety disorder for the rest of your life. It means using Acceptance as a temporary therapy to break the cycle of anxiety-symptoms-anxiety-symptoms-anxiety and thereby achieving a cure.
This is nothing new, since first publishing her Acceptance method in 1962 Weekes has helped tens of millions of people throughout the world to recover from anxiety disorder. This is the claim of Doctor David Barlow, Emeritus Professor of Psychology and Psychiatry at Boston University.
There are of course other self-help methods advocated by other authors which may achieve cure in other ways.
You say that there is nothing great in what we are trying to achieve here and that my response is totally irrelevant. I have to disagree with you: there can be no greater achievement than recovery from anxiety disorder and discussing it is far from irrelevant.
If there is any way to really recover from anxiety and if you have done it I would love to speak with those people. As far as I know anxiety is a basic human emotion which is necessary for survival. Whatever therapies exist only help you to deal with it and to not be bothered by it. There is nothing you can do to get rid of it. What you are talking about is dealing with symptoms so the symptoms reduce or maybe some of them go away. But does that mean you will never have a panic attack ever in your life ? There is no Guarantee.
You are entitled to your beliefs but I disagree with some of what you say. I myself recovered from anxiety disorder many years ago using Weekes' method and I know for sure I am not the only one here but others must speak for themselves. Of course, by definition, most people who recover do not stay on this forum as they no longer have the need for it.
As you say, a degree of anxiety is normal for everybody on a daily basis and we cope with that without too much trouble. But when the amount of anxiety becomes overwhelming and we don't feel able to cope then changes take place in the nervous system that lead to anxiety disorder.
One symptom is that we exaggerate and multiply many times over small worries that normally we could deal with no problem. Health anxiety, derealisation, social anxiety, an obsession with death and agoraphobia are other symptoms of anxiety disorder but not of ordinary anxiety.
I continue to experience normal levels of anxiety: the last time I had a panic attack was back in the 1970s before I recovered.
As you say, nobody can give you a guarantee that you will never have panic attacks again. But if you have successfully recovered once then you can do so again should the panic attacks return.
If what you say is true. I would love to try what you did. I would like to know how you did it and what exactly helped you. Please do share your experience. I have been suffering from anxiety since 2015 which is when I got my first panic attack and have been suffering from panic disorder since then. I have tried everything including medication and CBT but nothing has worked as a permanent solution. I am willing to try anything.
A good night sleep and plus diet exercise helps. . Without any of these the anxiety is worse. Limit yourself to news stories try and find hobbies . Before bed watch something on tv or you tube that is relaxing. When you have bad thoughts running in your head maybe write them down. When you get better and you will you can look back on them and think what the heck was all that about and you will see that your thought process wasn't fully functioning. It may help you to improve by the pre things I stated. Try and laugh at the thoughts. I do this now it helps me go with the flow the more you think about them in a negative way personally the more they will stay around. Also think well thats a part of me a part of my personality. Never be afraid as the person and you state it can be natural its there to serve you but can get out of hand.
Ladybug88, I will be delighted to explain Claire Weekes' method for recovery from anxiety disorder and you can then make of it what you will. It is significant that there have been 1,600 reader reviews of her books on the U.S. and U.K. versions of Amazon in the last few years and 90% rated her method either Excellent or Very Good.
Not bad for a woman who died 30 years ago and whose biography is titled 'Claire Weekes: the woman who cracked the anxiety code'.
When she was a young woman studying for medical qualifications she began to experience disabling levels of anxiety. However, she worked out a method that brought about her recovery. She spent the rest of her life sharing that method through books, correspondence, consultations and media appearances.
Claire Weekes explained that everyone has a threshold for anxiety above which they experience mental distress. When that point is reached the nervous system becomes over sensitised. We experience a range of symptoms which include panic attacks, health anxiety, agoraphobia, the belief that death is imminent etc.
These symptoms cause fear which releases excessive amounts of adrenaline and cortisol. These fear hormones ensure our nerves continue to be over sensitised and so further symptoms occur causing more fear causing more sensitisation causing more symptoms causing more fear - and so we become locked into a vicious circle of suffering.
Doctor Claire Weekes believed everybody can recover from anxiety disorder using her method. She announced to the world her four imperatives for recovery in 1962 in her first book published as 'Self help for your nerves' in the U.K. and 'Hope and help for your nerves' in the U.S. Nearly 60 years later the book continues to be published and can be obtained either new or used on Amazon and Ebay.
1. Face. First face the fact that the cause of your symptoms is nervous sensitisation. If you have repeatedly been told by doctors that your symptoms are anxiety and not physical illness you should accept that diagnosis. You cannot cure yourself of an illness you don't have no matter how hard you try. Face the fact that no matter how terrible it makes you feel it will not kill you, permanently disable you or cause you to lose your mind. The power of anxiety is limited. Take reassurance from that fact.
2. Accept. Instead of fighting your symptoms of anxiety accept them for the moment. Fighting only causes more stress and tension. Know that by agreeing to co-exist with them for the time being you reduce your level of fear by not adding second fear to the flash of first fear. You now know that anxiety symptoms are all bark and no bite. Let the bad feelings wash over you, relax every muscle in your body and let them come. You now have the measure of them and their days are numbered. And so you feel less fear and your nervous system begins to lose its over sensitivity.
3. Float. Stay off that couch or bed, arise and continue with your day as normal no matter how bad you feel. Imagine you are floating, being carried forward by some invisible force. Even if your legs feel like jelly they will still carry you forward.
4. Let time pass. Acceptance and floating need practice and persistence. You will not achieve acceptance in a day. You spent a long time getting yourself into this state, allow a little time to get out of it.
This, then, is a brief outline of Doctor Weekes' Acceptance method which I first came across so many years ago. By practicing what she wrote I gradually recovered and regained my quiet mind. I have come to terms with my fears and overcome them: I know that an upset stomach is not a tumour and that muscular tension in my chest is not heart failure.
Ladybug88, you can speak to me if you wish. What Jeff is trying to say is that you don’t have to live with panic attacks or wholly inappropriate levels of anxiety and the reason why the overwhelming majority of people are here on this forum. If someone is not bothered by anxiety or the myriad of symptoms that come with it ( e.g. ocd, agoraphobia, depression etc etc) they wouldn’t be here. They would have no fear (or dislike) of them so it doesn’t bother them. Many sufferers don’t have a particular problem about anything, they are just struggling to cope with the thoughts and feelings generated by anxiety which can be overcome by acceptance. Acceptance instead of struggling against the tide. Going with the flow and being ok about not feeling ok. Allowing the negative thoughts and feelings to be there and not doing anything about them.
It is true that anxiety is a natural human emotion. An emotion that is trying protect us in times of danger. It’s the fight or flight response which is great if you are fleeing from a wild animal but not so great if you are in the middle of a supermarket, at work or at the cinema. It has become trigger happy through overuse and the response magnified tenfold. The sufferer has become sensitised.
Panic attacks occur because the individual’s involuntary nervous system that controls the emotions has become sensitised through prolonged stress, a series of stressful situations ( that was my trigger for the onset of my anxiety). Resilience to ordinary situations is zero with overwhelming feelings of being unable to cope, even with the most mundane tasks. Tasks that a person who has not been sensitised could do without batting an eyelid. Hard to believe all of this could be the result of overwrought nerves. Sensitisation is only the first step of the process towards anxiety and panic attacks. Sufferers are often bewildered by the symptoms caused by sensitised nerves and isn’t long before fear comes knocking because sufferers just don’t understand what is happening to them or why but it all happens in chronological order. Stress, sensitisation, bewilderment, fear, anxiety and lots and lots of different symptoms that can be frightening.
Fear or fearing the symptoms of fear create the perfect storm which is prolonged if the sufferer continues to fear what is happening to them. They try to fight their way out of it but that just digs a deeper hole.
The way out of this maze ( or hole) is a very simple concept which Jeff has already explained. Facing those fears, accepting whatever you might be thinking and feeling, floating past them (being ok about not feeling ok) and letting time pass. It takes time for nerves to desensitise so time is the healer. The concept is simple but not easy but with practice, you get there. It’s certainly not impossible and I I can recover, any one can.
Through acceptance, you lose your fear of the symptoms. Panic attacks don’t stop you in your tracks. They are no longer the show stopper simply because you have learnt to pass through them the right way by acceptance. Without fear, panic attacks can’t exist.
How do I know all of this. I learnt about anxiety by reading Dr Weekes’ publications and then walked the walk. It wasn’t easy at times and made lots of mistakes along the way but got there in the end.
Acceptance is not an instant fix, it takes time and persistence, but eventually it becomes instinct. Specially if you read and reread her first book so the right response comes as second nature. I wish you all success in your eventual recovery.
I agree entirely. I’ve read her book several times and still pick it up to read a particular passage or two when I need reminding. It’s not second nature to me yet but it will come. You’re very wise. 🦉😊 Thanks for your kind wishes.
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