Somebody write me

[EricJones]

I'm very uncomfortable at my parents house...everyone seems to be enjoying themselves..while I'm huddled by myself on my phone...anyone wanna talk to me to make me more comfortable

[Barbloki]

Hi Eric, It's supper time and Easter so probably many people are not looking at this group right now. Can you close your eyes and take some deep breaths, slowly, in and out, and say a calming word to yourself like "peace" or "calm" or whatever works for you? How long do you have to stay there at the family? Maybe you could leave early. Just remember, it will eventually end and you'll get to go home.

[EricJones in reply to Barbloki]

Yeah...I just feel like I'm not pushing myself enough or using exposure therapy the right way

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

Take it easy, Eric. You can't rush things. You have friends here, and you can only do what you can do. It's a little easier if someone talks to you but if you've got to make the first move, then I imagine it would be harder for you. If you're on your phone, let your family hear you laugh at something now and again. They might ask you to share.

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

I guess your right.... i'm not the type to just talk first unless I feel comfortable..and my family cant talk...like theres always someone talking and they were all talking to someone else (not me)

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

That's the thing about holiday time - all the family meeting up, lots of chatter, memories and news going on. It's a shame there isn't someone who could attempt to include you in the conversations, but then again, perhaps they think you are happy without it.

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

i think its more oblivious...someone talks to them, they can relate to them so they keep talking

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

I think you've hit the nail on the head! Do you think they would talk to you if you served them food or drinks?

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

Probably idk why I'd do that...I think they would find that a bit strange haha

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

Don't you help out at home, then?

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

It doesnt work like that...my parents take care of the dishes and clean for themselves (remember I don't live with them)

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

Oh sorry, I thought the house was full of people and that you were also a guest.

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

i guest at my parents house?

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

You say you don't live with your parents, so yes, you are a guest. There are many guests, family members and your parents are in the kitchen most of the time?

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

well i dont consider myself i guest at my old home

[MaggieSylvie in reply to EricJones]

In that case, unless you have paid help, you might consider helping out.

[EricJones in reply to MaggieSylvie]

it doesn't work like that in my family...if my dad needed help i'd surely help me, but they do things with themselves alot

[catsrock]

I'm seeing this way after the fact, but I hope you got through the family gathering ok. They can be tough.

[CLB1125]

sorry I didn’t see this post earlier. I think what Maggie was getting at is, maybe if you offered to help out with the drinks or whatever it would give you an opportunity to mingle with everyone and chat. If you were sitting alone on your phone people might have thought you might not want to be disturbed. Just an observation.

[EricJones in reply to CLB1125]

yeah but people werent drinking that much...and i dont think would lead to too many discussions because i think once they got their drinks they would just go back to what they were talking about beforehand

[Barbloki in reply to EricJones]

Remember how anxious you were before going to your parents? You got through it and now you're back home and safe. You made it. You are stronger than you think.

[EricJones in reply to Barbloki]

yeah i'd say thats true as well...but everytime i go out is difficult

[Barbloki in reply to EricJones]

Do you ever leave the house? do you work?

[EricJones in reply to Barbloki]

yeah i leave the house...and no i dont work

[Barbloki in reply to EricJones]

Do you have a therapist or psychiatrist or group therapy? Something to help with these issues?

[EricJones in reply to Barbloki]

i have group therapy...my psychiatrist sux....and i have no therapist

[Barbloki in reply to EricJones]

Thank goodness you at least have group therapy. I'm on my 3rd psychiatrist in less than 2 years. I meet him on March 18 and so far I like him but time will tell. At least he's not trying to overdose me on drugs like the last 2 did. My therapist is moving in June so I have to find a new one. That's been a major anxiety trigger for me for a month now. Every place I call says they are booked up. We don't have enough therapists to handle all the people who need help. I was offered to meet with a brand new "out of college" intern therapist but at my age (61) I don't think a 20'something fresh out of college therapist is going to understand any of my life experiences. I need someone older who has lived a little. So... I'm pretty upset right now because time is running out. I'm scared I'm going to be left out hanging with no therapist or guidance.

[EricJones in reply to Barbloki]

yeah thats a scary feeling...i'm sorry you have to deal with this. So how are you going to get a therapist?

[Barbloki in reply to EricJones]

I've been calling all over the place to find one. My current therapist has been trying to help me find one. I've got until June to find someone. I have an appt next Tue with someone to see if we will be a good fit. It's hard to find someone who is old enough and experienced enough to understand all I've been through. I'll just keep looking.