CRAVING FOR HELP!

[hopetobebetter]

Sorry for annoying all of you but I need help, please!

I am an 21 years old (m) and have been feeling pretty awful these last days. I have always been an caring and loving person to everybody. I had a very bad headache in Dec.30 . I didn't pay attention to that. But at Jan.1, I went out with some cousins, I ended up arguing with them very seriously because they were making jokes about me, and we left without speaking to each-other. In the morning I had severe headache. I was just thinking about what they did to me and was very sad, and was thinking about beating them when we meet. Since that day, I started having intrusive thoughts about harming my family members and got very sad. Looking on Reddit, I thought I had HARM OCD (pure), but I don't know how but I got somehow desinitised to these thoughts. Now they don't affect me very anxiety. Yesterday I was thinking why I stopped being stressed, and I thought: " WHAT IF THESE THOUGHTS WERE NOT CAUSED IMMEDIATLY? WHAT IF I AM REALLY AN HARMFUL PERSON BECAUSE I WANTED TO HARM MY COUSINS? WHAT IF I WAS NEVER AN GOOD PERSON? ".

These thoughts are making me feel like an psychopath. I just want to know if this is any kind of HARM OCD or just psychopathy? 🙏🏻🥲🥲

[hopetobebetter]

i am from a poor country 🥲

[Sunrisetabby]

Please try to avoid getting medical advice from REDDIT. I ask myself on a regular basis whether I was ever a good person and my sad conclusion as that I have not yet been a good person but that I need to keep trying. Trying and trying and trying to be a good person is what makes you a good person. Also, one of the best ways with dealing with toxic people is to avoid them. There are more than one or two people I would want to punch if I saw them - no, I am not a violent person, but I thankfully can avoid it by avoiding and limiting contact with these people. I would highly recommend that you try to find a therapist to talk in more detail about your thoughts. Yes, I have scrolled on Reddit more than once or twice, and some of the advice is ok, but much of it is garbage and please try to get advice from trained professionals or reputable websites.

[hopetobebetter in reply to Sunrisetabby]

MAY GOD BLESS YOUR KIND WORDS ! ❤️