I just want to be alone : Ugh trying to... - Anxiety and Depre...

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I just want to be alone

Mdrobinson991
Mdrobinson991

Ugh trying to figure out how to tell my friend that I'm really not interested in hanging out at her place. There's lot of people and my anxiety is high today. Plus my lizard might be sick. I would really rather be home.

7 Replies
oldestnewest

Honesty tends to resolve our problems much more thoroughly than excuses do. You are not required to give a complete explanation, just say "I can't today".

And that is your choice Mdrobinson991. When we make a choice, we must also accept the consequences that may come with it. At one time, I preferred to be alone. The anxiety was so overwhelming that I wasn't able to concentrate in what anyone else had to say. It may sound selfish but it's what I had to do for myself. Same for you right now. You are just not in that frame of mind. Now whether you lose this friend over this (as I did) so be it. this is how anxiety causes us to be lonely. Right now, your wellbeing comes first. Hopefully she will understand. xx

You know how you will feel in this situation. Just be honest with your friend and tell her you just can’t do it today. Don’t make an excuse, just be honest. If they are a good friend they will understand. If for some reason they don’t, then perhaps it is better to let them go. Your mental state needs to be focused on first.

If it becomes completely necessary?

"I don't feel well, and I don't want to be around anyone today."

"Well . . . like I said, i don't feel well and I don't want to be around people today."

"Yes, I know I told you and Bill and Elaine, and Kaitie, Pricsilla and George I was looking forward to it, but I can't be there because I don't feel well, and I don't want to be around anyone today."

"Okay, well, I don't feel well today and won't be there."

"Click"

"Friends" that don't allow me to say no cause me to be anxious and depressed.

Agora1
Agora1 in reply to old-soul

Oh how true old-soul....these people do not take "no" for an answer and like you

I keep getting more and more anxious until I do end up hanging up on them. The

problem being, my mind then plays the scenario over and over.

I may be alone now w/o those friends, but a whole like more stress free.

How have you been ??

old-soul
old-soul in reply to Agora1

How have I been? = 50 years of up and down, right now, feeling alright and have gotten a ton done already today.

Agora, I really have to let it sort itself out once I have set a boundary on my time. That is one thing that IS MINE, becasue I AM ME, not "Them," or "Thay" or whatever.

If I don't fell well, I take care of that before anything else that is not, "Nutrition, water sleep, bills, laundry, and other things that clearly fall into that sort of category.

It's not my job to placate anyone that "can't handle" that. It really IS that simple, though I'm as nice as I know how to be.

Broken record technique.

"I'm sorry, but I don't feel well and will not be there."

lather, rinse, repeat.

Honestly, if someone can't handle that, then I can't handle them.

just be honest, nothing wrong with wanting to be at home, you have a valid reason...I think social media sometimes makes us feel like we need to be out a lot more? any thoughts welcomed?

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