I want to be FREE of this!!!

[Not_Free]

I am so sick of the ups and downs of depression ... especially the downs. When will this ever end??? Does anyone even care??? I live in a place with a lot of people and I easily go unnoticed and have no desire to be with them. I fear rejection.

Whether it's real or my imagination, it hurts. I wish people were kinder and more sensitive to how others are doing and feeling.

I would love to start life over, but I'm almost 50. I just want to be happy and to be free of this pain and loneliness.

[davidthecoder]

Yes there are people that do care, some make it their career to help people facing these challenges. I understand that people that are not dealing with anxiety or depression may not really understand how it feels. It is very difficult to live with, like having a physical disability. Since it is invisible to the eye, they do not know.

But others that have also faced these things, have a shared understanding and many of them do care about others that are going through it as well, and so they join a support group. I am always hoping that someone will overcome anxiety and/or depression so that they can serve as an inspiration to others, a reminder to us that healing can happen.

[Not_Free in reply to davidthecoder]

Thank you for your kind words and reminders.

[gajh]

Depression is sooo difficult. I am sorry you are suffering. I care.

[Not_Free in reply to gajh]

Thank you. It's helpful to know there are people who care.

[Adlon57]

I am retired, single, been disabled all my life, always wanted to move to travel, had ambition but my disabilities have always held me back, and most people "Nothing wrong with you?" I look 'normal' but it when you find friends who are aware of your 'shortcomings' and still remain friends, they are rare, but keep them close👍. When I left school at 16 I was lined up for what they called a "mental home" that was fifty years ago, I have epilepsy🙄but have a long line of medical "alternatives" to add to my 'colourful' medical cv. Certainly I was lucky in that my parents knew I had some sort of intelligence and I eventually found my niche, via night classes etc. Good Luck 👌

[TailWags]

I think i know what you mean.. i am tired of all the work to figure things out and self analyzing to check if your emtions and feeling are normal or overblown. Ive tried so many approaches. I know feelings dont last forever, but i am very ready to feel better. Anyhow, no one knows when it will end, but someone does care. And we are not alone..

[Not_Free in reply to TailWags]

Thank you for the reminder.

[ladybyrd]

We here care about you. Everyone here has or has been through similar situations as yourself now. You can fear rejection even if no one is around and it is one of the most painful feelings to feel. I have to remind myself even if someone is rejecting me, it say more about them than it does about myself. I name it for what it is and move on. Even if it keeps coming up in your thoughts just keep telling yourself it's really not about you. Hard but simple. Remember to, this time of year is harder on most for different reasons, your not alone. Use this forum and community for an outlet until some of this passes. If your meds need changing or adjusted talk to you doctor or etc. You do what you need to, to take care of yourself first.

[Gillyflower18]

I hear you! We all care here. Many of us have been battling this like you for a long time. It’s definitely not an easy road. Do you have a good therapist? That can really help in sorting things out. Depression can be cyclical as you have experienced. Learning how to handle the cycle better is the key as is learning the why behind it. Hang in there. There are always people here who care and know what you are experiencing. 👍

[Not_Free in reply to Gillyflower18]

I do have a good therapist ... I just want all of this to end ... I want happiness. I want to be free of the pain, loneliness, and fear.

[RemySue]

So sorry you are going through this

[Not_Free]

I'm sorry to hear this. I'm sure she's well intentioned, but just doesn't understand depression. I have a lot of people who tell me to just "push yourself" to get out there ... stand up for yourself, reach out to others, etc. but it's so hard when you feel this way.