I'm not doing a long post but I probably will soon. I changed my entire way of thinking in one month. I wanted to take the time to share one method I incorporated that really made a huge difference.
After 7 years of misery that was only the end of a life of abuse, all of my thoughts were negative spirals that all led to me wanting to end my life. For the first time, I was planning to instead of it being the result of impulsiveness. I saw something that changed my mind. It was a picture of a dog being pulled away from the coffin of its owner. I love my dogs so I decided to not do that to them. I knew I had to immediately change my thought patterns. No matter how small the obstacle, everything led to the same thought pattern: I don't want to do this anymore and I want to die. Just thinking or looking at myself in a mirror ended with wanting to die.
Thoughts travel through a network of least resistance. All of my pathways were negative and ended the same way. A method I looked up to help create new, positive pathways way as a negative thought began, stop it and add "but I can change this, and it will get better". Insert something to change the thought into something open ended but in a direction of positive change. You can do this in the way that is best for you but I wanted to keep it realistic to not create stress like telling myself unrealistic expectations in a timeframe that I could feel was ok.
I'm far from ok but I'm ok for now. I put into words my thoughts this morning about wanting to find peace. I hear people being aggressive and stating they will do anything to protect their peace. I can't do that. I like to help people. I like to always be kind. I want the kind of peace that no one can take. I want to be at peace with myself.
Hello
Happy Late New Years everyone. 
Well hello depression..
I Feel Like Everyone Hates Me
