I saved both my parents lives

[davidthecoder]

I take care of my elderly father and have been the one to call 911 for him multiple times for seizures. I am always afraid of him having another one, so I am very vigilant.

But also a few years ago, I attended my big sisters birthday party where they were eating Indian food. My mom started choking on a piece of meat and I quickly, instinctually performed the Heimlich maneuver (I had never even done it before) and managed to dislodge the blockage and she got it out. For reference, someone can die in less than 5 minutes if they are choking. Sometimes the ambulance won't even make it in time.

These events happened while I was also suffering from anxiety.

Even though I feel like a good person (I have never been in real trouble, not even a parking ticket), people do not message me. I got a bad reputation for telling people to wear N95 masks on Facebook, when the people on my friends list were against precautions (they saw it as similar to catching a cold). I had good intentions that were twisted as being someone who "spreads fear". I was actually trying to spread information that could protect people. But it was falling on deaf ears.

Also despite saving my moms life, I was told by my little sister that if something happens to my dad, who I take care of, then I will be without support from the other side of the family, unless I follow their "conditions" (which were not elaborated on). I gathered that this came from conversations that I was not involved in, and she was passing on the word of warning to not rely on them for help, because it will be denied.

Ok, I just wanted to get that out of me. I am grateful for this place, and for you for listening.

[Agora1]

I'm proud of you davidthecoder...Anxiety can be a big bully but when we are in an

emergency situation, it's ironic in how we are able to re-focus on the problem at hand.

Know that you are a good person and don't let anyone make you think differently.

As for wearing of the mask, we can't talk people into doing what they don't want to do.

Protect yourself and hopefully by example, you will allow others to think it over.

Thank you for sharing your journey with us. We do Care. xx

[davidthecoder in reply to Agora1]

Thanks for the response Agora. I am just having a particularly difficult day. I texted my mom earlier to let her know I have presents but wasn't able to wrap them, and I just get very short responses from her. Like I am causing an inconvenience. It is painful and confusing. But at the same time, she might have anxiety herself.

I just felt better typing this out. And yeah, it did surprise me how quickly I jumped into action for her, it felt automatic and instinctual. I didn't even have time to panic before responding. I am really glad I was able to get it out of her, I can't imagine what it would have been like if I wasn't able too.

But I feel like everyone forgot about it. My sisters don't message me even though they witnessed it with their very eyes. I don't even recall if anyone even said thank you. I'd like to believe that they did though. We just continued with the birthday dinner right after.

[Agora1 in reply to davidthecoder]

Strange in how everyone handles a situation differently. You did the right thing

even if it weren't recognized by your sister. xx

[davidthecoder in reply to Agora1]

Yeah I feel pretty good about it. But I think these experiences made my anxiety worse. They put me more on edge.

But I am just getting a bit lost in my thoughts today. Overthinking. I think this is a problem for many others as well. Thinking of the past and future, but not the present moment. An easy trap to fall into.

[Hidden in reply to davidthecoder]

Hello David yes as agora said be proud of yourself she was a paramedic and they act fast, it's easy to think bad of ourselves when it's not us that's bad it's others your sisters are no doubt trying to justify there own behaviours by falting yours and there's is of course that there not there for your parents like you are please try move on from them there not worth it plenty here know you are a great guy foccus on that 🤗

[davidthecoder in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for the response! I think both my sisters have or had anxiety as well. So I need to factor that in. I do agree that I am focusing on the wrong thing here, but that is part of the mental illness I suppose. It tends to cling on to more negative things and turn up the volume.

But its temporary. It fades and I am able to calm down and just breath. I am hopeful that I will overcome it eventually. I have made a lot of progress, but sometimes take a step backwards. Probably true for others as well.

[mizzou7016]

All I can say to this is wow.....they don't want to "step up to the plate" themselves.....but are going to be critical of you because of the choices you have made and are making considering your dad's health and other things...wow wow wow