Can someone help me with my hyper vigilance?

[EricJones]

Every time I'm around people I feel hyper vigilant around them. scanning the room for potential danger, but the most I do is know where everyone is and hyper focus on them. (I'll know if they cough, or if their fork touches their plate, or if they use their hand to wipe something from their eye)...I'm sick of having to see these things when I'm close to someone, but my attention is on it and idk how to stop it.

[fauxartist]

There are many factors.... adult ADHD, childhood abandonment issues, self-worth and the need to constantly prove yourself or justify yourself... lots of stuff... OCD.... But for myself, my over achieving was from never being given kudos as a kid, my situation lacked any nurturing that every kid needs...and it effects our need to do 10 times better than everyone else just to justify our self worth.... eventually over time that will calm down the more you accept yourself for who you are and realize.... your okay... and you have choices.

[EricJones in reply to fauxartist]

do you have any recommendations as to stop hyper focusing on other peoples movements and choices they make?

[hypercat54 in reply to EricJones]

We have between us given you a lot of ideas. Have any of them helped at all?

[EricJones in reply to hypercat54]

No because my questions aren't getting answered...i ask do you know of any ways for me to stop being so hyper alert and paying attention to what everyone else is doing. thats what my whole post is about, finding ways to stop hyper vigilance or at least lessen it.

[hypercat54 in reply to EricJones]

Yes. Practise grounding yourself by looking around you and noticing the colour of the walls the type and colour of the furniture and everything else in your surroundings. This will take your mind off the other people and go some way to break those obsessive thoughts.

The more you think about and concentrate on something the more you will obsess about it - its how our brains work. So you need to start trying to stop those negative thoughts and distract yourself. Doing this by itself will start a new and more positive habit instead.

You will need to do it consciously for a while but it will become easier as time goes by.

Meanwhile look up mindfulness online and it should help you get to grips with it. What have you got to lose by trying it for a while?

[EricJones in reply to hypercat54]

i have hypersensitivity to the sounds they make and the movements they make...your saying by thinking about my senses i'll be able to lessen how hypersensitive i am to them?

[hypercat54 in reply to EricJones]

Yes. Distraction technique works. Also I will say there is no magic wand or magic formulae so you can say yes I'm cured. Anything you do requires effort and work and without that I'm afraid you will stay in the same old loop and nothing will change.

[fauxartist in reply to EricJones]

Our middle girl here just turned 30, and she has had dyslexia and depression most of her young adult life, but always very hyper....and finally she was properly diagnosed with Adult ADHD....it's no joke, and has very serious consequences in the long term. Our girl is now on medication to address this issue, and it has been life changing....she also has been on SSRI's for her depression for the past couple of years which have helped, but now with all the proper meds...her life has calmed down, and she has a bit more inner peace and clarity.

[MaggieSylvie]

Everyone here is here because they have problems of their own, and they find it helpful to have the support of others who are similarly challenged. Some of them, through years of learning how to deal with their demons - they're not so-called experts - have gained wisdom - more than your doctor would have. They also give their time to help each other.

The insights they have offered WILL take effort from you - there is no other way. However, if you want a quick half-fix, while you are with company, you could try just closing your eyes, just to see what happens (you might be afraid the people around you might think you weird but that's what you're afraid of anyway). Just try it for a minute or five or they might get concerned about you - whatever feels comfortable, although slightly out of your comfort zone right now I guess. You could also find your own way of blocking out sound, but probably try one sense at a time - IDK.

You should probably be getting some medication for this annoyance you are experiencing, but there is a lot of extremely helpful advice from members here, if you would just read their suggestions slowly and take time to consider the advice. Don't bite the hand that feeds you - please.☺️