Anxiety or what? WTF

[quitter333]

Ok, I am curious what the hell am I feeling.

I have some anxiety bouts since I quit smoking some 7+ weeks ago. I think withdrawal + existing depression + stressful time + etc. etc. cause d a real SHOCK to my brain so I have this or that sympthom all the time now.

Worst are - Insomnia and weird anxiety bouts. I already ruled out that my smoking may have covered schizophrenia, as I actually get interested in things more and more, my outlook to life is positive (for example yesterday I once again remembered how much I love Roman history and watched a ton of Caesar's battles videos), I laugh and feel sadness, I prefer socializing to loneliness.

...

But my anxiety (I think) is just messing with me - first I have insomnia or perhaps disrupted sleep for weeks now. I had major panic attacks when quit smoking and now I almost have subconscious fear of going to bed.

Because of sleep disruptions I think I developed mind-pops or random thoughts and sometimes just racing thoughts - I am a very quick person naturally, like a ferret on wheels - but these thoughts are just an avelanche. I consciously think - ok, I need to calm down and stop thinking a little. It helps, but I usually start just doing something to avoid it.

Then next - if I really think about it I start having random memories popping in my mind. Not like voices, but thoughts, that I know I have heard or seen, often simply during the day, but they appear randomly (not like too much, but when I feel anxious they appear).

Because of the bad sleep I often wake up and during these "just-out-of-dream" states I have panicky thoughts about having woken up again and then I have random thoughts and voila - I start panicking about hearing voices in my head.

I repeat - I am 100% aware the thoughts come from my consciousness, but I get scared since I never had anything like that before.

And finally - just sitting around working - if I drift off in concentration too much, sometimes during the day I feel a bit scared.. I start having very subtle fears - like my hands tingle a little and I start thinking about it and I start feeling as if I need to scratch something and then in a dumb roundabout of thoughts I start thinking about scratching my face etc. I am in full control, but I think it is my fight or flight response just boiling inside, it makes my mind concentrate on this anxiety attack and I hate it making me stop doing what Im doing.

Just like anxiety attacks - these weird feelings disappear in about 10 minutes.

So - people with anxiety, please tell me if you have experienced anything like this?

[AZ1970]

This sounds familiar. Our brains take a while to heal. I have had to learn to trust that process. When I have gotten of a medication that was doing harm to my brain, it took a month or two to get out of my system. I also get racing thoughts. I describe them as a hamster wheel that is going all the time. I can distract myself, but they are always there. Those stopped when I was taken off a of a stimulant and put on a mood stabilizer. You can always see a doctor to find out if there is something that would help.

[quitter333 in reply to AZ1970]

I already noticed doctor. I feel that this all is direct results of my brain getting quite a shock all at the same time (I quit even further back like 10 weeks, but I had few slips and especially one immediately caused night panic attack the next night). Guess this rollercoaster of panic and stress now lasts a bit more than normally should.

Then again - focus on something interesting to read and exercise seem to work well. My willpower definitely has returned and it feels ok, to absorb knowledge again.

I only want to get few nights of good sleep in a row without feeling weird every time I wake up, so my brain just goes "Aaaah.. right, this was the normal rhythm and vibe".

I am aware that prolonged mental problems can become chronic, so I wary of this situation. Today for example I felt zero random thoughts or racing thoughts, but one time at about 14:30 for about 10 minutes I again felt weird thoughts and probably anxiety (I always end up thinking - if I get crazy will I injure myself and start thinking about injuring my face/eyes. At least such a thought crosses my mind, and I hate it. I am extremely pro-survival. These thoughts are scary for me. Not alien, just not that I really enjoy irrational fear-ish sensations)

[quitter333]

Edit - to anyone wondering - it has gotten WAY better now. I started exercising and cut alcohol down and started going out more (to seek adventures). Pleasant moments made me much, much better!

I also forced myself to sleep and wake same times (at least twice going to wokr after sleeping barely 1 hour) and my sleeping regime jumped back to almost normal (I sleep from 24:00 to 7 AM)

[quitter333]

Ok.. update - a lot of it was connected with changes in blood pressure. It got high. I started exercising and sleeping better and alll hot fixed

[Hidden]

The mind pops and random thoughts are things I get!!

[quitter333 in reply to Hidden]

I think the biggest problem is that we try to swoop them away, as if our own thoughts are alien.

I found great relief, and basically cured any problems, when

1. I started doing more things that require concentration. Reading imo helped enormously. Reading something long, interesting, well written.

2. More hiking or sports. I personally find great focus, when I lift weights.

3. Realize that ANY mind pop is just your memory. If you treat own thoughts as some kind of problem, it creates an anxiety and overanalyzing loop - you start thinking about thinking about thinking and since logically it is infinite process, you sta having anxiety about thinking too much/wrong etc.Which in turn makes you follow own thoughts even more, and wrongly indicating just normal random human thoughts as "mind pops", "delusions" etc.

I personally have very strong memory and am creative as fuck (kind of adhd personality). I noticed that music, words or other things stuck in my head on a loop quite often. I would often remember strips of dialogue I heard on youtube videos I likes, without reason. Never it bothered me when I work, but I thought about it when idle (hence I am "ferret", because I lead very active lifestyle, to be less idle).

4. A real, very simple, proven by Psychology science method to very quickly get rid of annoying music, repetitive thoughts, mind popsetc.

- first allow the thoughts to roam free. Don't worry you won't go insane.

- After a minute or so, do something that requires great focus.

- Brain simply cannot focus on random and point at the same time, and it will discard your annoying memories, stuck music, mind pops etc.

5. A simple tactic, that requires a bit more effort - vizualize more if your mind pops are more words by nature (i.e. try imagining Literally anything, but really apply imagination. As if you are an actor, that has to imagine surroundings.) or read more if your pops are more visual by nature (like remembering old friend's faces etc.).

[Hidden in reply to quitter333]

Hey thanks!! This is exactly what I’m experiencing. I was terrified I had schizophrenia or something!! Haha. Like you hit the nail on the head. My therapist said I’m totally just anxious and it’s not me going crazy. But I am hyper aware of my thoughts! It’s like if I’m not thinking of anything anxiety related, that there’s a problem and it triggers more anxiety. We sound literally exactly the same.

[quitter333 in reply to Hidden]

SMART is the art of knowing but not over-analyzing. Be smart my friend *insert Bruce Lee pic here*

[Hidden in reply to quitter333]

Thanks I’m really grateful you posted this. I’m a huge hypochondriac and since I’ve exhausted physical ailments, I’m now terrified of mental! My docs all say that I’m fine but the fear of schizophrenia really resonates. Thanks for posting this!!

[quitter333 in reply to Hidden]

Don't worry yoi sound fine

[Hidden in reply to quitter333]

True I guess it’s common to fear going crazy.. hahaha