Trying

[Fireheart13]

I've been trying. Trying to focus on things that people here suggested. Trying to not overwhelm myself by doing so much for other people. Trying to be kind to myself. I bought myself flowers. But there's such a big part of me that feels like I'm letting everyone around me down by not being the go-to for everything. I feel like if I don't be the person they are used to maybe they won't like me anymore. But if they don't like me for prioritizing my own mental health, are they actually people I want to be around? But what happens if the number of people who only liked me because of what I could do for them is too high? What if there's no one left?

[Senior4merEverything]

I get this, it's not easy in any way that I've found to get myself clear for just a few minutes. I have to face the way life is now, and not try to dwell on that which can never be again.

I wonder when I'll get to even the edge of that process's beginning point?

I hope you will be better soon.

[Sunrisetabby]

Please don't try too hard. I mean that sincerely, as it is something that I try myself. Acceptance is really importance and really hard, and it begins with figuring out and accepting yourself. I understand your perhaps rhetorical question, "But what happens if the number of people who only liked me because of what I could do for them is too high?" Good. That would be good, because those were not people who you should care about (unless they include family which is more difficult and complicated). But, don't worry there are billions of people out there, you will find more people, as long as you are doing ok and accept yourself!

[Fireheart13 in reply to Sunrisetabby]

Thank you. It's going to be hard to come to terms with that I think.

[Sunrisetabby in reply to Fireheart13]

One of my biggest goals for myself is to try and think less and own less. More thoughts and more things make living more difficult. I don't really like Buddhism, but a lot of the teachings of the late Buddhist monk Thick Naht Hang have continued to resonate with me since I first learned about him 30 years ago. I just relistenes to his book Silence from the library and highly recommend that book, or any of his, he wrote something like a 100 books but they are all prettier similar and yet each shines light on what I consider to be profound truths. "All the wonders of life are already here. They’re calling you. If you can listen to them, you will be able to stop running. What you need, what we all need, is silence. Stop the noise in your mind in order for the wondrous sounds of life to be heard. Then you can begin to live your life authentically and deeply."

[tommy2toes]

Little by little, and inch by inch, that is enough. Keep chipping away at it on a day to day basis. Move the poles forward little by little, and then be confident in the boundaries you set. No backsliding either. Furthermore, glance in a mirror now and then, and learn to love who you see. Straighten that back and pump out your chest. The more confidence you convey to those around you, the better the interactions with them will be. Remember, we all have to look into our own hearts, and become the heroes of our life stories. It is only then that the world in general will start to truly accept you for who you are. There is absolutely no reason to suborn your being to the needs of others. Feeling that you have to be the "go-to" for everyone else is a mug's game.

[Fireheart13 in reply to tommy2toes]

Thank you. I like the idea of being the hero of my own story.

[catsrock]

If they don't like you for prioritizing your mental health, then they aren't people you need in your life. The true friends will stand out. Sounds to me like you are setting healthy boundaries.