Is My Illness Entering a New Phase?

[Scott1951]

My anxiety is usually fairly manageble but this weekend was the worst I can ever remember. Yesterday I walked briskly four miles but that hardly made a dent in the anxiety I was feeling. I woke up this morning with my mind racing and every muscle in my body tense. I wonder if I am entering a new phase of my illness that might one day result in a hospital stay or if this. too, shall pass. I have klonopin but I have been fearful to use it. I wonder just how frequently you can take a benzo and not get hooked. I soon have to go and teach an exercise class and then I have a massage scheduled for later in the day. I hope to get out and do a good bit of walking, too. Tomorrow I have a med check with my doctor. I plan to talk to her about how to safely use the klonopin. It is scary to not know what the future will bring and to feel so little control over my thoughts and feelings. I know I am not alone here in feeling this way. Thanks for reading this and I hope your day brings you some measure of peace.

[Thankfulforhelp22]

I wish you peace as well. Mental health struggles are unpredictable (in my experience). Occasionally the tools you use to make yourself feel better will not be effective or be less effective. Don't abandon them. Exercise is a tool I use, and it helps. Lord knows I need as many effective tools as I can get. Sometimes I wake up with a negative fog in my mind that lifts within an hour before I even take a walk or go to the gym. It can be so weird sometimes but I am learning that sometimes i just need to "ride out" a mood and let it come and go without fighting it.

I wish you the best.

[Scott1951 in reply to Thankfulforhelp22]

Thanks so much for your helpful reply. Yes, I think I just need to ride it out and avoid overthinking. Hope you had a good workout today and are feeling well. Many thanks.

[LoveforAll41]

I agree with what thankful said. I also think that I can usually see what has made me feel more of a failure or like I might fail at something if I examine events and feelings of the time around the spikes.