Would like help with my Hyper vigilance towards other people

[EricJones]

My name is Eric and I have social anxiety and I'm afraid that people will notice I'm hyper vigilant towards them and that they'll be uncomfortable around me because of it and that makes me scared and sad.

[Ellamaye]

Hey Eric. Have you got a therapist who could maybe help you with coping techniques?

[EricJones in reply to Ellamaye]

no i do not...I'm in the process of getting one but the system takes a long time to find me a therapist

[Ellamaye in reply to EricJones]

That is a shame because your obviously suffering. I don't want to give you advice as I'm not in a position to . I hope others on here who have the same feeling as you can offer insights x

[Bastian7 in reply to EricJones]

In the meantime, there are so many resources on the internet on dealing with social anxiety and fear of being judged. Just do a google search and immerse yourself in the readings/podcasts/YouTube clips, and find an approach that works for you.

Ultimately, you are the only one in control, and the therapist will walk alongside you, but the hard work will be on you. You can do this!

[EricJones]

ok i understand

[Mumma_h]

Hi there Eric, I have similar feelings, I completely understand!! I actually get soooo anxious in any interaction with people and believe my family and friends think I’m just plain stupid because I don’t have it altogether like they do . I worry I make a fool of myself or send off really bad vibes … I wish I had some great advice you , but Im still learning. Im even scared to post this to you in case I say something wrong or hurtful …. Just know there’s someone out here who really understands . And I guess it’s better to be over caring than not care at all . we must keep faith wel be free from this awful social anxiety . If you were my friend I would tell you you it’s all ok , and you can be whoever you are around me and I’m sure you’d do the same. Maybe , if you feel your friends and family are understanding, tell them how you feel and you’ll feel more comfortable being around them as you go through your healing journey. 🤗

[EricJones in reply to Mumma_h]

thanks for reaching out to me man I appreciate it. Sorry you struggle with it as well. do you mind if we talk in a side chat one on one?

[Mumma_h in reply to EricJones]

Absolutely, so sorry for late reply , oh my goodness you probably thought I did didn’t want to talk to you . I saw msg not long ago , I’m carer my daughter so sometimes i just have to go and do things for her . I’m not really sure how to pm , but can try

[Lank]

I have that same thing as well, that you are unsure of what to say because you don't want to put other people off or be hurtful. And that will reflect on how they respond. I find myself apologizing a lot. I can't really sense how others feel with the few people I do talk with. Does that sound familiar?

[EricJones in reply to Lank]

no it doesnt but we can talk more about it through chat if you'd like

[Lank]

Okay, I'm new here. I think I registered before but didn't use this. Okay, if you'd like to talk about it.

[Mumma_h]

sounds very familiar to me ! I don’t trust people are telling the truth to me , because no one wants to be rude or mean , so I do t know wether they are just listening to me but in their head they might might be saying “ oh my goodness why can’t she jus get it together’ …. My wider family are very successful in almost everything they do , career .. family life …. friendships…. and I’ve heard them be very judgmental to others , so why wouldn’t they be towards me

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Mumma_h]

If you've heard them being judgemental in their gossip, then at some point, they may well be judgemental of you. Despite their success, they don't really know how to live. I would just "smile sweetly" and not believe a word that comes out of their mouths.

[Mumma_h in reply to MaggieSylvie]

Thankyou for your msg, I’d say you’re right about this as I’ve heard them say awful things about a neighbour of theirs who had mental illness . Basically called them crazy , all I wanted to do was run to this person, hug them and tell them you are not crazy and judgmental. I wish I had of , I was scared because they may have all turned against me . It’s a regret of mine , I think their judgment made this poor girl worse . If I ever bumped into her I’d apologise for not standing up for her .

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Mumma_h]

Having mental illness does not mean the person is mad! These people you respect because of the their success (how do you measure success?) who have such low self-esteem that they have to judge everyone around them - they are uneducated, insensitive idiots. That won't get them far in life.

[Dolphin14]

Hyper vigilance was my middle name. I dealt with it for years

🐬

[EricJones in reply to Dolphin14]

how did you overcome it?

[Dolphin14 in reply to EricJones]

A ton of therapy. It was driven by PTSD and through therapy I became aware of why I was doing it and then learned to re route my mind when I started to go in that direction

It's exhausting isn't it. It feels so good not to do it anymore

[Dolphin14]

healthunlocked.com/anxiety-...

This is a link to another post you may not seem. This member offers a great article

[gerrerd]

Go to potentials unlimited online, get the relaxation and self confidence downloads, use as instructed and you will start to be able to cope !

[Hidden]

Hi Eric, I'm Benson from Kenya. You just described who I feel I am and I have no idea how to not be. It's more the same every time I tried not to be. Somehow I find myself giving up trying and just hide, hoping against all odds that no one or no situation exposes me.