I’m never good enough

[Grace227]

I have struggled with anxiety my whole life and depression since my teen years. After 18 years of teaching I was in a school shooting and left the profession. I decided on a change of career and spent thousands of dollars on 2 certifications and a masters. Then in my first job, I got very little feedback and was suddenly let go with no warning or explanation (though they still used all my work). I had several months of unemployment and fell into a deep depression. I finally got another job but I am anxious all the time. I am ahead of schedule on all my projects and get good feedback but I desperately seek out constant reassurance that I am doing well. No one wants to work with someone that is constantly asking “how am I doing?” And “how can I be better?” I work so hard but how do I ever feel good enough?

[tommy2toes]

in essence, what you are implying is self-imposed/driven perfection? You feel compelled to always exceed expectations to both ease your own anxiety and win the approbation of others? What is more, if the latter is not forthcoming, you cannot resist asking ,”am I doing okay”?

[Hidden]

Hi Grace 227 ~ You are good enough! My gosh a school shooting, anyone who has been through that would probably develop a case of anxiety. Then loosing a position that you loved from no fault of your own. That has to be rough on your psyche. Your worrying and needing to stay ahead of the curve might be a symptom of what you experienced , being viligent. You might be the perfect candidate for some CBT. Have you been diagnosed or have a therapist yet. I've been fired several times and been robbed at gun point 3x in life. And I certainly didn't enjoy dealing with the apprehension. Engage us anytime you need to talk.