I wish I could sleep

[rainydays04]

My head feels very loud all the time. Even when I’m not thinking I feel as if I am. It feels like my brain is pulsing and shaking. It’s horrible at night because it won’t shut off.

My boyfriend is asleep next to me. My dog is asleep at my feet. I’ve tried listening to anxiety meditation videos on YouTube and I feel more relaxed but I still cannot sleep.

I want to be normal again. I had a good few months of it last year. I keep blaming all these feelings on my relationship but I’ve been like this long before we got together. It nothing new, it just feels like it is because it’s been over a year since I was this bad. I’m sick off myself, if I’m honest. I want a break from me. I don’t know how to love myself.

I wish I could shut off but I never can. I’m always thinking, always negative and I never believe the positive the people I love tell me. I hate it. I want to sleep. I want to wake up happy and refreshed. I want it so bad.

[kkat37]

So sorry you feel like this, I have been having a hard time at night also. I took some liquid Benadryl tonight to see if it will help me rest. I hope you are able to rest tonight. Sending a prayer for you

[rainydays04 in reply to kkat37]

Nights are really really tough! I hope you get some good rest. Let me know if it helps you, I’ve considered looking into things that could help me sleep. Thank you, sending love and prayers your way too.

[kkat37 in reply to rainydays04]

Thanks! Ok I will generally during the day if I become too anxious I take the liquid Benadryl and it helps calm me down but it does make me sleep. Have you ever taken melatonin? I did a while ago and it helped turn my brain off an relax me.

[Orangeblossom85]

As a fellow insomniac I want to send you loads of love!!!!!

Its so hard to be skiping the nights one by one...

Today Ive slept 18 hours... But night before just half... and today none (its 5 am now).

I think all that trouble with sleep sets me off all the time and hipers my depression.

Fight it! Be strong, try to wait through it.

LOVE!!!!

[pink83737]

I know how you feel it sucks but it will get better

[kkat37]

The liquid Benadryl helped and I stayed sleep all night

[rainydays04 in reply to kkat37]

That’s great! Glad you had a decent sleep. I’ll have to go try some

[Cassie2178]

Hello, I think many of us suffer from not being able to turn off our minds at night. Anxiety robs us of the good things in our lives and makes us distrust those who love us and are choosing to be in our lives. If I was guessing I'd say you've suffered great loss before at the hands of someone you thought would never fail you and now, even after a good deal of time, your anxiety is trying to rob you of your new love and life. How do you overcome the anxiety and negative self talk? For me I had to reevaluate my ideas of what perfect looked like and understand that everyone (including myself) fail and will fail. But to maintain control there must be some non-negotiables. In other words things I cannot and must not put up with in my life. Just reading about you living with your boyfriend makes me hyperventilate. I could never trust someone to not just get up and run off, for me I need a commitment and marriage is one of my non-negotiables. I realized I don't feel safe without my SO being willing to commit to me financially, emotionally, and sexually (monogamy). I'm not saying this is what is causing your anxiety but it is possible. Everyone tells us its okay, we are committed and marriage isn't a guarantee and while I know this is true for me it is what I need and require. Whatever, you need to help you find peace and sleep I hope you will pursue it! If your guy loves you he will want to help you feel safe. There's an article that might help you , "Anxiousness and Anxiety Disorders" written by Don Graber. Maybe you can read it and find some answers. Best to you.