Spiraling

[ashleybakerr01]

I can feel myself spiraling. My depression is hitting really hard right now. I just want to stay in bed and sleep it all away 😪. I'm just not happy...and I feel like maybe others would be happier if I wasn't here. I'm just at a low right now, and I feel alone

[DieselDad]

I know we all say it and hear it A LOT but 'you're not alone' 😊 We've all definitely been there and have felt your pain. My worst was 12 days ago, and all I could manage was to google this site and join. I'm glad you're managing to reach out here in your time of need. Someone was here to listen to me rant when I didn't even know what I wanted to say, and now in you're moment people are here. Do you have someone that you can talk to?

[ashleybakerr01 in reply to DieselDad]

This site has helped a good bit. I don't even have words for how or why I feel this way, if that makes sense. It just kinda happens. People think you need a reason to be depressed or sad ..but really you don't need a reason. Sometimes it just hits, then you are stuck in this loop for awhile

[DieselDad in reply to ashleybakerr01]

I know the feeling of being stuck in that loop when it hits, and when it hits I tend to immediately look for negative signs that it's going to get worse.... and then it does. It becomes self-fulfilling. What I found helps me to at least keep it from spiraling down is to acknowledge the negative thought then try to intentionally find 1 thing to be grateful for. That seems to help me keep from spiraling worse and stop to catch my breath.

I hope this helps 🙂

[davidthecoder]

Hi ashley,

I had my lowest point around 2 years ago now and it was the scariest experience of my life. But at the same time once I reached that low, it was gradual improvement from there. Getting through that low point was painfully difficult where every day felt like a bad day. When that goes on for months, years...it can't really be described to someone else how that feels.

You are not alone here. And also, people do make it through this. Is there anything that has given you relief, and how long have you been dealing with the depression?

[ashleybakerr01 in reply to davidthecoder]

I've been dealing with depression since 14..I'm now 22. Nothing really gives me relief, it just kinda fades and comes on later again

[davidthecoder]

Yeah same problem over here...comes and goes like waves. Sometimes I have no idea what even triggers it. When I am feeling one, it gives me relief to remind myself that it is temporary, it will pass because it always does. But still, it is majorly uncomfortable riding one of those waves.

Eight years is definitely a long time to be going through that. I am sure you have heard things like "well, just cheer up", which is basically complete nonsense to anyone with depression. As if it were that simple. At least here, we realize that.

Not sure if you drink caffeine at all but I just cut back on it and already feeling some relief. It would make me spiral hard. Just worrying thought leading to worrying thoughts. So, no more coffee or energy drinks for me. But I am willing to make that sacrifice just to feel a little bit better.

[Overweightdepressed in reply to davidthecoder]

I drink a lot of coffee. Going to try this.

[davidthecoder in reply to Overweightdepressed]

Worth giving a try. I won't say that it has completely eliminated my anxiety, but I noticed that the waves have been less powerful. The heart doesn't race as much, same for the thoughts. Before I started cutting back, I also saw this: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caffe...

While I don't think in my case that the caffeine was necessarily causing the anxiety, it was simply making it more intense. While I am getting good initial results, we will see how it holds up longer term and if I get particularly triggered.

[ashleybakerr01 in reply to davidthecoder]

Caffeine has never affected my anxiety really. Except for when I was on meds last year, I couldn't drink coffee at all without getting bad afterwards. I stopped meds last December because they've never really seemed to me any good, they've made me more anxious and overall worse

[RemySue]

I am so sorry you're feeling bad.

[ladybyrd]

Hope you feel better soon. If I could and it helped I'd smacked the depression in the nose fir you. Just wanted to lighten the load a bit. Feel better!

[car103]

Cross off the "people better off" thinking. It's a cognitive distortion and not true.I'm right there with you muddled in my don't want to get out of bed, do nothing and hide from the world. There is a small comfort in knowing that I am not the only one with this struggle. I hate my Depression.

[bethelbee]

Are you seeing a therapist? Since meds weren't helping, have you considered alternative treatment for your depression? I'm in my 60's and after being on meds for decades became treatment resistant to them a few years ago. My therapist recommended TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation)and it has really helped me! It's a noninvasive treatment that uses magnetic pulses to stimulate a part of the brain to reduce/eliminate depression. Treatment is typically 5x/wk for 6-7 weeks with each treatment being about 20 minutes. After each treatment you can go about your day. I've had 3 rounds, the positive results of the first two each lasted about 6 months and my last round is still working after 2 years. As with any treatment results vary, for a few it doesn't help. It literally saved my life at one point..... Hope you can find a treatment that helps you!!

[car103]

What do you think turned the corner for you?