What do you expect when you spend mos... - Anxiety and Depre...

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What do you expect when you spend most of your time beating yourself up?


You don't get enough sleep. You try to do the work of two people. You put up with toxic relationships. And then you wonder why you suffer from anxiety and depletion of your nervous energy also called depression.

Suddenly you experience health or social anxiety, derealisation, agoraphobia, depersonalisation, panic attacks or claustrophobia. You frighten yourself half to death worrying about it and then follow your instincts and start fighting it.

The only thing is, frightening yourself half to death releases more fear hormones whilst constantly fighting the symptoms creates more tension and stress. You constantly obsess about the symptoms, checking to see if they've gone every five minutes. You become convinced something's terribly wrong.

But why should the bad feelings go when you can't stop beating yourself up, can't help pumping more and more fear and stress hormones into your nervous system.

Beating yourself up and fighting anxiety never cured anybody. So why not try doing the opposite. Instead of fighting adopt an attitude of passive resistance or masterly inactivity.

Accept all the symptoms and carry on as normal. Agree to co-exist with it and get on with your life. Just accept everything that anxiety chucks your way. Let it engulf you and learn to do nothing. Don't try and lose yourself in diversions because that's not the same thing as accepting. Don't expect to recover some time later this week or expect instant results.

Passive resistance gives your nerves time to recover and when that happens your symptoms gradually fade. As I often say, you win not by the punches that you give but by the punches that you take.

12 Replies

As always perfectly said!

Thank you

Exactly true Jeff!

That vicious circle again!

Thank you Jeff ..hope that you are ok .

I think depression is many things....not only can it be environmental, but it can also be chemical. Those of us with long term depression not only have the chemical, but many of us have other issues such as CPTSD, or trauma, or abandonment, and I think anxiety plays a role, but is a bit more complex.

Jeff1943 in reply to fauxartist

Fauxartist, I think depression has many different causes and sometimes it's difficult to tell the difference between depression and anxiety. In the past the only reason I knew it was anxiety was because it was relieved by diazepam which is a tranquilizer not an anti-depressant.

I think a lot of people with anxiety get depressed about having to face anxiety every day which is understandable.

I think depression, like anxiety, can be inherited from one generation to the next due to some genetic factor.

And some can have one-off non inherited depression due to an imbalance of something.

Many people in the last two categories can be greatly helped by meds that increase the effectiveness of serotonin.

But I also think that a lot of people with depression are suffering from extreme nervous exhaustion, which Claire Weekes called depletion, which is reversible. The causes are indeed complex.

fauxartist in reply to Jeff1943

I agree 110% on all counts...and it is good of you to post this.

I’m too lazy to beat myself up. There are so many nasty people out there willing to do that job I appreciate this is when I lack motivation. It’s just so tiring. I have to move on from it, don’t you? You’re smart and kind and helpful. You’re doing the mean peoples job for them. Stop that! You’re too good of a person for that.

Sorry if it sounded a bit harsh, Neuronerd. But we've all done it, been our own worse enemies by adding second fear to the flash of first fear. And spending too long on the fear>symptoms>fear>symptoms treadmill getting nowhere - when understanding, reassurance and acceptance offer opportunities for escape. That's what I meant by beating ourselves up.

I like you. You’re a very kind soul.

Well said! Thank you!!

You are fabulous Jeff, you are always there to reassure and ease complex thoughts and fear thank you big hugs to you

That is an excellent post, Jeff

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