Thinking about really hurting myself.

[Misunderstood86]

Hi everyone, my wife and I have had 2 big fights lately and we are on the verge of co parenting. My wife basically blames me for her being in the state she is from, we moved from my home state because of no good jobs to make it on. When she drinks it leads to arguments and her always want to put her hands on me first. I try to walk away all time she blocks me and calls me bad names belittle me at times and now blames me for defending myself and now her hair got pulled out. All the other times she pulls my out, bites and scratches my face all the time. When we are good its good but when its bad it goes down hill. I still love her and only wants her.

[Dolphin14]

If you are in danger of hurting yourself please call 988 for help.

It sounds like things are very volatile in your home. This is not good for you and your wife and it's certainly not a good environment for children.

My first thought is you need to separate and get counseling.

🐬

[Misunderstood86 in reply to Dolphin14]

Just been years of this even before my wife it was my mom way before she passed away. I know that there's nobody that really loves or cares about me. Been knowing that years ago. Maybe I should have been done something to myself.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Misunderstood86]

Please do not think that. You are worthy and important.

If this stems back to your mom you really need some intense therapy to get to the root of this.

You deserve to find peace

[Misunderstood86 in reply to Dolphin14]

U can't talk to therapist about everything, they may feel the need to put you somewhere

[Dolphin14 in reply to Misunderstood86]

I hope I didn't upset or offend you.

I've got ten years of therapy under my belt. You can choose what you want to tell them. I think full honesty is the only way to go.

I understand your fears in regards to therapy.

I hope you find some way to help you get through this

If you feel you may hurt yourself please reach out for help, 988

[Misunderstood86 in reply to Dolphin14]

Thanks. U are a good person

[corgi_fan817 in reply to Misunderstood86]

I think you should talk to your therapist. A therapist cannot help if they do not what’s going on. I know it is toughest thing at times, but you may feel better once you say it out loud to someone.

[PuzzleArt]

It is true that sometimes you even have to be careful what you say to a therapist, until you know them really well. A therapist often has a close relationship to a psychiatrist, who does have the power to decide if they think you are suicidal or not. It can be within the " normal" range, to have thoughts and actions against yourself. It is possible to manage these and to improve to the point of understanding things better....like where did it come from, and when did it start. Being honest about your own thoughts and motives is a good thing! And sharing them is a positive sign. It is possible to live one day at a time, and to learn to relax for at least part of that day. Relaxing, meaning to accept and live with yourself, even though you might be powerless to change the things you feel are inferior. This is my opinion and belief (You could have another). I believe that everyone who was born on this earth, was meant to be here, and has a purpose. (Even though it doesn't seem logical to our minds).

[Misunderstood86 in reply to PuzzleArt]

Thank you so much

[Thor1467]

good morning , thought I’d comment for the first time. I’m new. I am suffering from depression and anxiety. Have dealt with it on and off in my life, but I’m in my 50s, had a hip replacement and Covid and spiraled downward to where I’ve been off work for quite a while. Doctor has changed my medications so it’s only been a couple weeks on new ones. I start back to work today remote. Hoping I can cope. I’ve also had bad thoughts of whether I even want to live and it is debilitating. I could easily stay in bed. But I think about those I’d leave behind. I am trying a new therapist this week. I tried one but did not feel they had the experience needed for me. And the people in my life don’t know how to handle what I’m going through. I hope you all have the best day you can have. I can only think about the day in front of me right now or it’s overwhelming. I’m here if anyone ever needs to vent or express their feelings.

[Misunderstood86 in reply to Thor1467]

Thank you. It can be alot at times. I think about the few that I'll leave behind and feel they would be better off without me.

[Thor1467 in reply to Misunderstood86]

I know that feeling too. Trust me. But they’d carry the fact that we left them and chose to. Do you have kids? Mine are 26 and 23.

[Misunderstood86 in reply to Thor1467]

Yes I have four. 7,4,2,and1

[hypercat54 in reply to Misunderstood86]

No matter how you feel about yourself, to your children you will always be their daddy. Nothing can change that. They would never be better off without you in their lives or forget you so get those thoughts out of your head for good.

You sound very hurt and I'm not surprised, so why hurt yourself even more? You need to be there for your kids as they deserve the best. Always put them first and above your wife and yourself and you won't go far wrong in life.