Feeling alone in my illness

[Nothelpless]

Hi everyone,

For years I have felt sick with all kinds of symptoms, I assumed that they were sinus issues and I had head pressures. The medications worked for a while and then stopped. I had tingling all over my body, shortness of breath, fatigue, could not clean my house, and a ton of work at work like everyone else but could never keep up because I was always sick, I was always sleepy (feels drunk sleepy) as well and could not grade papers, or stand in front of students in the class, so I quit. That was 4 years ago.

Within the last few months, I found out that I have suspicious lumps in my thyroid (i have to repeat biopsy). I have antibodies that suggest an autoimmune condition on my thyroid, other bloodwork relating to it is also out of range.

What I am having trouble with is the loneliness that I have felt for years because of it. I stopped hanging out with friends because if I felt well for a few hours and commit to an event or activity, I may have to back out. Even now I hate talking about it with family because they don't understand my symptoms. 2 of my brothers said nothing is wrong with you. My mom, you just don't exercise enough. My brother is already saying even these tests will probably confirm that you nothing is wrong with you.

I will go to the doctor again to get to the root of it and fix it

but if you can, please say something.

[Greenswimmer13]

Hi Nothelpless. I suffer with generalized anxiety disorder, ocd, and bipolar 1 disorder. Recently the GAD has been taking over and has become a daily and debilitating monster I have been living with. I have had my thyroid checked and everything came back normal. However, if you do have issues with your thyroid, it can certainly lead to physical and mental symptoms of anxiety. It’s so hard when the people around you, such as family and friends, don’t understand your condition. My mom always says to think positive, or take a walk. It’s not only frustrating to deal with the symptoms, but also to deal with the lack of understanding of those around us.

I have very few friends and feel very alone in my illness as well. I don’t want to go do things because my anxiety is so high that it is mentally and physically debilitating, and it seems like nothing helps and everyone else around me is fine and leading and enjoying normal lives. I don’t know if you suffer from anxiety or depression or have ever been diagnosed, but I can relate to your feelings and am here to talk and offer support. You can direct message me if you’d like.

[Nothelpless in reply to Greenswimmer13]

Thanks for talking to me. I feel better already. I am so sorry that you have anxiety and depression. I have had panic attacks in the past. I think I have depression but only related to my other symptoms because when I feel better, even I feel like I must have been lying because my mental clarity is back 100%, and I feel ten times better, I can breathe well and so on, which is why I think of it as a flare-up when I get it (which is all the time)

[Greenswimmer13 in reply to Nothelpless]

That would make sense if it was depression. I know during depression a lot of physical symptoms can be present, and you can feel sick and wonder if there is an underlying health issue. Then when you’re feeling better, the physical symptoms seem to disappear.

[Greenswimmer13 in reply to Nothelpless]

I’m sorry you’re dealing with flare ups and not feeling your best a lot of the time.

[Nothelpless in reply to Greenswimmer13]

Thanks. How are you coping with your depression and anxiety?

[Greenswimmer13 in reply to Nothelpless]

Not very well honestly. I’m on medication for my bipolar depression, but my psychiatrist won’t give me anything for my anxiety, which has been going on 24/7 for about 6 months now. My two children are about the only ones that keep me going. I try exercise, meditation, deep breathing, etc, but nothing seems to really be of much help right now.

[Nothelpless in reply to Greenswimmer13]

I am so sorry to hear. Anxiety sucks. I hope that your anxiety level can reduce to healthier levels soon. We all deserve to be happy and in good health

[Greenswimmer13 in reply to Nothelpless]

Thank you, I really appreciate that.