Recently diagnosed

[JustVeggies]

I knew something was wrong but didn’t know what. Now I have the answer but it may be too little too late.

I’ve been a different person for about the past year and a half - not able to get excited about things, avoiding people and always staying in, and worst of all being completely absent emotionally from my husband.

He reached the breaking point and has decided he needs us to separate for his own happiness. I understand that because he has been so hurt that he cannot stay and be miserable. He also cannot take on the burden of caring for me in the current state he’s in. I’ve honestly been awful and if the situation was reversed I would do the same because you have to “put your own oxygen mask on first” as they say.

This was the catalyst for me to figure my issues out. I knew I had been hurting him but it was never intentional. Like saying I would do something then not being able to, or not being there to support him when he was going through issues with his health and family. But it wasn’t because I didn’t want to or didn’t care about him, I love him deeply.

Now I’ve started treatment for anxiety and depression and realize that this disorder in my head is what has made me this way. I’m so regretful and sad that I let myself get to this point with my own health and our relationship. It’s just devastating.

So if anyone has words of advice about starting to heal from anxiety and depression, what has worked for you, how to explain it to others, etc. I would be grateful to hear it.

[Nothing_but_books]

Healing, it won't be linear. Don't expect it to be.

Our forum brings together folks who get it. That's hard to find elsewhere.

[Craigliving4Jane]

Hey JV

Your story sounds a lot like mine. I lost my wife also in 2022, mainly because I was just too flat out sick. Loved her to death ,always will, but if you can’t think right ,act right ,get out of your own world of pain, then we’re not gonna be doing things correctly for others, including our spouse sometimes.

I am definitely healing. It certainly helped that I found a 90% reduction of symptoms by going to a hospital when I was at my absolute bottom worst and finding out I was severely under medicated and needing to change my regime and therapy plan.

it certainly helps that I’m a believer. That I’m a Christian who knows that this life that we have is no more than a finger snap compared to enternity.

it was devastating to me too. But I’m getting over it.

I celebrate every day to the upmost, even though it hurts some days from my thoughts of what could’ve been.

Now I can live for the first time, and I don’t know how long ,relatively pain-free.

I wasn’t good to myself pretty much anybody around me because of my mental health challenges.

I’m so excited to see what’s remaining for me and can’t wait to get to the next stop. It’s got to be a great after party.

Much love.

Craig

[Dolphin14]

Welcome to the community

You've made the first step toward healing. You have started treatment and you've come to a very supportive community

In time you will get to know yourself better and things will change

🐬

[hypercat54]

Yes. Don't expect immediate results as you need to put in a lot of hard and often painful work yourself. But as long as you are open to change then it will happen believe me.

Lots of little changes will occur and like a domino effect grow into larger ones.

The first change (a very small one) which stopped me dead in my tracks was walking past a group of people laughing uproariously. Instead of my usual thought they must be laughing at me, I thought must be a good joke! Wow.

Try to live in the moment as living in the past means living with regret, in the future with anxiety. But if you live for today you live with balance.

Well done for starting on your journey of self discovery. It is scary but also very exhilerating too.