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Therapy, Not good enough and Practicing the power of positivity

Starrlight profile image
28 Replies

My therapist says I sabotage myself with my thoughts and asked if there were people as I grew up who would keep me from thinking I can do things. She is right in some ways like I do tell myself I’m not good enough sometimes. That I will never accomplish certain things because when I gave my all in past tries I failed. I know myself pretty well and personally i think it’s the illness that keeps me from doing some things like for instance at least now I know if I tried going back to work or school I’d land myself in the hospital. At least I am healing. I am working on believing in myself and believing I am enough.

I wonder who else is working on believing in themselves. Does anyone else feel pressure and anxiety over how we think we should be, that we aren’t good enough?

Let’s practice the power of positivity together my friends. ❤️

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Starrlight profile image
Starrlight
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28 Replies
Agora1 profile image
Agora1

Starrlight, once we can get past the sabotage of others,

you will get to the point of believing in yourself and that you are enough. :) xx

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Agora1

Wow Agora that really makes me think. I have such hurts I want healed ...the hurts from when I perceived others as doing me harm and then in some cases it was true, even meant to do harm. I need to let go.

Some moments I am enough.

I am discovering and challenging myself in ways that prove I believe in myself.

❤️

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to Starrlight

And I more than believe in you Starrlight :) xx

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Agora1

Awww 🥰 love ya sooooooo!

CanuckAnon profile image
CanuckAnon

Yes... I’m practicing this daily... sometimes hourly. 😊 so partners in positivity? 😂☀️🌷I’ve had people doing for me for so long I have forgotten how to do something’s or find it overwhelming but my goodness baby steps right??

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to CanuckAnon

Yup we can be partners, always reminding each other to be positive! I try to do as much as I can these days, but yeah throughout the years I’ve gotten into the habit of saying to myself I can’t do,... like I can’t drive there... too far and might have a panic attack... but no more do I have those attacks so maybe no more excuses.

CanuckAnon profile image
CanuckAnon in reply to Starrlight

Your lucky... just had one... lol they don’t happen often like I can count on 1 hand in my whole life.

I try and do positive as much as I can... It certainly does help I have noticed. My issue is I couldn’t do stuff I used to be able. I can’t drive or do not have a car now... I’m sure I could drive now exp now with shutdown.. no traffic. Lol positive side to this craziness.

I have people around me treating me like I’m made of glass and need to be wrapped in bubble wrap so I’m fighting that to do what I want now.. so I learned how to assert myself quick 😂 that’s part of real me I haven’t seen for a while. I totally understand doubting if u can do something... I figure try but use common sense... if u feel panicked Pull over and pretend to talk on your phone? Breath and carry on sort of thing... I’m taking a bus for 2nd time tomm... 1st time in like 15 years was a week ago?! I’ve always driven ... 😊 if I can do this u can do whatever u want... deal?

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to CanuckAnon

Coooooool thanks for sharing that. You don’t seem at all like glass to me.

CanuckAnon profile image
CanuckAnon in reply to Starrlight

Sorry blurted ... I’m not glass but it’s hard to prove to some and me at times... so I understand how you feel. I keep thinking like I think I can I think I can... eventually it will start as I know I can I know I can.... like the little engine that could or Theodore the tugboat...

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to CanuckAnon

Love it! 😍

I can relate. Read the book The Power of Intention. It completely changed my way of thinking and it's been about six years since. Also I let go of the abuse I endured since the age of three finally. It doesn't affect me at all now.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to

Wow you are like hope, an inspiration... I hope I’ll get there too.

in reply to Starrlight

You will. Really check out that book. It's about positive thinking bringing positive results in your life. With that kind of thinking you can do anything.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to

I will. Thanks Melhall!

Poodie profile image
Poodie

Hi Star.

I like the way Agora put it, the sabotage of others. Watch out for that.

I grew up thinking that there was something not right about (me) what I thought and felt, all because of others’ influence on me or their sabotage. I felt very fragile also, and very alone.

Intrinsically I had it right, I knew myself, I was o k, but I could not fit in with them. Then slowly I met other people I could identify with and eventually a great therapist who one day looked at me as if to say, “ The something wrong with you is that you do not believe in yourself “, with an added incredulous implication of (me being dumb ) —- — how could you not !

Maybe that is some part of what your therapist is telling you when she says you sabotage yourself.

For me my illness was a result of circumstances I could not control and also of not getting what I needed when I was growing up. I have no guilt about that. By the time I got a good therapist, regrettably more then half my life had gone by. I had great support from him and then it was as if I set out to fight to be my o k as is self.

That said, I still need medication for depression now and I still do get depressed (I think) too much. I think chronic PTSD takes a toll on one’s chemistry. That is what is my illness. I do need to take care of my mental health.

So yes if I may say this in the hopes that it will help ; You seem like a smart, loving, lovely young lady. Sure you have this “illness “ in whatever form, however, you may want to try to tap into that belief that you are stronger, more capable and smarter then you think and that the everyday wind of life will not blow you over and if it starts to do so, you either figure it out yourself or you know where to look for help.

Best. ❤️❤️

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Poodie

I have guilt but I was born with this anxirty with ocd and had predisposition for the depression then ptsd when my brother died in a very bad way and then also bipolar... I could not have controlled but I have also made each worse in ways by making mistakes in the midst of trying to stop the pain struggling to just be able to be...

Thanks for telling me some of your story and thanks for the compliments. I’m glad you got help and feel better. Things I pray will start making more sense to me. I’m exhausted

I get frustrated that I’m worse or not taken seriously by doctors and every time I’m right when things are wrong and I get depressed anxiety. I sabotage things when I get too tired with too much in my plate from real things. Sometimes I let myself sabatoge for an entire month. But then I change. Because trying is hard and I realize I can’t do it some days and that’s just the way it is till it’s not. It’s grieving too as things shouldn’t have happened back to back. But they did & have. Not fair doesn’t apply in adulthood or certain health things. It’s about forgiveness and not holding it in all the time that’s hard to do.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to

That really makes me think. You allow yourself to get down because it’s tiring working so hard to try to feel okay? Is that what you mean? I get that. Yup life isn’t fair. There’s so much we don’t have control over. I think you’re right we need forgiveness and we need an outlet in order to heal. Thanks for the thoughtful post.

Poodie profile image
Poodie

You have had lots on your plate. Being in pain, depression, anxiety etc is hard to put up with. We all make mistakes and sometimes very bad choices that do not help us. But that is how we learn. Try not to let yourself dwell on what you did in the past. We are just human and get by as best we can. Look forward. Give it time and you will get stronger and stronger. Believe that .

You are remarkable and I think you will be fine. I believe in you. Keep your self talk encouraging and positive.

Be your biggest cheerleader and when you do that, think of all your friends here who are cheering for themselves and you too.

Take it slow. Baby steps. You are a mom with young ones plus even rehashing the stuff we want to work on can be exhausting. Persevere and it will pay off.

Take care❤️

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Poodie

Thank you sooooo much! Wise words. I just write down some goals that are obtainable. Thanks for cheering me on!!!

Want2BHappy3 profile image
Want2BHappy3

I think he’s trying to pointing out something’s to see if there’s some Truth to what he’s saying? To make You think? Don’t rule Out what he’s saying? But if he keeps going on with the same kind of direction? You might want to change counselors? He’s got to come up with Positive things. I’ve changed them several times till I found the right Fit? I did, then my insurance gets changed. So I have a phone appointment with a new One. So I hope we Click? So keep trying 🙏

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Want2BHappy3

Thanks Want2BHappy! Yeah I’m thinking now that she is probably right about the self sabotage. I love her she’s great I just was not sure at first about what she said. Best to you with your new therapist!

Love2run1969 profile image
Love2run1969

On a daily basis my friend! I was called stupid quite often and that I wouldn't be able to do things. It beats down your self esteem.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Love2run1969

Oh no that’s terrible. It does beat it down. It’s nice to prove them wrong. (((((((hug)))))))

Poodie profile image
Poodie in reply to Love2run1969

Yes. And believing the put downs / low self esteem can be a dangerous way to live. I stayed vulnerable and continued to fall prey to bad people.

Staying away from uncaring people is important. I try to keep them out of my life.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Poodie

I agree ❤️

Sugarfreets profile image
Sugarfreets

Yes our thoughts do sabotage us. I was taught I couldn't do anything so when I did accomplish anything I sabotaged it BIG time. Hard to change what we were taught to believe. Love yourself ❤️

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Sugarfreets

❤️ 💕 💗

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