i think i might have anxiety

[11_11]

last year around new years me and my family were invited to a new year’s party. i was excited i was around all my favorite people. it was me my mother and my sister who went. as soon as i got to the party i got hot and cold flashes i felt really emotional but didn’t understand why i would start to get hit as soon as anyone spoke to me. i found myself with a runny nose and watery eyes every two seconds. i would have to run to the bathroom and try to put myself together. as soon as i thought i was okay i would go back out and the same thing would happen. this happened around three times in the same hour and i didn’t know why at the time. i tried to ignore it after a while and kept forcing myself to stay as long as i can before running to the bathroom. after the situation kept repeating itself i decided it would be best if i just left. i went to my room as started balling my eyes out as i sort of saw it as i sign of weakness because i couldn’t control my own mind i was really mad at myself and changed into my comfortable pyjamas and locked myself in my room. i few days later i felt like talking to someone. i pulled my cousin aside with my mother, my cousin is majoring in psychology and works in a hospital with children and people who suffer from addiction and mental illnesses. i explained the situation and she explained to me that she can’t diagnose me but she thinks i could have anxiety and told me she will try to talk to someone she works with. i love my cousin dearly but she told a lot of my family members about what i experienced. it’s normal in my family that we don’t keep secrets from each other and i was wrong to assume she would keep this between us. i don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone about this anymore and i was trying to find a way to talk to someone without them knowing. i also want to add that in my family mental illness is frowned upon. since then i stop talking to anyone about how i’m feeling and i’ve gotten a nicotine addiction which my dad also suffers from. i hated smoking or anything to do with it when i was little so i’m disappointed in myself that i picked it up around january. keep in mind that i if my family found out let’s just say i won’t be here to see tomorrow. i want to stop but i need help new year is coming up and i’m starting to overthink and feel anxious again i find that i’m overthinking about everything. i even tried going to the salon today which always seems to calm me down but i ended up overthinking the whole time i don’t even know what i was thinking about… i need to pee… this is taking to long is my mom worried… did i pick the right color for my nails. i talked a lot and i’m sure no one will have the time to read this but it made me feel better just typing it out and knowing it won’t come back to haunt me. at least i hope so. i just need help with my anxiety and please if anyone has tips to quit nicotine.

[11_11]

AHHHHHH i was just reading one of your post LITERALLY JUST NOW but thank you so much you don’t understand how much this means to me i swear.

[davidthecoder]

Also wanted to show some support, because I have a similar problem around groups of people. I get a racing heart/racing thoughts. The anxiety makes me think that something bad is going to happen (like getting terribly sick).

I am still working through this problem personally. I always feel for someone else going through the same thing because I know how it feels.

There are multiple approaches to tackling this and I just want you to know I have made progress. I am building up the courage to face some of my biggest fears, and I think that will get me back to a better place, mentally speaking. So while it is scary to deal with this, there are ways to address it and overcome this difficult challenge.

Coming to a support group was a very good idea. Some people do not take that step, but you did. And I hope you will find some value here on your journey.