suffering in silence

[Overcomerthatsme]

lately I been suffering in silence . Battling with my thoughts . I was communicating and telling my friends and family until I started to get the feeling they were getting tired of me . I stopped telling them everything so now I just deal with it on my own. If I want to cry I will go and be by myself and cry . Im slowly dying internally in silence . My best friend has been prayer and journaling . It helps me get out my thoughts . I was taking medication until I told my other side of family and they said I shouldn’t . So I stopped . So I don’t know . And the worse thing is I’m a Christian so I feel like I shouldn’t be dealing with this . Each day is a battle for me especially in my head .

[Barbloki]

First of all, I'm sorry you feel you have to struggle alone. We all need people and community to share life with. And being a Christian does not make us immune from mental health issues. I really hate that so many churches don't recognize it as a real medical condition. I have found 2 pastors online who acknowledge mental health conditions and openly discuss them. Rick Warren of Saddleback Church. His son, Matthew, suffered with depression and mental health issues and he committed suicide. You can find videos of Rick and his wife Kay, talking about mental health in the church. They even started a mental health ministry at their church. Then there is Craig Groeschel who also preaches openly about depression and anxiety. It is not a sin just as having diabetes or a broken arm is not a sin. If you ever want to set up a time to chat online, let me know. Hang in there and God bless you.

[Overcomerthatsme in reply to Barbloki]

Wow thank you for your kind words . 🥲😭💚 . You right being a Christian doesn’t make us immune to having mental health problems . There are some people that dealt with it in the Bible but I notice people really don’t talk about that kind of stuff like that in my opinion sad to say . But you know that’s life . I have never heard of those pastors before I’m always on YouTube looking for a good sermon that helps me day to day . Yeah I would love to talk and just converse maybe then I won’t feel so alone or like I’m the only one that feels this way in a sense of not really having anyone to talk to except my therapist . So just let me know . Thank you again .

[Barbloki in reply to Overcomerthatsme]

I'm available now to chat. I'll see if I can get it working.

[CalmSeeker1]

I'm so sorry you are suffering alone. In the past I have done the same thing. I have learned that my depressed and anxious brain is very good at lying to me and my distorted thoughts become very real. I was convinced that no one wanted to hear about my struggle and no one could handle everything going on in my head. During this current episode I have pushed myself to be open with my husband and 2 trusted family members. The support and love they have shown me is amazing. It hasn't been easy because I've had to educate them about Bipolar 2 and advocate for myself, which has included the occasional difficult conversation. The payoff has been unbelievable. They have encouraged me to keep being open and talk to them anytime. Their support has meant everything and on bad days it has been lifesaving. I really hope you can find just one person you trust and can open up to them. Tell them your fears and give them the chance to respond and step up. All the best to you.

[Agora1]

Hi Overcomer, I was once in your position. How long can people hear the same thing

from you over and over until they dread asking how you are? I knew family and friends

didn't understand but it was my way of venting my suffering. Until one day...when one

of my best friends said to me "You aren't alone, you have yourself"... she never spoke to

me again. It hurt but she actually did me a favor. From that moment on, I became my own

Advocate (along with my doctor and therapist) to work on myself. Research and find what

may work for me. All the years of talking to others about my anxiety and getting nowhere,

I decided to take a different approach to my own issues. After all, who could understand

the emotional pain more than me.

You tube became my friend. Research and listening to many videos by the professional

on that site, help me to not only learn about anxiety but to find ways to get back in

control. Some of these professionals as well had struggled with Anxiety and knew

what they were talking about. One of them was the Anxiety Guy (a former member of

HU. If he could do it, then I could overcome my anxiety as well.

It wasn't an overnight success and I may have lost a friend or two but I found me again

and that was the goal.

Don't ever give up on yourself and the power you have inside you. xx

[Overcomerthatsme in reply to Agora1]

Wow this makes so much sense . You right I have myself . I have to start just understanding no one else will ever understand what I experience or go through because they are not me and this is not there story and that’s okay . I have been trying to stay prayed up and look at sermons and stuff on YouTube as well . Planning on journaling more and continuing to be open and honest with my therapist as well . Which has been a help . Thank you so much . Many blessings to you.

[Overcomerthatsme]

that’s so good you have a partner you can talk to about it and he understands . I have gotten two diagnoses and that’s generalized anxiety and ptsd . Once upon a time my doctor prescribed me pills for bi polar disorder but I never was diagnosed with it . It was a test I guess . So that kind of runs in my mind if I was tbh … cuz I do have mood swings . Like if something is said that I don’t like my mood changes . But I have been trying to communicate until I felt I couldn’t anymore so my therapist tells me to not talk about everything but journal . And I have been doing that along with talking to God tbh . There have been days I wanted to take my life but never have by the grace of God . So that’s a blessing you have people you can openly communicate your feelings with . My friend referred me to this I guess so I can meet ppl who will understand what I go through and talk about it . So I’m thankful for that but they don’t understand it sucks when you can’t talk to your family about it . But I pray to God that He will send someone I can trust to talk about everything with . Until then please keep praying for me . Thank you . 💚🙏🏽

[Peptink]

One thing I would like to add. Don’t stop your medication without consulting your doctor. Talk to him/her and if it’s not working then they can see about getting you something that works for you. Family members should not make you feel bad about taking your meds. They’re an important part of dealing with depression. Best of luck to you. ❤️

[Overcomerthatsme]

thank you so much . Will do 💚

[CLB1125]

I agree with everyone. Stopping the kinds of meds for mental illness without dr supervision is dangerous. Found that out the hard way! Do what feels right for you and your dr. Friends and family have their opinions but they don’t live our reality.

[Overcomerthatsme]

yeah I agree . Thanks so much .