student looking for advice

[BornToShine]

Hi, I am 21 and student. I decided to ask for your advice because I feel like I am in a loop, and and I don't want to put my health in an even worse position.

This is the case: I am not satisfied with my social life, mostly because of the image that other people presented to me and because of my own expectations. I see many of my age going out, socializing with each other, some of them travel to other countries, fall in love... It could be because most of them live in dorm or with roommates while I live alone. It's not that I expected to have special people- they are hard to find, and that I will have an exciting student life- some things attract me more than clubs and alcohol... but it's hard for me to accept the fact that I don't really have a single person to talk to and drink coffee with. That I didn't manage to leave any influence on any person to want to hang out with me as much as I want to hang out with them. No matter how hard I try and call, I can't stay in touch with them and get them to remember me.

I generally have no problems with motivation to study. I learned how to motivate myself through movies, games and small things like sweets. But this feeling of loneliness and looking at others makes me just study and take my mind off of it. It works, but but I exhaust myself too much.

My immune system is very bad, I often get sick and sometimes I have sleeping problems. I believe that it is due to my mindset and not having properly studying break.

And that repeats from month to month, health problems, negative mindset and over and over again.

Should life go this way? Are there any of you out there with experiences like this? Is there any better way to deal with it and preserve my physical health?

Thank you for reading ❤️

[kg55]

You are coming from a place where you ask should life be this way when in reality, life has no way it should be, if that makes sense. Everything you are exposed to on media or what you see socially has nothing to do with you. They are even probably thinking the same as you in other moments. It's a harsh truth. You are comparing yourself using society's standards and not your own. I suggest asking yourself what YOU want rather than these should'ves. We support you on this journey! You're gonna get through it because you don't have a choice but that's the way life is🫠❤️

[BornToShine in reply to kg55]

Thank you for your kind words of support. ❤️

[mcarrut1]

I understand where you are coming from. I am 34 going on 35. I have kids and dont go out much. I go to school, church, work and spend time with family. I have tried to find friends online and even dating sites. I have a few friends I try to hang with once and a while, but they are all married. It's hard not to be lonely and not compare yourself to married friends. Everyone my age I know is married and have kids and don't have a social life. If i could have a significant other than I'd be happy like that to right. That is how i think sometimes. It is hard and finding distractions only work for a short time.

[Kayakin]

Hi BornToShine, I know you are going to shine. One thing that helped me was being more physically active. If one is unable, just start from where you are and progress a little. I got involved in social dancing, and it was like a miracle. For the first time I was comfortable in a social situation There was something to talk about and do. As a newbie , you are asking something they love to talk about. If that is something you could consider, take a class.

Wishing you the best. You deserve it.

[BornToShine]

I really appreciate it. ❤️ Thank you for sharing your own example, I will take that option into consideration. I am glad you found place that makes you feel comfortable around people.

[brendonkellyrox]

you gotta find someone who likes the some stuff you do and before you guys go your separate ways say "do you have snapchat instagram or facebook?" or ask for there number to hang out again. Hope this helps