I need help. Please.

[Pizzaismyfavorite]

I feel like there is a voice inside my head telling me that you should do this, you should do that and you cannot rest at all. With that anxiety, I can't even do anything that I wanna do. Why am I so cornered by myself? Even when I'm tired and mentally exhausted, she keeps asking me what's next and pushing me forward. It feels like I don't even deserve a break. It happens more often on my day-off. What happens to me?

[Starrlight]

hmmm maybe talk back telling the anxiety that you appreciate the energy you are given but you need a rest? i also suggest calming meditation and music

[Pizzaismyfavorite in reply to Starrlight]

I appreciate your advice. But in my case, the anxiety won't listen to what I have to say. Very often, she'll come back at me saying you got so much on your plate and how dare you got the nerve to rest. I like to make plans and finish the work beforehand. It seems like she's got a point.

[Starrlight in reply to Pizzaismyfavorite]

I understand. Best to you, Pizzaismyfavorite.

[Sunrisetabby]

Pizzamyfavorite you have such a wonderful name. I really struggle with trying to relax. It sounds like you may benefit from some relaxation as well. I recently bought the grotesquely overpriced hug sleep pod and I've found it more helpful than weighted blankets. A white noise machine also seems beneficial, as well as an acoustic blanket behind my soundproof curtains. Do you have and strategies or techniques to help you relax?

[Pizzaismyfavorite in reply to Sunrisetabby]

Thank you Now that you mention it, I don't really have any forms of relaxation like yours. But I exercise sometimes and it helps me relax. That's all I can do. I tried white noise like the sound of heavy rain though, but it didn't help. Breathing technique would calm me down for a minute.

[dutchgirl71 in reply to Sunrisetabby]

I have a hug sleep too…I love it!!

[Dolphin14]

This sounds like an inner critic coming through. Telling you what you should and shouldn't do.

Have you ever traveled down that avenue in search for an answer to the reasoning behind this?

🐬

[Pizzaismyfavorite in reply to Dolphin14]

No, I haven't. Can you tell me what it looks like?

[Dolphin14]

psychologytoday.com/us/blog...

[Dolphin14 in reply to Dolphin14]

You used quite a few " should" statements

I did a quick search and found this article

See if any of it rings true

[Pizzaismyfavorite in reply to Dolphin14]

Thank you for your sharing. Those should statements are so ingrained in my mind that I've never tried to question them. Thank you for pointing it out.

[WaitingGame10]

Oooh your post about the inner voice telling you what you should or shouldnt do certainly rings a bell for me!For me that inner critic comes from having a very controlling mother in particular. I couldn't be myself and was conditioned and moulded into a role which suited her.

Don't know if you can relate to any of this.

[Dolphin14 in reply to WaitingGame10]

Rings a bell doesn't it

❤️🐬

[Pizzaismyfavorite in reply to WaitingGame10]

Thank you I totally relate to that. Part of my inner critic is my mom in disguise. Until recently, I just found out about it.

[corgi_fan817 in reply to Pizzaismyfavorite]

Sorry to hear that. I am actually eating pizza tonight. 😊

[Pizzaismyfavorite in reply to corgi_fan817]

Enjoy your pizza~

[corgi_fan817 in reply to Pizzaismyfavorite]

My apologies. That came out wrong. I was trying to add something positive to pull you away from your experience. I can imagine having so many thoughts scrambling your head. My only thought would be to find a quiet where none of things that raises your anxiety is located. Sometimes, I also say what's in my head out loud. It seems to help release the tension.

My son sometimes hears me saying something out loud and tells his mother. They just leave me alone.

[Lov2hydrate]

HiI like pizza too🍕!

I recently searched online on the topic of "hearing voices".

My search brought me to the following concept:

Running commentary hallucinations.

I was reminded of it when I read your post. Interesting to read about it.

[Pizzaismyfavorite in reply to Lov2hydrate]

I love to hydrate as well. Thank you for your comment. Good to know

[LoveforAll41]

Hola Pizza!I repeat as others have said in perhaps not the same words "Don't should on yourself!" I like as that article that Dolphin shared says, to make sure that there is something I "want to" or "would like" to do. I shoulded on myself hard and that is when my mental state really got out of control and it still can if I am not careful.

Going into this more with a therapist I found that I derived my worth from things I was doing, and this is complete bollocks. I finally have been able to embrace that we all have worth no matter what we do or don't do. We can't add to or detract from our worth, and I find that empowering and freeing. It frees me to do stuff that I like to do and not get bogged down with stuff that I feel like "I have to". I still go to work, but because I would like to provide for my family and help my team at work, not because I have to everyday. Some days yes, but not every day.

Even exercise can become dangerous for me if I wake up and think that I have to exercise instead of I would like to.

I wish you peace, hope, and strength☮️

[Pizzaismyfavorite in reply to LoveforAll41]

Hi! Thank you for your sharing. You're right. Changing my narratives into something like I "want to" would definitely make a difference.

I would like to know more about the idea that we all have worth no matter what we do or don't do. Because I'm in the middle of "I have to reach that goal, or I'm useless" mentality.

Thanks again.

[NorwegianWood in reply to Pizzaismyfavorite]

Also... instead of "I have to..." try, "I get to..." Change the perspective.

[LoveforAll41 in reply to Pizzaismyfavorite]

I posted about worth a while back when I was trying to understand it and I got some good answers. It is easier for me to see when I think about other human beings than myself, at least to understand that we have value no matter what we do or don't do. It rings true to me and is empowering, which I think is one way to recognize truth. Here is a link to that post

healthunlocked.com/anxiety-...

[swag10 in reply to LoveforAll41]

Excellent information-the critic comes from internalized "values" that go back as far as a child. The critic has to realize this is now at my present age having undergone many new experiences which can cancel out the bad stuff.

[NorwegianWood]

This sounds like there is a streak of perfectionism going on. I suspect there is also an element of needing to justify your existence by your work. Neither are rational or useful.

We are all less than perfect and we need to forgive ourselves for our humanity and fragility. Others are worth caring for ... and so are you. You are worth caring for and it is you who has to be chief of your cheer squad.

Mindfulness is a great way to calm a racing mind. Give yourself a break and find calmness through mindful deep breathing, walking and exercise but don't beat yourself up when you do less than you hope. There are no prizes for working yourself into the ground. There are prizes for you, however, when you can find tranquility and pride in who you are.

Look after yourself and ignore that domineering and irrational voice.

I spoke with someone the other day who was surprised at my fear and anxiety in stuttering and all that means for when I want to talk to groups of people. He told me that when he heard me speak he heard a quality, thoughtful, well-paced voice with no unnecessary words. It was a voice of reason that I don't normally allow myself to hear.

I wonder how you would treat a friend? Perhaps that might be a role model for how you treat yourself.

Wishing you a very different week ahead.

[swag10 in reply to NorwegianWood]

I like this one, particularly about finding tranquility and pride in who you are. For me I have had the compulsion to achieve, collect and running for the next thing. I have felt I had to prove myself over & over growing up.

[SameTimeTomorrow7]

We all have that constant internal dialog telling us this and that, reminding us of our responsibilities, etc. Try talking back to those voices or, if the "shoulds" are legitimate, go ahead and act on them. This may be the way to find peace. Good luck.

[MaggieSylvie]

You've got a gremlin sitting on your shoulder. When they pester you with shoulds, tell them in no uncertain terms to get .... off your case. If you are doing all that stuff anyway, you have no need for a manager telling you what to do and when to do it. You get yourself in charge of your life!

[MaggieSylvie]

Those voices in your head are sometimes identifiable as someone of authority in your past. I think you have already idetified the voice!😆😈

[lauralidia]

it was years ago when I’ve got the flu and was so sick on the sofa watching tv.It was the first time I finally relaxed and that voice let me rest.And I’ve got the awareness of how merciless and relentless that voice is.It came from my grandmother.She used to say,you’re lazy,you’re gonna get a fat ass like your mom,you’re never gonna amount to anything.It made me become a successful person by my achievements.And deeply sad inside.It also made me sabotage myself because I wanted so bad to say NO to this voice.It is a long process integrating our parts.Keep up the good work❤️

[Craigliving4Jane]

curious if you have a therapist and what their clinical opinion is

[RLSSCARER]

Many medications have withdrawn side effects, the voices can occur when you stop taking medication or if you get tolerance like to benzodiazepine, the higher the dose the longer the duration more problems you'll get with voices. People who have RLS often get the worst side effects from most medicines, maybe check drugs.com for the known and rare side effects.

[scansnap]

It sounds like there might be some self – esteem issues involved. You have identified your grandmother as the source of all these “should statements.” It is now time for you to reevaluate what is really essential and what is not. Also, this is important to identify what you want to do. In addition, to all the techniques suggested by other posters, I would recommend doing some CBT and reading a book or two on self – esteem.

[Zhangliqun]

The main thing is to figure out what's causing this. It sound like something from childhood where you were consistently told that matter how much work you put in on something, it was never enough. You give this voice a female identity -- was it Mom telling you this?

It's also possible that it's partly based in brain biochemicals giving you a sensitivity to such thoughts, and therefore a combination of outside influence and neurochemical vulnerability. Get a good doc and find out...

[moxoni237]

The need for keeping the chatter away not good enough self worth framing thoughts it’s because of Lower self awareness esteem keeping negative thoughts are brain draining and negative relations which scupper self confidence you are more than enough letting go of words that don’t

Serve changing those words with l am more than worthy thinking maybe about things you are grateful for friends family

to rise above positive with affirmations good intention think maybe what you are grateful for sharing interesting self talk which gives a sense of joy compassion gratitude or something that takes thoughts always a good conversation a walk or activity with my change focus and clarity