Failing to figure out after a huge trigger

[winternight]

Recent days were quite difficult. As much as that I didn't even want to hide it. I came across something that just numbed my mind, I couldn't believe it when it happened... Since then I am not able to digest it, think about it or talk about it. There are just chills in a corner of my mind. I need answers but maybe I don't want to because they might be too bad to handle. I don't know what's the true and what's fake anymore. I don't know if I know the person closest to me. What if I never did. That will break me. There seems only two possible explanations and both are so bad that I can't dare to try to know. I am trying to suppress it and shut my brain. I came to college after 4 days. Its not the same anymore... I was sitting in the class when this happened out of nowhere and I broke down in the middle of the class, I went to the washroom and couldn't get out after that. A senior helped otherwise this hand didn't stop this time by myself. Everything rushed into the mind with a burst. And i am still under it, because it's really scary. I feel I have noone.

[fauxartist]

Sometimes when this stuff comes up to the surface, it's confusing, traumatic, scary, and we really need help sorting it out. Often schools have counseling available, and I would try and see if you can get someone to help as soon as possible. These things can make us feel undone and disoriented as to what's true and what isn't....we just really need to have someone professional and non-bias help.